“I’ve got this.”
She nodded but didn’t trust her voice to answer. Nurse Palmer touched her shoulder, standing close to her.
“Jana, the emotions are going to hit now. I know this has been a long and difficult journey. I know there are still concerns and you don’t know how you should feel. Take a deep breath and be relieved. There will be plenty of time later to worry more—” Nurse Palmer smiled “—but there will also be great times ahead for you and your family. Blake is a perfect match. He’s a little older than we like—” she grinned at him “—but he has two healthy kidneys, and one of them will save your daughter. That doesn’t mean there can’t be complications, but it really does make things so much better for Lindsey.”
Jana nodded again. Blake’s hand on hers was warm and strong, sending his strength to her. “I’m good.”
“We need to get these two prepped for surgery. We’re going to move them in a few minutes. A nurse will take you to the O.R. waiting room. A social worker will give you updates.”
Jana closed her eyes as her body began to tremble. It was all too real. The moment was upon them, and suddenly she couldn’t be strong anymore. But she had to be.
“Jana, hug Lindsey. We need to go make a kidney swap.” Blake’s voice was light, casual. She opened her eyes and managed to smile, not cry.
“Thank you.” She leaned, and still holding his hand, she kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
He reached up, cupping her cheek with his hand, forcing her to look him in those hazel eyes of his. “This is going to work. Don’t lose faith now.”
“I won’t.”
Slowly she released his hand and turned to Lindsey. The MP3 player was on the tray and Lindsey’s eyes were huge, worried. Jana found her strength again. Right now she had to be Lindsey’s rock.
“You’re going to be healthy again, Lindsey.” Jana hugged her daughter close. “You’re going to be able to do all the things you love.”
“Ride a horse?”
Jana laughed at that, “Let’s take one thing at a time.”
“Mom, I’m not afraid.” Lindsey’s smile grew. “I’m ready.”
Jana nodded. Lindsey had found faith before Jana, and she’d led her mom to God. Now she said the words with a different meaning. She was ready for whatever happened.
“I’m going to be there when you wake up,” she promised.
“I know.” Lindsey cleared her throat. “I know I said things. I was mad. I’m still mad. But I love you, Mom.”
“Oh, Lindsey, thank you.” She hugged her daughter again, holding her tight.
“Time for us to go.” Nurse Palmer put a hand on Jana’s back. Jana turned and suddenly the room filled with staff that hadn’t been there seconds ago.
“Okay. I need to tell Blake’s family.” Jana swallowed hard. Through the surgery they would have each other.
She tried not to think about being alone. She’d done this to herself. Tears clouded her vision as she glanced back at Lindsey and then at Blake.
Be strong. Be strong.
“Jana, we’ll get through this.” Blake spoke as she reached for the door. She wished she could say something, but her throat tightened and tears clouded her vision. She nodded and walked out.
We. The word stuck in her mind as she headed down the hall. She knew he meant that he and Lindsey would get through the surgery. But she needed to be a part of that we. She needed it, at least for today. For the next week. For the next year. She needed to be included in his life, in the strength that was Blake Cooper.
And once Lindsey had recovered, then Jana could be strong on her own again.
Chapter Four
Nine days after the surgery, Blake and Lindsey went home, to Dawson. The car pulled up the driveway to his house with Jana driving and Lindsey in the backseat. His family had said their goodbyes at the hospital, knowing the three of them needed to do this together, without an audience. They were going home, but they weren’t a family. He didn’t entertain any ideas that they would ever be a family again. But it meant something, to have Lindsey coming back to this house. Home again.
It meant something that Jana had brought her back, even if it had only been to get their daughter the medical help she needed. The reasons didn’t matter to Blake, just that his daughter was back.
On the other hand, Blake wondered if Jana regretted that Lindsey’s health had brought her back to a town and a way of life that she had never wanted.
The car stopped. Blake glanced back at his daughter. She looked a little dazed, a little lost. “We’re home.”
“Yes.” Her one-word response came out in a whisper.
“Are you worried?” His hand paused on the door handle.
“No, not really. It’s just strange to be here and to think that this is where I’ll get to stay, that I won’t have to move.”
“You won’t have to move.” Blake looked from Lindsey to Jana. His ex-wife blanched a little at his tone. “Let’s get out and see if things are still in one piece. Leaving Jackson and Travis in charge is never a good idea.”
Blake pushed the door open and stepped slowly out of the sedan he’d talked Jana into driving. His car. His home. She hadn’t liked the idea of giving up her rental car and using his car. Why should that bother her?
Jana and Lindsey would be living in his house, and he was moving into the apartment over the garage at Cooper Creek. That apartment would feel good after living in a hotel next to the hospital for the past week. He also planned on driving his truck now that he was home. A man could only be taxied around so much before it got under his skin.
His gaze caught and held Jana’s as she stood looking at the house before opening the door for their daughter. He’d been gone a little over a week. She’d been gone over ten years. Nevertheless, they’d managed to forge something that felt like friendship. Or maybe it was just a truce. Everything he did at this point was for Lindsey’s sake.
Jana opened the door so their daughter could get out of the car. He watched, waiting for her reaction.
It was a big moment, her first day back in the house she’d lived in as a toddler. He kept an eye on her face as he circled the car to help her. She glanced at him, then at the log-sided ranch house. Her eyes watered a little and she wavered. He reached for her hand. Jana stepped back, giving them space.
Blake spoke first. “You’re home.”
Lindsey nodded. She looked from him to her mother. “I don’t remember it.”
“You were a baby,” he said.
“I was almost three.”
He laughed. “Right, you
