if I bribed you with one of Phoebe Hawkins’s red velvet cupcakes from Cup O’ Jo’s? Smothered in chocolate frosting?”
“A cupcake? And my favorite? You’re not playing fair.”
“When have I ever?” he tossed back with a wink.
Tessa knew he was right. She tended to overanalyze every situation, and this one was a humdinger. There were things a woman could change and things she couldn’t, and there was no sense worrying about what was out of her control. At the end of the day, the good Lord had the final say. That’s what she often told the girls she was counseling, and yet now she was struggling to take her own advice.
Emerson’s Hardware, only a few minutes from Redemption Ranch, was located on Main Street, right next door to Cup O’ Jo’s Café. All of Main Street looked like something out of an old Western movie, with colorful clapboard siding and old-fashioned signs dangling in front of the stores.
While Marcus dawdled in the hardware section, Tessa wandered over to gardening to see what was new. Living in the girls’ bunkhouse as she did, she had neither the place nor the time for a garden, but she imagined that someday, when she had a home of her own, she’d enjoy planting vegetables and spending quiet time landscaping with flowers around the place.
When she had a home of her own.
Realistically, was that ever going to happen?
What a difference a day made, if that day meant Cole Bishop had walked back into her life. Even the thought of having a family now tore at her heart. What was once a pleasant, if distant, dream of the future had suddenly become a nightmare. She hadn’t realized until she’d seen him again that he’d still been part of her vision. His face had never been replaced by another.
Shaking her head to dislodge her sadness, she found Marcus at the register, where he was wrapping up his purchase.
Edward Emerson, an older man dressed in the same bib overalls as the two men slouched in the wooden rocking chairs just outside the door, smiled at her as she approached.
“Hey, Tessa. Good to see you. Can you do me a favor and tell Cole the feed he ordered is loaded in his truck and ready to go whenever he is?”
“I...I don’t—” she stammered, but Edward went on as if she hadn’t spoken.
“If I’m not mistaken, he’s at Cup O’ Jo’s showing off that new baby of his. Cute little tyke. Bald as a cue ball.” Edward chuckled.
Tessa inhaled sharply. Cole’s son was an infant. Her stomach churned like a combine at hearing the news, creating a whole new set of aches. Her thoughts flew together like a tornado picking up everything in its path. Thoughts that didn’t belong together but still tore through her. Her failure with Savannah was too recent, and Savannah’s baby was never far from her mind. She’d once thought she’d be the one bearing Cole’s children. But now Cole had a son of his own, and his and Tessa’s lives were completely separated.
She had to pull herself together, and fast. Cole had just become a father, and he’d come back to settle down. It made perfect sense. He had moved on, and so had she. And yet she had no desire to find Cole right now, not when it meant she was going to have to meet his family. She was so not prepared for that moment. Not right now.
Not ever.
“We’d be glad to,” Marcus answered for her, giving her a friendly nudge with his shoulder.
“I’m not ready,” she whispered hoarsely as they exited the store. “Did you hear that? Cole’s son is a baby. I can’t— It’s not—”
Marcus knew about Savannah, understood about Cole, and she could tell from his gaze that he knew where all her thoughts were flying. He reached for her elbow and pulled her to a stop on the clapboard sidewalk.
“Better now than later, Tessa,” he insisted. “It’s not gonna get any easier for you if you wait on this thing. I know you. You’ll noodle it over and over again until you’ve built it into a giant issue. In a situation like this, the best thing you can do is face your fear and rip it off like a bandage. It’ll hurt less in the long run.”
She made a face at him. “When did you become so smart?”
He laughed. “I’m an expert, remember? I have the degree hangin’ on my wall to prove it.”
She sighed. She hated to admit it, but Marcus was probably right. Might as well get it over with now. She couldn’t avoid Cole and his family forever.
Even so, she hesitated a beat at the entrance to the café.
“Bandage,” Marcus reminded her, using his palm to press her forward from the small of her back.
The inside of Cup O’ Jo’s was a stark contrast to the outside. Filled with the delicious scents of home-style cooking and fresh pastries, the whole place had the look and feel of a modern coffee shop. There were even computers lining the back wall so folks could access the internet.
It was immediately obvious where Cole and his family were located. Practically everyone in the café hovered around one of the middle tables, their exclamations ranging from “Ooh” and “Aww” to “What a little cutie-pie” and “Sweet darlin’.”
Jo Spencer, the owner of the café, looked up and waved Tessa and Marcus over. Her red curls bobbed as she placed a hand over her heart and bounced on her toes.
“Cole’s back in town,” she said, her voice rising with excitement. “And my stars. Have you seen Baby Grayson?”
Tessa nodded to acknowledge the fact that she knew Cole was back in town and then shook her head. “I haven’t met Grayson yet.”
“Come, come,” Jo insisted, dragging Tessa by the hand. Tessa shot a flustered glance over her shoulder, but Marcus just shrugged and grinned, mouthing the word bandage.
Insensitive jerk. He was going to be no help at all.
Now that she was under Jo’s guidance, Tessa knew she had no hope whatsoever of backing out of the situation. There was no arguing with the woman once the vivacious old lady got something into her head.
Besides, what would Tessa say? That she didn’t want to see the baby?
How would that sound? Everyone loved babies.
She did, too, of course. It was this particular baby at this exact time she was struggling with. Her emotions were screaming for her to flee. She didn’t think her heart could stand glimpsing the infant who was bound to carry at least some of Cole’s strong features. And was the child’s mother present? That would cause Tessa even more heartache.
Marcus was wrong. She wasn’t ready yet, and getting caught in a situation where she might break down emotionally wasn’t ripping off the bandage. It was creating a whole new wound.
Panic welled in her chest, and her pulse pounded in her temple.
Not yet. Not yet. Not yet, it echoed.
The crowd parted like the Red Sea in front of Moses as she approached, probably half out of deference to Jo and half due to the distinct
