for the paper in Renee’s hand, said, “Let’s get this show on the road. I have a horse coming in an hour.”
“You can go if you like,” Renee offered and was mildly surprised when he frowned in response. “If you’re in a hurry…”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You implied.”
He started to say something but then thought better of it and snapped his mouth shut. “Perhaps I did.”
Renee smiled down at Taylor. “Let’s go find your teacher, shall we?”
She didn’t wait for John nor did she try to convince Alexis to let her walk her to class, as well. She knew her daughter well enough to know any attempt at this point would be rudely rebuffed. She’d have to let Alexis come to her. She fought back a well of fear when she considered the very real possibility that that day might never come and instead focused on the happy start she was being granted with her middle daughter.
JOHN WATCHED AS RENEE LED Taylor to her new classroom. To look at them one would never guess their circumstances. Renee looked every part the doting mother, her eyes fairly shone with love and adoration that John was almost apt to believe, if not for the reminder of Renee’s defection standing beside him wearing a fierce scowl.
“She seems to be trying,” John noted, almost to himself but it was really directed toward Alexis. She took the bait quite readily.
Alexis snorted. “My mom used to want to be an actress. You shouldn’t believe a word she says. She’s a good liar.” And then she adjusted her pack and stomped in the direction of her new classroom.
An actress? It shocked him but then again…it didn’t. She was sure pretty enough to fill a big screen. That blond-hair-blue-eye combination was a killer. Not to mention those curves…John shifted on the balls of his feet wondering where his mind was going and who gave it permission to wander like that.
Renee returned a short time later, a warm glow suffusing her expression that was nearly contagious.
“She settled in all right?” he asked.
“Yeah. I think she’s going to have fun. Taylor has an adventurous spirit. She’s game for anything that can hook her interest. But then you’ve probably already figured that out about her.”
He had. It was one of Taylor’s more endearing qualities. “She’s got a sharp mind. I think school will be a good challenge for her.”
Renee nodded and they walked out the front doors. The children quickly dispersed as they ran to their individual classes when the bell rang. Once at their vehicles, John climbed into his truck and then stopped to call out to Renee.
“Yeah?” she asked, her brow furrowing subtly as she regarded him warily.
“If you’re still interested in the job, I suppose it’s available.”
“You’re saying that you’re willing to hire me to help out with my kids?” There was a sparkle in her eyes that he couldn’t help but catch and it made him bite back what he might’ve said to her clever comment. She didn’t give him a chance to rescind the offer and quickly jumped. “Sounds perfect. When can I move in?”
John startled at the gooseflesh that rioted up and down his arm. He swallowed. Moving in. It created a wealth of imagery that made his heartbeat thud painfully. Scowling, he said, “Since you’re in an all-fired hurry, I suppose Friday is fine.”
“Friday?” Her expression fell. “But it’s only Monday. I was hoping—”
“I know what you were hoping but the guesthouse won’t be ready for anyone until then. It’s the soonest I can accommodate you into my schedule. It should go without saying that I still have a job to do and it doesn’t include making room for yet another Dolling. You get me? Take it or leave it.”
He winced privately at how surly he sounded. Damn, if he didn’t sound like a cantankerous old fart but she rubbed him the wrong way in the worst way. She had no business looking the way she did and coming around as if she was pretending to care when John knew full well she hadn’t cared when it mattered to those little girls. Right? Ah, great. Talking to yourself now, he mentally chastised himself. John’s lips pressed against one another and he figured that was the smartest thing he could do at this point—keep his damn mouth shut.
“Friday, 8 a.m. sharp. Don’t be late.” He slammed the truck door, eager to get the hell away from her and his confused thoughts.
Chapter Seven
RENEE RETURNED TO THE HOTEL, her mind buzzing and her heart full of hope for the future. Taylor was the key to breaching the wall Alexis had built around them. She didn’t blame Alexis for her attitude even if it hurt. Of all the kids, Alexis remembered many details that were lost to Taylor and unknown to Chloe. Renee rubbed her palm across her stinging eyes and fought back the bad memories that always threatened to surface when she wasn’t being vigilant enough.
The fights. The screaming. And the alcohol. Always a lot of that around the Dolling house. It became her way of coping with a failed life and living with a man she didn’t love any longer. She’d had such big dreams as a kid. But Jason Dolling had been persuasive and her hormones had been listening. She couldn’t regret everything that happened during their life together. Her girls were the shining example that even when everything else was going to shit, there was always something to be grateful for.
She wished she could take every bad memory from her daughter’s mind but that wasn’t an option. All she could do was be there and promise their lives would be different. And that was something she could do without reservation.
Getting sober hadn’t been the easiest thing in the world but she’d had really solid motivation. She never tried to compare her journey to that of others because they’re never the same or even comparable. Renee had definitely come to appreciate that old saying, Never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes, because when she’d made the decision to get sober at first it was natural to assume others had it easier or harder, take your pick, but she’d learned quickly not to judge. She’d seen lawyers and doctors sitting side by side with drug addicts and no one had it easy.
She’d been no different—and no worse.
But to explain to a child the reasons why her mother left…were there words in the English language that would ever convey the reason in a way a child would understand? Renee didn’t know but she desperately wanted to find out. Alexis was her soldier, her first born. She’d bonded to that girl from the moment she came screaming into the world, her lusty squall a balm to Renee’s young heart, the calm in the storm that surrounded her and Jason.
Taylor was the let’s-try-and-save-the-marriage baby. And by the time Chloe arrived…well, the marriage had been over before she was conceived. Yet, Renee had stayed. Drinking her failure away with her two solid friends, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam and the occasional visit by Captain Morgan on holidays.
So many bad choices. A lifetime, really. Was she poised at the precipice of yet another bad Renee Dolling decision? She just wanted her kids back so they could get back to their lives.
But then what? Her chest tightened with panic and uncertainty. She’d been so focused on finding the girls she didn’t actually have a plan as to where they’d go from there.
