on for so long but I thought Hayden knew the score—that it was just sex. Apparently not, which meant only one thing: it’s over.
‘I don’t think so, Hayden.’ I tried to shake off his hand but he only tightened his grip.
‘So is that all I am to you?’ The pressure on my hand bordered on painful. ‘A fuck-buddy?’
‘Yes, Hayden, that’s exactly what you are.’ I swivelled round to glare at him but I couldn’t hold it, not when I saw the pain shimmering in his eyes.
‘Fine.’ Anger replaced the pain in his voice and he released my hand as if he’d been burned. ‘You got what you came for, now get out.’
Free to move, I yanked my hand away and pushed up to standing. Keeping my back to him, I jutted out my jaw and crossed the short distance to the door with my head up and my shoulders back yet when I tried to walk out, my feet rooted themselves to the floor. My curse of a conscience reared its ugly head once again, refusing to let me leave without saying something to Hayden.
My bravado was slipping anyway so I let it fall just enough to offer him a glimpse of the girl behind the bitch mask. The real me. After all these weeks of being at my beck and call, he deserved that much. ‘I’m sorry, Hayden.’ I meant it too. A part of me wished I could give him what he so clearly wanted but the rest of me was screaming and begging me to get the hell out of there.
When Hayden finally looked at me, his eyes widened. My planned goodbye dried up on my lips. He’d seen too much. No longer glued to the spot, I yanked off my heels and fled.
‘Alice. Wait!’ he called.
Bed springs creaked behind me, spurring me on and I sprinted down the stairs with my shoes in one hand and gripping the banister with the other. Hayden’s footsteps reached the top of the stairs but I’d already cleared the bottom three steps in a single leap. I snatched up my discarded knickers and stashed them in my bra, then grabbed my keys. Hayden was getting closer—too close—causing me to fumble with the lock to the front door but I got it open on the second attempt and burst out into the sunlight without looking back.
By the time Hayden appeared at the gaping front door, still stark-naked, I was locked in the car with the engine running. A look of resigned acceptance replaced the frown that creased his handsome face and my ragged breath hitched painfully in my chest. Wearing nothing but a sad smile, he raised his hand to offer me a single wave then turned his back on me and calmly closed the door.
One tear fell into my lap, closely followed by another. Not even I could take that many hits in such quick succession without some kind of meltdown but I didn’t let anybody see me cry. Ever. No way did I want Hayden to see me crying, especially when it wasn’t even over him; he was just one more episode in the shitty life of Alice Taylor.
I wiped my eyes and slipped the car into first gear. Black smudges smeared the back of my hand, evidence that my camouflage was ruined but I didn’t have the strength to keep up the act anyway. Left with nowhere else to go, I eased away from the kerb and pointed Mum’s car towards home figuring I could use the journey time to psyche myself up for the next battle.
Sister
Trepidation grew with every metre that passed, wondering what sort of reception I’d get from Mum today. I’d managed to slip out of the house without seeing anyone first thing so I didn’t know which of her moods would meet my arrival. Unable to concentrate, I barely made it halfway home before I had to pull over or risk killing someone. I might be a cold-hearted bitch but I wasn’t a murderous one.
My hands trembled as I reached into my bag to grab my cigarettes and lighter. The flame was halfway to my mouth when I remembered I wasn’t in my nifty little convertible. No way could I get away with lighting up in mum’s car, not even with the windows down, so I pushed the car door open and set off walking down the street. I wasn’t in the mood for another lecture about smoking, but not because smoking kills.
No, Mum was more concerned about the ageing effects, the smell of stale tobacco and the fire risk to her beautiful things. She couldn’t give a toss about me. A fact she’d proved time and time again. I upped my pace to burn off the nervous energy flooding my senses. It took two cigarettes before I’d calmed down enough to get back behind the steering wheel.
Down to my last cigarette, I seized the excuse to further delay my arrival. At the next set of shops, I stopped off to buy more supplies, including another pack of my trusty nicotine gum and a pack of baby wipes. I took my time removing my smudged eyeliner but, with the task done, I couldn’t put off going home any longer.
Grand iron gates slowly opened to admit me and I peered down the long, sweeping driveway. From where I sat, it looked idyllic; impossible to see the monster of a building hidden by the screen of trees getting ready to shed their leaves over the manicured lawns. The house’s sheer size and grandeur never failed to intimidate me. I didn’t belong there: I knew it; Mum knew it; and I swear the house knew it too.
Never could I ever imagine a day when I would think of the place as home but if I had my way it wouldn’t be for much longer. I floored the accelerator, then pulled up in front of the house with a handbrake turn. I had a reputation to maintain, after all. A cursory glance up at the house told me the only person to witness my rebellion also happened to be my favourite person in the entire world.
Great. The only person that I didn’t want to upset, but at least I was assured of a warm welcome. Charlie’s head disappeared from behind the bay window of the playroom so I took a moment to clear my mind of the chaos. Seconds later, the little boy came charging out of the front door. He launched himself at me the moment I’d set foot outside out of the car.
‘Aunty Alice!’ came his excited shriek.
‘Hey, Charlie Bear,’ I said, catching his little body mid-flight after his leap from the third step. His sheer joy and happiness was contagious and it brought on my first genuine smile of the day, ‘it’s good to see you too.’
‘Oh.’ His huge olive-green eyes, so full of innocence, stared up at me from beneath furred brows and his smile slipped, ‘you have your blue eyes switched on.’
‘Does that matter?’ I asked, swallowing down the rock forming at the back of my throat. When I wasn’t hiding mine behind garish lenses, our eyes were one of the few things I had in common with my half-brother, except I couldn’t remember a time when mine had ever looked so clear. Not even at Charlie’s age if the few photos I’d managed to salvage were anything to go by.
‘I was going to ask you to play with me,’ he mumbled.
‘Well, go on then.’
Charlie blinked and the frown disappeared. ‘Can you play with me?’
‘Sure, I’d love to,’ I said brightly, ‘but I need to get changed first so give me five, yeah?’
Charlie’s expression took on a mischievous look and then contorted into one of total concentration. ‘One. Two. Three. Four. Five…time’s up.’
‘You little monkey.’ I tried to sound stern even though my grin matched his impish one, giving us something else in common. ‘That was great counting, Charlie, have you been practising?’
His eyes shone with pride. ‘I can say it in Spanish too. Do
