her mamma. ‘I’ll take you.’
‘What? No. No. No, don’t be silly. It’s fine. I can drive. I just need …’ she fished her phone out again ‘… to call a decent car hire place … or something.’
Wrapping his arms around her, he took the phone from her hands, gave her a hug that she clearly didn’t know what to do with but accepted anyway. And he was probably doing this all wrong and sending the wrong message, but he couldn’t stand here and watch her sink. She was too proud for that. ‘You are upset. Look, you’re shaking. You shouldn’t drive. Let me take you?’
She shook her head vehemently. ‘No, it’s too much to ask anyone. This is my problem, not yours. Besides, it’s a hell of a long way, a good four hours’ drive on a Friday night—more, probably, the traffic’s usually a nightmare. You can’t do it there and back in one go, not after a long day. And don’t you have plans for tomorrow? A rugby game you sold your soul to the devil for or something?’
He hugged her to him, as he would have any friend who was suffering, trying through his actions to say what he wasn’t yet ready to say in words. Hell, he didn’t know what he was trying to say.
‘It’s rugby. We will win. It will be over in eighty minutes. This is more important.’ You are more important, was what he actually thought. The shock of that shuddered through him. He didn’t know her. He didn’t like her, goddamn. Okay. So he could probably admit to liking her when she wasn’t being a prim lawyer chasing his ass. Literally.
She spun out of his arms, looking embarrassed and flustered and about as far from a prim lawyer as anyone could get. ‘And what about Joey and your other patients? They need you here.’
‘I told you, the on-call team is fabulous—the best in the city. In fact, Dave Marshall taught me everything I know about renal surgery. So they’re all in the best hands. It is fine. Really. I’m not due at work until Monday as it is, and I’m only a phone call away.’ And he should have heeded the warning bells again then, but he didn’t. Should have remembered the last time he’d allowed a woman to invade his life and his heart—and then plundered it and smashed it into tiny pieces and thrown it into the trash. The betrayal. The double whammy of hurt.
But this was different. Ivy needed help and he could give it to her. What kind of a man did otherwise?
IT WAS LATE and dark when they arrived at the hospital, after a long journey where Ivy had felt herself withdraw into her worries. But Matteo had kept a constant stream of trivial conversation to dredge an occasional smile and for that she was grateful.
Now she knew he liked rugby more than football. That he preferred bottled beer to wine. That he’d had his wisdom teeth removed when he was twenty. Nothing deeper than that. But it had been enough. More than enough to keep her from going out of her mind with concern.
He pulled up outside the entrance, a hand on her knee as he spoke. ‘I’ll find a parking spot. You go in, I’ll find you.’
‘She’ll be in the cardiac ward, I imagine. Or High Dependency or something … I’ll ask at Reception. Perhaps I should text you?’ She went for her phone in her bag. Did she have his number?
He put his hand on hers and gave her a smile that went bone deep. ‘Ivy, I know my way around a hospital. I’ll find you. Go.’
‘Of course. Yes. Yes.’ What was wrong with her? One stolen kiss and she’d been reduced to fluff. Her brain wasn’t functioning. Maybe it was the worry about her mum …
After she watched him pull away she went to find her mother, feeling empty and bewildered, her own heart bruised and broken enough too. There was so much between them that needed to be said, that she wanted to fix but wanted to avoid at all costs.
The hospital corridors were silent as she walked to the reception desk, a grey-haired lady pointing her in the direction of Cardiac Care. Darkness outside the windows penetrated her heart. She’d been talking about her mum and then something bad had happened. What did that mean?
She didn’t want to rail at her, to blame her for the crappy upbringing she’d had—it was too late for that. All Ivy had ever wanted was recognition that she was important in her mother’s life. But, in the end, she supposed, it didn’t matter a jot. Ivy’s mother was important to her and if love only went one way, then so be it. It was too late for recriminations.
One of the nurses greeted her and showed her to her mother’s bed with a stern warning to be quick and quiet.
‘Ivy.’ Her mum looked frail and old, lying on pale green sheets that leached colour from her cheeks. Tubes and wires stuck out from under the blanket, attached to a monitor that bleeped at reassuringly regular intervals. A tube piped oxygen into her nostrils, but she sucked in air too, pain etched across her features. ‘Thank you for coming, I said not to bother you. I know you’re busy—too busy to have to come all this way to see your old mum.’
‘Mum, you’ve had a heart attack—since when was that not enough to bring me to see you?’ Guilt ripped through Ivy, as she’d known it would. It was what happened every time she saw her mum—whatever Ivy had done it had never been enough to make her mother love her and she just didn’t know how to make things better. She gave her a hug, which was always difficult, and this time it was hindered by the tubes. Movement made her mother’s monitor beep, and consequently made Ivy’s heart pound—loudly—and so she quickly let go. The space between them seemed to stretch.
‘How are you feeling?’
‘Lousy.’ Breathless and wheezing, her mum settled back down and the beeping stopped. ‘I had … an angioplasty. They’ve cleared the occlusion … put in a stent … so I just need a short stay in here … then do some rehab … as an out-patient.’
It was fixable. Just faulty plumbing. Relief flooded through her as she held her mum’s hand. But once again she felt very much like their roles had been reversed, that she was the one taking the care, being the parent. ‘That’s great news. I was … I was worried about you.’
‘Thanks, love. I’m glad you came. You’re all I’ve got now. Can you stay … you know, a while?’
Responsibility tugged Ivy in every direction. Her job, everything, could be put on hold. Couldn’t it? She’d only been there a few weeks—but they’d understand. Wouldn’t they? She had a nagging sensation that things weren’t going to be easy, that she’d have to fight to take time off—time she hadn’t yet earned. And she had that upcoming sexual harassment case that was so important for everyone involved. She needed to be in London all clued up for that.
And she needed to be here with her mum. Someone who had never been there for her. Maybe she could trust the case to a junior? Maybe she could teleconference with them all. Maybe, surely, they’d understand? What would happen if they didn’t? She didn’t want to contemplate that. She’d finally got her dream job, and now … She looked at her mum, frail and anxious. ‘I’ll stay here with you as long as you need, Mum.’
‘I’d appreciate it. I don’t have anyone else.’
‘You have me.’ Even though it had never seemed enough. ‘Is there anything you need? Once they have you settled …’
‘I’ve
