It’s not that simple. I can’t just—’
‘Are you going to let Charles down now, too?’
Too?
Wow, she was really working me over today. It wasn’t worth wasting my breath to argue with her when she was in this mood. She’d only throw every past misdemeanour at me, holding onto them tighter in a pathetic attempt to maintain some control over me. Like that had ever worked.
‘No, I said I’d do it.’ The irony was that I’d have agreed right away if she’d asked me nicely instead of manipulating me. I could think of far worse things than hanging out with Charlie for a couple of days, even though it meant calling in some major favours at work. Time spent with Charlie gave me a much-needed break from keeping up the mean girl act; a holiday of sorts where I wouldn’t have to keep my defences on red alert the whole time.
‘I should hope so too.’ Mum avoided meeting my eye and dipped her head to brush an imaginary speck of dust from her dress but her hairline lifted to betray her smirk. A thank you would have been nicer. ‘It’s the least you can do really, considering everything Derek has done for you?’
Ah yes. Derek, the almighty brother-in-law who was just as in the dark as Charlie about my heritage. I’d always wondered if he would have treated me differently or perhaps not let me get away with quite as much these past few years had he known he was my step-father? Alas, I’d never know. It was one of life’s unanswered conundrums that would most likely haunt me forever.
‘So what time are you leaving?’ I asked, trying not to sound too desperate to get away from her to regroup. Why did every conversation with her have to leave me feeling even more worthless than I’d started out?
‘Derek has sent a car for me.’ Mum flipped her wrist over to check her ridiculously expensive watch. ‘It should be here in ten minutes.’
‘Ten minutes?’ My arms tightened involuntarily around Charlie. If I got any more tense I was in danger of snapping my collar bone. ‘What would you have done with Charlie if I hadn’t come home in time?’
‘Oh I do wish you wouldn’t call him that, Alice. His name is Charles,’ she said, completely avoiding the question. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and finish packing. Charles, you be a good boy for Aunty Alice, won’t you?’
Aunty Alice, my arse.
‘Yes, Mummy.’
‘Good boy. Of course you will.’ She leaned in to plant a kiss on the top of his head then wandered back the way she’d come without saying another word to me. No instructions, no goodbye, nothing. The woman was unbelievable.
‘It’s just you and me then, Charlie Bear?’ I said, adding false cheer to my slightly raised voice, but if Mum heard me using the pet name then she didn’t rise to the bait. ‘What shall we do first?’
‘A picnic,’ he yelled, reaching for my face until we were nose to nose. ‘Please, please, please!’
I managed a laugh. ‘OK, you’re on—’
‘Hooray!’
‘But do you remember me saying I needed to get changed?’
‘Yes.’ His bony little shoulders slumped, along with his bottom lip.
‘Why don’t you grab your colouring book and some crayons and bring them up to my room?’
That perked him up. ‘Your room?’
‘Yeah, sure.’
‘Can I—’ He stopped speaking and darted a glance to the door, then leaned in close to my ear, lowering his voice to a whisper. ‘Can I look at your pictures instead?’
‘OK, Charlie,’ I whispered back. ‘But it has to stay our secret.’
‘Yay.’ He grinned and threw his arms around my neck again, squeezing me so tight I could barely draw breath but I didn’t mind.
I wordlessly hugged him back and closed my eyes against the sudden burning sensation that threatened to make them water. A comfortable peace settled around us, broken only by the sound of a suitcase being wheeled over a stone floor.
Not wanting a repeat performance, I took off for the stairs with Charlie still clinging onto my neck. Shoulders burning, my arms ached with the weight of him but I was just as incapable of putting him down as he seemed to be incapable of letting go. His grip relaxed the moment we reached my bedroom, astute kid, so I tossed him onto my bed and tickled him until he begged me to stop.
The break in sound revealed the low purr of an engine outside. Charlie hopped off the bed then ran over to the French windows that led out to my balcony. He looked longingly through the glass so I opened the doors wide and welcomed the gust of wind whipping around me, strong enough to lift my matted tangle of hair off my neck.
Charlie dived straight out onto the balcony and hopped up and down, unable to see over the top of the wall. Whether it was excitement at seeing the car or wanting to see Mum off, I wasn’t sure. Car doors clicked shut below and spurred me into action. I followed him out and picked him up again so he could wave furiously at the black limo headed for the main gate until it was far out of sight, taking our mother with it.
Satisfied the car had gone, Charlie wriggled in my arms to get down again so I set him on his feet and watched him wander back into my room. Unexpectedly alone, I closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh air, letting it fill my lungs. My favourite place in the whole house, the balcony provided the perfect escape from the austere confines of my ‘family’ home and served as a lookout point.
The outdoor space also gave me somewhere handy to smoke. Yet another one of my grand plans of triggering mum’s maternal instincts to backfire on me, and now I could add my education to the list of sacrifices and failed attempts to draw out my errant mother.
‘Can I see your pictures now?’
‘Hmm?’ I dragged myself back to the present and forced my eyes open to look down at the little boy who had slipped his hand around mine. ‘Oh yeah, sure thing.’
‘Excellent!’ Charlie led me into my room and over to my dresser, then let go of my hand. He knew the drill all too well. His excitement grew with each stage, making it harder and harder for him to stand still.
I shot him a wink and climbed onto my tiptoes to retrieve the miniature key from the back of my mirror, then doubled back to my bed with my little shadow in tow. ‘Hop up onto the bed then.’ I didn’t need to tell him twice but it took him two goes to get up, needing a bit of a boost from me as I got down onto my hands and knees on the floor.
Charlie peered over the edge, grinning down at me as he watched me reach under the bed to drag my old school trunk out. His eyes grew wider still when I opened my hand and offered him the key.
‘Do you want to do the honours, Charlie Bear?’
‘Can I? Can I really?’ Already flat on his belly, he instantly spun around and thrust himself over the edge, feet first, to connect with the side of my head, eliciting my sharp gasp before I could stop it from escaping. Charlie slithered down to the floor and crouched down beside me. His bottom
