indicated a room down the hall. “You go ahead, and I’ll see if we can find an aide to sit with your daughter.”
Together Blake and Jana walked down the hall. He motioned her ahead of him into the conference room that was really just a room with more bad furniture that he barely fit in and a lamp to soften the fluorescent overhead lights.
The door opened and Nurse Palmer entered the room with a compassionate smile but cautious looks as she glanced from Blake to Jana. For thirty minutes she discussed what had to happen, and what were the best- and worst-case scenarios for Lindsey. Blake listened, trying to come to terms with the young woman in that hospital bed and the little girl she’d been the last time he’d seen her. All of those lost years. He glanced at Jana and she looked away.
“What happens if no one in my family is a match?” he asked the nurse.
“We’ll continue dialysis and keep looking for a kidney. We’ll continue to monitor her blood, her heart and her blood pressure. We’re going to do everything in our power to get her well.”
“And if we find a kidney?”
“If she’s fortunate, she won’t reject the kidney, and both she and the kidney stay healthy. Later in life she’ll more than likely need another transplant. If she gets a kidney from a living donor we hope for twenty years.”
Twenty years. She’d be thirty-two. Blake shook his head as the reality of his daughter’s future hit. No matter what, she’d have a lifetime of medication and medical care. “So what do we do first?”
Nurse Palmer stood, clipboard in hand. “We can start testing you, Mr. Cooper. If necessary we’ll test the rest of your family. If they’re willing.”
“They’ll be willing. But let’s just go with the assumption that I’m the donor. When would we do this surgery? How soon?”
The nurse smiled. “Let’s take things one step at a time.”
“It seems to me that time isn’t something we have a lot of.”
“Mr. Cooper, believe me, I appreciate the urgency of this situation.”
“Okay, what’s the first step?”
“We start with paperwork, of course. And then we’ll do blood tests. We want to make sure you have blood types that match. The last thing we want is for her body to reject your kidney.”
“I’m her dad—why wouldn’t they match?”
“Mr. Cooper, being her dad isn’t in question. Your blood type, the antigens in your blood and her body accepting your kidney—those are the issues we’re looking at here. And we also want to make sure you’re in good health and that you have two very healthy kidneys.”
“Okay, let’s go.”
“Yes, let’s.” Nurse Palmer paused at the door. “Mr. Cooper, you have to understand this is a lengthy evaluation. It isn’t going to happen in an hour. And it isn’t going to happen today. We want a complete physical, blood tests, and we’ll also have you talk to a counselor.”
Great. They’d soon find out he resented the woman sitting across the room from him. He hoped that wouldn’t undo everything.
“I understand.” He reached for the hat he’d dropped on the end table. “But the way I see it, the sooner we get started, the better.”
Jana followed them into the hall. “I’m going to stay with Lindsey.”
Blake gave her a strong look and pushed back a truckload of suspicion. She wasn’t going anywhere with Lindsey. Not now. He knew that, and he’d fight through the doubts about Jana and her motives. He’d do what he had to do to make sure Lindsey got the care she needed.
He’d deal with his ex-wife later.
* * *
Jana watched Lindsey sleep. The nurse’s aide had left when she got back, only to return with a tray holding two plates. The meal was some type of chicken stir-fry. Jana tried to eat but couldn’t. Eventually Lindsey would wake up, and when she did, she’d have questions. Jana would need to have the answers. Real answers, not the ones she’d given her for years.
As she had done for the past few months, Jana prayed. She’d learned to pray, learned to trust God. She knew that Blake doubted her. Sometimes she doubted herself. But she didn’t doubt God or the faith that she’d learned to rely on when she first discovered that Lindsey’s kidneys were failing.
She had termed it “end of the rope” faith. She’d been dangling at the end of hers, and God had reached out to save her, even though she’d always doubted His existence.
“You took me away from here?” Her daughter’s soft voice broke into Jana’s thoughts.
She looked at her daughter, at the hazel eyes that were so similar to Blake’s. Those eyes were full of accusations.
“I did.”
“Why?”
Jana couldn’t look away from her child. She also couldn’t avoid the answer that would make her look like the most selfish person in the world. But hopefully someday Lindsey would see her mother as someone who’d made a mistake and then tried to make things right.
For now she would tell Lindsey the basics, not the whole story, a story that included not realizing how depressed she was during those dark days before she left Dawson and for months afterward.
“I was lost, Lindsey. I loved your dad, but I didn’t know how to be the wife of a Cooper. I didn’t know how to live so far away from London. I thought if I tried to leave him, he would take you away from me. I know that what I did was wrong, but at the time I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“You knew he was looking for me. That’s why we moved so often.”
“Yes.” The word cut deep, to the very depths of her soul. Jana reached to brush dark hair back from Lindsey’s face. “I am sorry. I’m going to make it up to you.”
“I’ll never leave with you again. You can’t make me.”
“I won’t try. We’ll stay here so you can be near your dad.”
“I want to live where he lives.”
“Okay.” Jana choked on the word, because she knew that her daughter meant living with Blake and not with her.
“Where is he?” Lindsey looked around the room. “Is he gone?”
“No, he’s being tested to see if he can be your donor.”
Lindsey reached for the cup on the table. Jana picked it up, held it to her lips. Lindsey took a long drink and then pulled away.
“Do I have other family here?”
Jana nodded. “Yes.”
“Tell me about them.”
“You have grandparents. Tim and Angie. I think Tim’s mother, Granny
