I need to learn. I’m not sitting on the sidelines. I haven’t changed a diaper yet and while you’re here I’d like to do that.”
“I think that’s a great idea.”
In Bella’s bedroom, she held back while he approached the crib. Bella sobbed, her little arms raised as if begging for someone to hold her.
“I’m here,” he said, feeling the full weight of that. He was here. He would care for her. He would do this.
But when he lifted her into his arms, she didn’t settle. She wiped her wet face on the shoulder of his shirt, but still screamed as if the hounds of hell were chasing her.
“Shh. Shh. Bella, it’s okay,” he crooned, taking a few steps, rocking a bit to comfort her, but she kept crying.
Then she saw Claire. She stretched toward her, wailing like a banshee.
Claire caught his gaze. “May I?”
He levered Bella over to her. “Please.”
Bella wrapped her arms around Claire’s neck as if she’d found a lifeline.
“I guess she didn’t wake up because she needed a diaper.”
Claire sniffed a laugh. “No. I think she might have had a bad dream.” She rubbed her nose against Bella’s face. “Hey, sweetie. It’s okay. Don’t cry. I have you.”
Her crying subsided a bit, but she curled into Claire as if trying to get inside her skin. As if she was afraid of being left.
Matt swallowed. She was afraid of being left. She’d lost both of her parents five days ago. Then she’d been put into Claire’s custody and Claire had become her anchor.
Bella hadn’t slept through the night because she trusted Matt or even because she liked her new crib. She’d slept through the night because she was finally growing accustomed to Claire.
And Claire was leaving.
He scrubbed his hand across his mouth, unsure of what to do. He hated to see Bella cry but he also hated being dependent upon Claire. She had a life. She was leaving.
He stepped forward, took the baby from Claire’s arms. “Hey,” he said, then—against every male instinct in his body—he sucked in a breath and did what he had to do. He danced her around in a big sweeping waltz step. “There’s no need to cry.”
As if by magic, Bella stopped crying, but Claire laughed. “You’re dancing.”
No kidding. Humiliation and embarrassment buffeted him, but he ignored them. “It’s not a big deal,” he said, though he knew it was. He probably looked like an idiot. “We’ve done this before.”
“You have?”
“Yes. Yesterday, before you got here, I discovered dancing keeps her quiet.”
“I discovered it the first night I had her.”
A little more comfortable, Matt waltzed her around the room again. “She likes it.”
“Maybe her mom danced with her?”
He stopped. Sadness made his stomach plummet. “Maybe she did.”
She caught his gaze. “Don’t take that the wrong way. It’s nice for Bella to have that connection.”
“It’s good to remind her of her mom?”
“I don’t think she thinks of her mom. I think she associates the dancing with love.”
His heart froze in his chest. He looked from Claire to Bella and back to Claire again. “Dancing makes her feel loved.”
“That’s what I’m guessing.”
“Then we’ll dance.”
TEN minutes later, Claire carried Bella to Matt’s office, an odd feeling in her stomach. For as much of a big, strong, stubborn guy as Matt Patterson was, he really wanted to do what was right for this baby. He genuinely wanted to be a good daddy. He didn’t mind looking a bit silly. And he wanted to learn.
She sat on the chair in front of the desk as Matt dialed the number for the nanny service.
“Hello, this is Matt Patterson. May I speak with Mary Mahoney?”
He sat in silence, waiting to be transferred, while Claire straightened the collar on Bella’s pale green one-piece pajama. “You look especially pretty in green.”
As if she understood the compliment, Bella grinned at her, but her little blue eyes were red from crying and still watery. Claire’s heart twisted. In an hour or so they’d put her down for a nap again, then the temporary nanny would arrive, Claire would leave and Bella would wake up to two people she considered strangers. Plus, there was no guarantee that the nanny would teach Matt. Or even let him spend any quality time with Bella. Or let him dance.
If Matt knew more about babies, he could stand his ground with a stern nanny. But as unconfident as he was now, he’d let a nanny take over. And Bella would lose her daddy.
Suddenly Matt straightened in his chair. “Hello. Yes. Ms. Mahoney. I’m Matt Patterson. I recently got custody—”
She pressed her fingers on the button in the cradle for the phone receiver and disconnected the call.
He gaped at her. “Are you trying to make me look like an idiot?”
“No.” She hugged cuddly Bella to her, swept her lips across her downy hair. “But I think it might be premature to leave Bella with a nanny. I think what we need to do is have me stay another day so she can get more adjusted to you.”
He slowly replaced the phone receiver in its cradle. “You want to stay?”
Refusing to meet his gaze, she fussed with Bella’s pajamas again. “I wouldn’t say I want to stay, but I think I need to stay for Bella’s sake.”
“I can’t say it’s a bad idea, but you might want to mention these things to me before I call someone, instead of just hanging up the phone when I’m talking.”
She winced. “Sorry.” She said it casually, but the full ramifications of what she’d done by hanging up the phone began to sink in. She’d slept in a bedroom next to his the night before. True, she’d closed the door, but she was still in his house. And they’d kissed—because they were attracted. True, they’d talked that out. They weren’t suited. So they were avoiding or ignoring that attraction.
But what if something happened that they couldn’t? What if they kissed again? What if he wanted to do more than kiss? Could she resist him?
She mentally shook herself. Of course she could resist him. She’d been resisting men for five years—men she hadn’t been attracted to.
She
