you ever tell her that she has a dad who loves her? That she has a family who misses her?”
“Not until recently.” She brushed a hand across her eyes. “I think she knew. She would question me sometimes, like she had some memories of being here.”
“I don’t even know what to say to you right now.” Blake ground out the words. Jana shivered and hugged herself tight, wishing that she could take back every last moment of the ten years they’d been apart. She wished she could undo what she’d done to all of them.
Eventually she would explain to him what had happened to her. Now wasn’t the time. The car zoomed along the highway. Jana looked out at passing fields, searching for the right words to make this situation better.
“I hope someday you’ll forgive me, Blake. And I hope Lindsey will forgive me.” She sighed and allowed herself to look at him.
“I can forgive you, Jana. I’ve had a lot of years to work on forgiveness. I can’t say that I’ll ever trust you again. And I definitely won’t let you leave the country with her.”
“Understood.”
“I’ll have her passport frozen.”
“I know. Blake, I’m here. I know it will take you time to trust me, but I’m not leaving with her. If we can help her...” She covered her face with her hands as the tears unleashed again. “If...”
“Not if.” His tone softened and she felt a handkerchief being pushed into her hand. “We’ll get her through this.”
“I’m praying you’re right.”
“Oh, you pray now? I guess...” He stopped, sighed. “I think we’ll both have to do a lot of praying.”
“I want you to know her, Blake. I want to stay here so that you can build a relationship with her.” Life, she realized, was precious. Her daughter deserved a relationship with Blake. With all of the Coopers.
“So, after nearly eleven years, I’ll get weekends and maybe a couple of weeks in the summer?”
“Can you give me a chance?” She wiped at her eyes with the handkerchief. “Don’t expect me to know every step we’ll take from here. I want you to have a relationship with Lindsey. It’s important. Life is too fragile to go on like this.”
“You can stay in the guesthouse at the main ranch.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. “And just give her time. She doesn’t know you. And before you say anything, I know that’s my fault. But please, give her time to know you, to know your family.”
They drove on in silence. Soon they were driving through the crowded, rush hour streets of Tulsa, headed toward the hospital.
“Does she know that you came to get me?” Blake asked as they parked.
“No. I didn’t know what to tell her.”
“You need to think of something. ‘Surprise, here’s your dad’ isn’t going to work.”
“I know. She does know we’re here because her family is in this area. She knows she’s going to see you.”
They got out and headed across the hospital parking lot, side by side, not touching. Even though his hand didn’t reach for hers, Jana felt stronger just having him with her. She’d been alone in this battle for over a year. Having Blake at her side meant someone to lean on, even if she couldn’t reach out to him.
He would help make decisions. He would be the strong voice she couldn’t always be. And maybe, just maybe, they would be friends someday.
Together they walked through the doors of the hospital, leaving behind the heat of an early Oklahoma evening. The cool, antiseptic world of the hospital greeted them. A lady at the desk smiled and asked if they needed anything.
Blake looked at Jana. “I’m assuming you know where we’re going.”
“Of course.”
He followed her to the elevator. They stepped inside. Jana pushed the button and looked at Blake. She could see the pulse in his neck. As frightened as she was, she knew he had to be reeling right about then. She knew he’d searched for them. She knew he loved, had always loved, Lindsey. It had been her own selfish fears that had caused her to flee with their daughter.
She had to make it up to him, and to Lindsey. Regret welled up inside her and without thinking she reached for his hand. She held it tight as she looked up at him.
“I am sorry.”
He nodded. The doors opened. Jana led him through the corridor and to the locked door of the children’s ward. Clowns and balloons were painted in bright colors, making it look like a happy, fun place and not a place where sick children fought to get well.
“I can’t believe this.” His voice broke.
“I know.”
“She was just a baby, Jana.”
She pushed the intercom and told the nurse on the other end her name. The door buzzed and Blake pushed it open. Jana remembered the only other time they’d gone to a hospital together. She’d been in labor. He’d been so excited. They’d been crazy in love.
They walked to the room at the end of the hall. The door to the room was closed. Their daughter was inside, waiting for Jana to return, and not knowing that Blake would be with her. Jana reached for Blake’s hand. He didn’t resist. She laced her fingers through his.
“Blake, she’s small. She’s frail.”
He exhaled and then nodded. She reached for the door and his hand slipped from hers. As she pushed the door open, he removed his hat. He was strong again. He didn’t need her to prepare him or to lend him strength.
They walked through the door into the darkened room, slivers of sunlight filtered through the blinds. The television played on mute. Lindsey—dark haired, pale and tiny—opened her eyes and turned her head to smile at her mother.
Jana watched as Lindsey’s eyes widened. Her mouth opened as she stared first at Jana and then at Blake. Jana’s heart broke all over again as she soaked in the reality of what she’d done to her daughter. All those years ago she’d been scared and selfish; she’d made a decision without thinking about the people whose lives would be affected by her choices.
Blake walked toward the bed. “Lindsey.”
Their daughter watched him, her lips trembling but forming a smile.
“I remember riding a horse with you.” Lindsey whispered the words, then without hesitation Blake was at her side, gathering her carefully into his arms.
Jana stood a short distance away and watched as the strongest man she’d ever known held their daughter and cried. She had hurt him, and she knew that not being able to heal their daughter would hurt him all over again. Because that was Blake. He was a man who fixed things.
She knew that about him. Even after years of running around the world, she had known
