should remember. I remembered you. I wanted to remember this house.”
He didn’t know what else to say. He glanced back at Jana. She was pulling suitcases out of the trunk of the car and he guessed fighting tears. He saw her hand swipe at her cheek and he wondered, was she crying over the past or because she was stuck here?
He chided himself for being unfair. At some point he knew they’d work out a relationship that suited their new lives, as divorced parents sharing a child.
They reached the front porch. “Can you make it?”
Lindsey nodded but her grip on his arm tightened. He worried about her, probably more than he should. The doctors had declared the transplant a success. She already looked healthier, stronger than when he first saw her in the hospital.
Before they could climb the steps a loud bark split the air. Blake’s border collie, Sam, came running around the corner of the house. The dog ran straight at them. Blake shielded Lindsey’s body, but she was trying to get past him, making it hard to keep her safe from the dog that definitely wanted to jump on her.
Instead, Sam slid to a stop and sat down, his tongue lolling out of his open mouth. His black-and-white fur was coated in burrs. He’d obviously been in the field chasing something.
“Is this our dog?” Lindsey reached past him to pet the dog.
“Yes, this is Sam.”
“Did you have him when I was little?”
“No, we had another dog. He was old.” Blake couldn’t help thinking about that dog, Bobby, and how he’d followed Lindsey everywhere. Jana had always been worried about germs and dirt. But Lindsey had loved him. Bobby, a blue heeler, had loved her, and if she walked a little too far away from the house he’d herd her back to them.
She’d had a dog, a cat and a pony, and she would have had cousins to play with.
As anger pushed its way in, he took a deep breath. Lindsey was petting Sam, and Jana was dragging suitcases up to the front porch that ran the length of the house.
“Let me help you.” He gave the dog a warning glance before stepping away. Jana relinquished one of the suitcases.
“You’re not supposed to carry anything heavy,” she warned as she dragged the largest suitcase to the front door.
Blake took the handle from her. “Open the door, Jana. I think I can manage to drag a suitcase in the house.”
She shook her head but she opened the door. She wouldn’t look at him, but her hand brushed at her cheeks again. He followed her inside. It felt good to be home. The floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room let in the early-afternoon light. The house smelled clean. It looked as if he’d just been here. But he knew that the only ones who’d been here were his brothers, feeding animals and checking on the place while Blake stayed in Tulsa with Lindsey. And Jana.
He’d been released from the hospital a few short days after the surgery. Lindsey had been kept longer, to make sure there were no signs of rejection.
Jana had walked away from him. He leaned the suitcases against the wall and followed. She was standing in the dining room looking out the window, appearing to really enjoy the view of the Oklahoma fields.
“Jana?”
She shook her head but she couldn’t face him. Her hand came up again, swiping at her cheek. She sniffled. He let out a long sigh, because he wasn’t sure if he was ready to pretend the past ten years hadn’t happened.
There had been times in the past couple of weeks that it had felt right, having Jana and Lindsey back in his life. Talking, sharing moments, and he’d thought that maybe they could go back to the way things were.
Then he’d look at his daughter, now almost thirteen, and he would think about all of the lost years.
From the front porch he heard Lindsey’s laughter, the dog’s high-pitched bark. Jana was leaning against the window, hugging herself tight as her shoulders shook.
His heart gave in a little. “She’s going to be fine.”
“I know she is. But—” she shrugged “—I did this to her. I took her away from here, from her family.”
“She’s happy, Jana. I guess you can’t miss out on something you’ve never known.”
She turned to face him, wiping away the last traces of tears as the front door banged shut and Lindsey called out, asking where they’d gone to.
“I hope you’re right, because I don’t want to lose her.” Jana stepped past him, smiling at their daughter. “I think you should probably take a nap.”
Lindsey’s gaze flew to Blake. “I just got here. I’m not tired.”
“You’ve had a long day.”
“But I want to see the horses and the stables. Nan said I could come over when I got back.”
“Right, and you will do all of that, Lindsey. But not today. Today you rest.” Jana’s voice was strong again.
“What do you think, Blake?”
Blake didn’t know how to step in, what role to fill. For years he’d been a single man searching for his family. How did he suddenly become the father? After years of parenting alone, would Jana let him take that place? How did a man step in as a father after years of being absent from his daughter’s life?
His daughter looked his way, wanting him to be on her side.
“Lindsey, I think you should listen to your mom. As a matter of fact, I’ll probably head home for a nap myself.” He heard himself say the words with the strong, fatherly voice he’d learned from his own dad. He knew how the job was done, even if he was years out of practice.
“Home?” Lindsey looked from him to her mother. “Isn’t this your home?”
Both Jana and Lindsey looked at him with questions in their eyes.
“It is my home, but for the time being, it’s where you and your mom will stay. I’m staying at the ranch with my parents.”
“Why aren’t you staying here?”
“Because,” he said, wondering if that was a good enough answer. He’d heard parents say it. Because I said so. Lindsey didn’t look like a kid who would accept things just because he said so.
“Because...?” Lindsey looked determined, her chin raised a notch.
Jana smiled at him now, humor flickering in her blue eyes. Yeah, of course she was amused. He almost smiled back. And smiling was the last thing he wanted to do when it came to Jana.
“Because your mom and I aren’t married, Lindsey.” He saw the surprise on Jana’s face. Had it never occurred to her that he would file for divorce?
“But you were. And this is your house.”
“Yes, this is my house. It’s a complicated situation, so for now we’ll just deal
