her interactions with Grayson, the rest of it was all an act. She didn’t want to be here any more than he wanted her to be.
They were at the mother of all standoffs, unable to back down even if they wanted to. Living in the same small town. Working at the same ranch. The never-ending possibility of being thrown together at social events.
Would it ever get any easier for him to be around her? Would he ever not hurt when he looked at her?
The plethora of emotions he was experiencing today, battling through him with a vengeance, were just as mercilessly and excruciatingly painful as they had been when he’d first seen Tessa in the Haddons’ office. It was all he could do to stay put and keep his game face on. Pretty much every nerve in his body was screaming to snatch Grayson up and head for the hills as fast as his legs would carry him.
That ought to set tongues to wagging.
Tessa had broken his heart so completely that he had burned through the stages of grief not once, but every single year since that day. For years, the first Saturday of June had tortured him with memories—only now it was far worse than just a recollection.
Tessa was sitting there alive and in person, right in line with his gaze, rocking his baby, looking exactly the way he’d always pictured she would when they started a family together.
Jo was right. Tessa was a natural mama if there ever was one—but then, Cole had always known she would be.
Only Grayson wasn’t her baby.
And Cole couldn’t stand one more second of this torture. He had to get out now, before his emotions got the better of him. Because the only thing worse than what he was feeling right now would be for Tessa—not to mention the whole community gathered around him—to see just how far he had fallen.
“Time to give my little cowboy a diaper change,” he muttered. Anything to get the baby out of Tessa’s arms. He reached for Grayson, intending to make a quick exit, but Jo was too fast for him.
“Now wait just one moment, dear. I’m ashamed to say we don’t yet have a portable changing table in the men’s restroom. Never even gave it a second thought until now. I promise y’all that particular item has just been bumped to the top of my to-do list.”
“Oh. I—uh—” After seven weeks he would have thought he could work out simple issues like this, but he kept stumbling upon new ones. Where did a single man change a baby’s diaper in a small-town café?
During the first few weeks, when he’d been settling the legal paperwork between him and the baby’s mother, he’d lodged with a navy buddy, Emilio Gonzalez, and his wife, Ella. He’d appreciated spending time with Ella, who was an experienced mother of six and a wonderful, patient teacher. Having a woman’s touch around was invaluable, in more ways than he cared to count. Truthfully, he’d let poor Ella do much of the work. He realized in hindsight that he should have been throwing himself into learning the ropes as he had in the navy. Watching and doing were hardly the same thing.
Cole sighed inwardly. Grayson would be better off if he had a woman’s influence in his life, and Cole silently acknowledged that he needed the help. But that was not reality for him and Grayson, and it might not ever be. He was on his own, and he’d never felt as powerless as he did in that moment, with everyone’s eyes on him.
A little help here, Lord, he prayed silently.
“You don’t have to leave on account of Gray’s diaper,” Jo assured him. “The ladies’ room is fully equipped. Tessa, would you do the honors? Where’s your diaper bag, son?” She directed her first question to Tessa and her second to Cole. Her eyes were sparkling with mischief and Cole cringed. Good ol’ Jo, ever the matchmaker.
He pointed to the giraffe-print bag on a nearby table. Jo dug through the bag for a diaper and wipes while Cole shifted his gaze to Tessa. She looked like a cornered wild animal, her eyes darting around the room as if looking for a quick way to escape.
In any other situation, he might have found the whole thing amusing, but there was not one single thing funny about having to share breathing space with Tessa, much less having her commandeer his baby, even if it was only for a diaper change.
“You’ve never changed a baby before?” he guessed, his lips quirking. Even on her worst day, she couldn’t be half as inept as he’d been his first few go-rounds, but he would shoot himself before he ever admitted that aloud.
Her auburn eyebrows hit her hairline. “It...it’s not that. I don’t mind changing Grayson for you. I’ve had my fair share of experience handling babies now and again. I was just wondering—that is—is your wife around? I don’t think we’ve met.”
Of course. Tessa didn’t know he wasn’t married. He’d hoped that particular tidbit would make its way around town and he’d never have to encounter that question. It was just like Tessa to have avoided the gossip. He wondered what people were saying, exactly. Folks were going to make all the wrong assumptions unless he set them straight. In a down-home, conservative little Texas town like Serendipity, things were done right and in the proper order.
First comes love, then comes marriage, and then comes the baby in the baby carriage.
Only that’s not how it had been for Cole. To his everlasting shame, Grayson wasn’t the product of love or marriage. That didn’t mean Cole didn’t love his son with all his heart. Grayson was far and away the biggest blessing God had ever given him. He had such awe and wonder about this new little human being. The curve of Grayson’s ears, his fingers and toes, the way the baby already responded to Cole’s voice in the dead of night when it was just the two of them awake and rocking to a lullaby.
It might not have happened the way he would have planned, but it had happened, and being a father to Grayson was Cole’s new mission, more important than anything he’d done in the navy. More important than anything he’d ever done in his life.
He was not proud of how he’d gotten to this point, but he was proud of being here, of being Grayson’s father. As for his son’s mother...
“I’m not married,” he admitted softly, sliding his chair closer to hers so they wouldn’t be overheard.
Tessa’s brow rose again, and Cole frowned. She didn’t have to gape. This didn’t bode well for how the rest of the town was going to take the news.
“I see,” she murmured.
No, she didn’t. She hadn’t a clue about the man he’d become. He wasn’t the bright-eyed kid who’d dated her all through high school. Not even close.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said.
“I’m sorry.” Her tone was punctuated with bitterness. “I had no right to ask.”
She was taking it personally. This wasn’t personal. It had nothing to do with her at all. “You couldn’t have known.”
“I’ll just— Let me go take care of his diaper real fast for you, and then you can have the baby back,” she stammered.
He watched her make a quick exit into the ladies’ room, the sweet, fruity scent of her perfume lingering behind her. He blew out a frustrated breath and threaded his fingers through his hair.
He was quick to acknowledge
