an unhealthy home environment. Take my word for it, living in an armed camp would be construed as unhealthy.”
Trent pursed his lips and nodded, knowing Ed walked a fine line being both his counsel and friend. “I was only going to say not to expect me to be home every night. I’ll have to keep the apartment in the city. Late-night meetings and long drives home aren’t a good combination, especially if you add long workdays and icy streets in the winter.”
“You two can work out the details, but I’d advise you to think about cutting those long hours at least a little. And Maggie, what do you intend to do about your job? Have you thought about it at all?”
“I enjoy my work and the challenge it presents, but I think four children under the age of nine will be challenge enough for some time to come, don’t you?”
Trent couldn’t believe his ears. Maggie loved her job. Even when they’d been trying to have a child of their own, she’d never intended to give up her career completely. “But you worked so hard to get where you are,” he said, not understanding how she could have reached her apparent decision so quickly. “I can’t let you give all that up. You need to think this through. We’ll hire someone to help with the children. Mike and I had a nanny until I went away to school.”
“I’m not averse to hiring someone to help with housework and cooking, but not a nanny. You and your brother hadn’t lost your parents, and considering the ones you had, a nanny was probably the best thing to ever happen to you. These children have lost the most important people in their lives, and they’re going to need all the love and attention they can get for a good long time. I intend to be there to give it to them. It’s a done deal, Trent. I already resigned before I left the office yesterday.”
Trent stiffened. Why didn’t she seem upset by the sacrifice of a career that had taken over a decade to build? Because it isn’t a sacrifice! He’d lost his brother, but she had just been handed everything she’d always wanted on a silver platter. “A house in the country. Children. And me. This is just perfect for you, isn’t it?” he sneered. “A real win-win situation.”
“Trent!” Ed gasped.
Trent lost control of all he’d felt in the past twentyfour hours. Deaf to the outrage in his friend’s voice and blind to the horror written on Maggie’s lovely features, he let it all boil forth—the pain, the anguish, the confusion. “You were awfully sure of what my decision would be regarding Mike’s kids. Suppose I’d decided to take them myself and hire a nanny.”
Pale and shaken, Maggie squared her shoulders. “I wasn’t at all sure what you’d decide to do. I was only sure that I’d do what Sarah and Michael wanted me to do—which was be a mother to their children. Nothing and no one is going to stop me from fulfilling that promise. Not even you. And for the record, both Sarah and Michael were a very important part of my life. I grew up with Sarah as a sister. They were the only friends who stood by me these last months. I’ve lost, too, Trent. You aren’t the only one grieving.”
Ed stood, his anger obvious. “I think I’ll go keep Rachel company. Distract her. Work this out between you. I won’t be surprised if Royce and Albertine sail in here any minute now, so you probably don’t have a lot of time. Trent, you have to find a way to put the past aside and look toward the future. This kind of atmosphere will destroy those kids. And your parents aren’t stupid. They’ll spot any lingering animosity from a mile away and then figure out a way to prove it’s there to a judge. Talk this out…and fast.”
Trent suddenly felt as if the weight of the world were pressing down on his shoulders. He sank into the chair Ed had vacated next to Maggie. Elbows on his knees he stared at his hands. He couldn’t even believe he’d thought those things of Maggie, let alone said them. Overwhelmed by the magnitude of all that had happened, his eyes filled. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”
“And I’m sorry for all that’s happened,” she whispered. Maggie moved to sit in front of him on a small glass coffee table. She took his hands between hers. He closed his eyes, absorbing the feelings her touch evoked—the comfort, the closeness, the need. He didn’t feel so alone now. “I know how much you loved Michael,” she went on. “And Sarah. And I know it’s terribly hard to deal with us on top of your grief. But we have to. We’re the adults in this situation, and those kids are counting on us. Michael and Sarah are, too.”
Trent nodded. “I know. It’s just so hard to even think clearly right now. I really didn’t mean what I said.”
“It’s true that I’ve prayed and prayed for the Lord to find a way to bring us back together. I told you that just last week, so I can’t deny it. But not like this, Trent. Never like this. Believe me, if living alone on some mountaintop for the rest of my life and never seeing you again would bring those two strolling through that door over there, I’d have started packing yesterday. But life just doesn’t always come with room for bargaining.”
Deeply ashamed of his outburst, Trent nodded. “I truly didn’t mean it. Any of it. You know that, don’t you? I don’t even know why I said it.” He looked up into Maggie’s sad smile.
“You said it because you’re hurting. You only get angry when you’re hurting,” she told him and squeezed his hands. He could almost have sworn he felt strength flow from her to him. “Try to think of them happy in heaven. It’ll help.”
Trent blinked, startled. “You really believe that?”
“Oh, yes.” She smiled again in that sad, sort of wistful way, but it was a smile nonetheless. Where did her strength come from?
Could it be from God? “It’s what Mike believed, I know.” Trent stared at their hands but his thoughts were of Mike. He’d gotten deeply into religion and his church. He’d always been a little weak—religion was sort of a crutch, after all. It had changed Mike for the better, though. There was no denying that. What this Jesus thing had done for his little brother was nothing short of a miracle, but Trent didn’t need a miracle. He was intelligent, responsible and a success in the business world. But then, so was Maggie. So how had she gotten sucked into that church of theirs?
“Maybe we don’t have to deal with our situation right now, after all,” Maggie suggested. “For now, let’s just deal with the logistics of the changes we need to make in our lives, and take care of what the kids need.”
Not him for a father, that was for sure, Trent thought. “Maggie, I won’t be a father to those kids. I’m their uncle and I love them like an uncle. I’ll support them financially. I’ll be to them what I always have been, but I won’t try to be their father. I’ll come to the house at night when I can. Spend Saturdays doing the suburban home-owner routine when I’m not away on business. But that’s it. Don’t ask for more. Because more just isn’t in me.”
Maggie took his face between her hands. “You just be the best uncle you know how to be, and it’ll be better than most kids get in a father. I know it’ll be better than what you and Michael had. That’s for sure. And I promise to be here to help any way you need me.”
Trent stared into her eyes, humbled as always. Maggie had always had a bottomless well of confidence in him. In fact, she’d left him because he’d refused to try to live up to her expectations. He hoped she was right. He hoped he could give the kids enough as their uncle. Because he was trapped. And as always, Mike was counting on him.
Grief, stunning and overwhelming, suddenly crashed in on him, crushing him. Maggie’s form blurred as tears filled his eyes. Trent instinctively blinked them back, but something drove him to reach for Maggie, pulling
