the way he made her wish this kiss would never end.
She rubbed her thumb against the base of his neck in a small circle and felt his heartbeat quicken. She took her time spreading her fingers out and enjoying the feel of his scalp under her hand, until she shifted forward and forced his head to the side, where she could take more control of their embrace.
But it was no longer about power or winning. Now she was kissing him because the taste of him was addictive. She’d never forget this one moment for years to come; she knew it with bone-deep certainty. The way he felt with just her hands in his hair and her lips on his. The way his tongue felt deep in her mouth as the smell of his aftershave surrounded her.
The dreams and desires she’d forced aside for too long came rushing up to her and she saw a chance to have everything she’d ever wanted. A man who could make her feel real desire and an out to walk away from the gaming world once and for all. All she’d have to do was give up everything she’d made herself into as an adult.
She’d have to lose to Allan. She’d have to show him that she could be vulnerable, and she’d have to admit it all out loud.
She sucked his lower lip into her mouth and bit down, and then rubbed her tongue over it to soothe it. She didn’t think she could do that. But when she felt his hands tightening in her hair for a moment and a low groan issued from the back of his throat, she realized she might not have to.
He pulled his mouth from hers. She opened her eyes to look up into his intense gaze, and shook from what she saw there. He might want to pretend that she was nothing more than an old enemy to him, but the truth was there in those dilated pupils and in the flush across his cheekbones.
She almost cursed out loud as she realized there was no winner in this. No outcome that could be decided other than the truth. She was attracted to him. And though she’d hoped that maybe kissing him would distract her from the lonely feeling in her soul, it hadn’t worked. In fact, she really wanted to just curl up next to him and forget about challenges and the world outside, and take some comfort in his arms.
If he hadn’t made this a contest and if she’d been a different sort of woman—the kind who was okay being emotional and needy—then she’d be able to just rest her head on his shoulder and admit that she hadn’t ever felt this scared and alone before.
“So...” he said. “That was more than I expected.”
“Me, too,” she admitted. “I guess we underestimated how much we’d enjoy each other.”
“I sure did. Tonight especially, I...I enjoyed kissing you, Jessi.”
“Me, too, Allan. I don’t think you’re my archnemesis anymore.”
“That’s good. So what are we going to do about this? Is it just grief? Did we turn to each other because our friends are gone?”
She shrugged. A part of her wanted to say yes and make this about the tragedy that had brought them both together. But she knew that would be a lie. And lying even to herself was something she didn’t like to do.
“I really don’t know,” she admitted.
“Me, either. I have always been able to... Never mind. The real question is what are we going to do about it?”
She didn’t have an answer. There wasn’t a clear solution. He had surprised her and made her realize that there was more to this man than she’d previously thought. Because if he’d been all ego, then he would have swaggered away from her. But he was sitting across from her, looking just as perplexed as she was.
Four
It was humid and breezy as they stepped off the plane at the Dare County Airport in Manteo, North Carolina. Unlike the Los Angeles area, where everything was either developed or part of the desert, North Carolina—and especially the Outer Banks—was made up of small villages surrounded by state-owned land that had been preserved to keep this part of the world wild.
As the breeze flattened her shirt to her breasts, Allan was transfixed for a second by the sheer beauty of Jessi. Who’d have guessed that she would be a femme fatale without even trying? He fiddled with the strap on his overnight bag to distract himself.
But there was no distraction from Jessi. Her perfume danced on the wind and wrapped around his senses as he stood there in the eerie predawn light.
“Thanks for the lift,” she said in that smart-ass way of hers that signaled the truce they’d sort of reached on the plane was over.
“You’re welcome. It was an enjoyable flight,” he said.
“Whatever. I figured I’d stay at Patti and John’s bed-and-breakfast until we go home,” she said.
“Fawkes has taken care of all the arrangements. The staff has canceled new arrivals, and when I spoke to the caretaker, he said there were only two couples left at the resort and that they would be leaving today.”
“I guess that’s one less thing to worry about,” she said. “I’m more than ready to talk to their attorney and do whatever we need to do. Patti’s mother isn’t going to be much help...since she’s ill.”
Allan understood that Patti’s mom, Amelia Pearson, was in the second stage of Alzheimer’s-related dementia, but John had told him to keep it quiet, since Patti hadn’t wanted anyone to know. He saw how thinking about Amelia’s condition affected Jessi. Her shoulders were stooped for a second and he imagined it was from the burden of knowing that your best friend’s own mother might not be able to mourn her.
“As soon as we see the attorney this morning we’ll know more,” he said. It wasn’t something he was looking forward to, but at least Allan already knew a lot about John’s wishes for the future. His friend had always been very loquacious and liked to share his dreams once he’d met and married Patti.
“I don’t get why they wanted to live here,” Jessi said. She glanced around the small airport. “I mean, it’s nice enough to get away from the bustle of L.A. once in a while, but all the time? I don’t think I could do it,” she said. “It’s going to take us over an hour to get to their place on Hatteras.”
“I know, and my cell phone signal stinks. I think Kell is probably going to disown me if I don’t check in, and I’ve only got one bar,” Allan said.
Jessi pulled her iPhone out of her pocket and glanced at the screen. “I’ve got almost two bars...want to use mine?”
He looked at her. As an olive branch gesture it was almost remarkable. She’d never offered him anything before. He tucked that fact away in the back of his mind to analyze later as he nodded at her.
“I have his number preprogrammed. He’s listed under Darth Sucks-A-Lot,” Jessi said as she handed the phone over.
Allan turned away to keep her from seeing the smile that spread across his face. He couldn’t wait to tell Dec, who would think Jessi’s tag for Kell was funny. “Don’t let him see that. He hates Star Wars.”
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