better control of her emotions, because as nice as it was to forget about her problems and talk with Joel, it wasn’t worth the pain she would feel if she started to care about him and he eventually rejected her.
He shouldn’t have come here. Didn’t he know better? But he pressed down the kickstand to his motorcycle and climbed off the bike anyway.
Crossing his arms, Joel surveyed the land where the Community Church of Goose Harbor once sat. Visible from everywhere in town, the white spire topped with a cross had been the tallest point in Goose Harbor. Until he burned it down.
If he could go back in time... If he could have a redo... If he could...
Joel shook his head. Entertaining what-ifs never helped anyone.
He raked his hand through his hair and then stepped over the small metal fence that closed in the area. Not worried about the sign that said Private Property Keep Out.
Weeds and knee-high grass covered the area. Some litter collected where the wind had blown it against the fence. Nature had taken over, but a trained eye could see the outline of the old church foundation, where the basement probably still was. Other than that, this piece of land could have been any other abandoned lot.
Joel dragged his fingers over the top of the long grass as he walked. When he had lived in Goose Harbor as a teenager, this was where he’d become friends with Miles and Caleb. They hadn’t had any classes in school together—what with him being held back a year at one point—but youth group had served as an equalizer. For the first time ever, Joel had known friendship and belonging. He’d wanted to stay.
Right here.
He’d learned about God and had opened up to the possibility that his heavenly Father might love him, even if his earthly father had not.
Joel sighed. Where he stood was about the place the old youth pastor’s office would have been—where Joel had been given his first Bible and had prayed with the pastor to become a Christian. When he closed his eyes, he could picture Pastor Brent in his dress pants and gym shoes, always ready to talk, and constantly reminding them they were all loved.
And it was all gone because of him.
Joel closed his eyes, bowed his head and prayed out loud. “I’m so sorry. I see now what one rash act of anger can do. I never meant to destroy this building. In the last fourteen years, You and I have come to a good spot—not without a lot of me digging in my heels and fighting You—but we’re here and I’m thankful. When I’ve strayed, You’ve come after me time and time again. We may be on right standing these days, but I know I never asked for Your forgiveness over what I did to this church. Please forgive me, Lord. Let me move on in this town.”
Asking for forgiveness didn’t feel like enough. Joel had ruined another person’s property and he owed that person an apology. He should tell someone. He really should. Didn’t the Bible say Christians were to confess their sins to each other? Pastor Brent had moved away from Goose Harbor, but perhaps Joel could track him down. The man had always been easy to talk to.
Then again, maybe it was enough to ask God’s forgiveness. Ultimately, the church was His. And if that was all Joel had to do, then there wasn’t a need to face any consequences that might come with fessing up to a long-ago crime. Especially since telling the truth would ruin any chance he had of putting down roots in this town. Not to mention it would probably get him fired. What was that phrase? Silence is golden. Yes, he’d stick with silence.
The sound of a car on the street behind him made Joel open his eyes and turn around. The flashing emergency lights of a police car reflected off the metal of his motorcycle. The police car parked nearby and an officer with large mirrored sunglasses climbed out.
Joel’s mouth went dry and his stomach corkscrewed. For a moment, he contemplated taking off at a run, but he wasn’t some kid in trouble. If the officer wanted something, Joel would have to deal with it like a man. But his palms started sweating all the same. The policeman couldn’t know he was linked to the fire. Could he? Whatever it was, Joel knew all cops were bad cops. All the ones he’d known over the years sure confirmed that.
“Can I speak with you, sir?” the officer called out as he crossed the street. Why did every cop possess the same purposeful stride? Maybe they took a class in the police academy called How to Walk Intimidatingly. If so, the instructor deserved a raise for a job well done.
Joel cleared his throat. He hated that his childhood fear of the police could still make him nervous. “What seems to be the problem, Officer?”
“Let’s see. For starters, you’re trespassing on private property.” The officer was getting closer.
Joel stepped over the low fence again. Keep calm. “I believe it’s only considered trespassing if you’re not welcome on the land. It so happens I’m friends with the property owner. We could call her if you’d like to verify that. She won’t mind that I’m here.”
The officer tugged off his sunglasses and smiled. “Well, I’ll be—Caleb and Shelby said you were back in town. I was planning to look you up at the firehouse later today.” His old friend, Miles, held out his hand.
Joel shook it. “Glad we bumped into each other before then.” He should have recognized Miles right away. Just like Caleb, Miles hadn’t changed much in appearance since high school. “So, there’s no trouble with me being on this property, then?”
“Not now. Fact is, I heard you’re working with Shelby to rebuild.” Miles hooked his fingers on his duty belt and scanned the vacant property. The gold star pinned on his chest glinted in the morning sun. “It’ll be nice to have a church here again. We’ve been meeting in a movie theater in Shadowbend for more than ten years. I’d really like to go someplace where my shoes don’t end up stuck to the floor and my clothes don’t smell like popcorn by the end of service.”
“Actually, I’m not rebuilding it. I’m just helping with the fund-raiser.” Joel rubbed the back of his neck.
Miles wagged his head and whistled low. “You have no idea how persuasive Shelby can be, then. She’ll have you out here balancing on scaffolding by the end of the week, if it’s up to her.”
“Not likely,” Joel mumbled.
Miles raised his eyebrows. “Just wait.” He eased his stance a bit. “What brings you back to Goose Harbor, anyway?”
Had Caleb told Miles the truth about why Joel had left town? For some reason, he hoped not. Old friend or not, he wouldn’t be able to trust Miles. Not now that he was a cop.
Joel worked his jaw back and forth. “Are you asking me as a cop or as a friend?”
“I’m both. I don’t think I can separate the two.”
He rolled his shoulders, forcing the muscles under his coat to relax. “Weren’t we always dodging the police after curfew? I never would have figured you’d cross over to the dark side and become an officer.”
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