of my chest, and my stomach melted into my shoes.
“Hey,” said Max. “You are here. Blake said you might be.” He shut the door behind him. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
It felt like another dream. “You, um, you have?”
He nodded. “I even asked Dana if you were in your room. She didn’t give me an answer though. Just glared at me.”
“Well, I’m here,” I said, unnecessarily.
Max sat down in the chair opposite me. “What are you reading?”
“Taming of the Shrew.”
“Ha, I can relate to that guy’s struggle.” He cleared his throat. “We haven’t really talked in a while.”
“Yeah, I know.” My heartbeat accelerated.
“I, um … I wanted to ask you if maybe you’d want to go with me to the ball?”
I froze. I was so shocked that I couldn’t help but be honest. “We’ve hardly ever even talked.”
“I know, I know.” He shifted his weight. “I know. But I thought you might want to go with me anyway.” He shook his head slightly, as if his words hadn’t come out properly.
I could tell Johnny to forget it. It’d be mean. But I wanted to.
“Unless you’re already going with someone,” he added.
“I am.” The disappointment was tingling in my every nerve. If only I hadn’t run into Johnny. Why had I said yes?
“Ah. I’m not surprised.”
I didn’t know what to say. My chest was constricted, and no words would come to my mind besides profane ones.
“But we should be friends. You know? I just wanted to go as friends anyway.” He straightened up.
“Right, friends, sure. We can still do that without the ball. Right?”
“Yeah. So I’ll see you soon. The ball I guess.” He gave a small smile and turned to go.
“Yeah. I’ll see you then.”
“You mind if I ask who you’re going with?”
“Johnny Parker.”
His face drained of expression.
“Are you guys together?”
“No, not at all.”
He nodded. “All right, well, I’ll see you around.”
I wanted to scream. I wanted to kick something. He’d asked me. Max asked me. And I’d said no. But then he’d said he wanted to go as friends. My brain was doing cartwheels. I dragged my feet back to my room. There was no way I could keep reading.
“Oh, my God, you’re going with Johnny?”
Madison and Julia burst into my room without knocking and spewed the question at me.
Dana, who was of course reading a book and pretending I wasn’t in the room, glared at me. “Johnny Parker?”
“Of course Johnny Parker,” said Madison.
Dana was still staring at me blankly, but with that look in her eye I’d seen in Dr. Morgan’s office.
“I’m so glad you’re not upset that Max didn’t ask you. I mean, he is still totally in love with Becca.” Julia sat down on my desk and looked pityingly at me.
“He did ask me,” I said, enjoying the looks on their faces. “But I had already said yes to Johnny.”
Dana was still staring at me.
Neither Madison nor Julia said anything right away. Finally Julia smiled, and said, “I mean, we did tell you not to go after him. His feelings for Becca … I mean …”
I breathed deeply. “I didn’t go after him. And also it doesn’t really matter. He’s no one’s property.”
Another brief silence, and then Madison said, “Great! That’s so great. Um, so, what are you going as?”
“I have no idea. I was thinking I might have to have my mom send me something I have at home, I have no clue what I’m gonna wear.”
Madison smiled. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out. You have two weeks after all.”
“Could you guys finish up or go somewhere else? I’m going to sleep.” Dana said it without apology.
Madison and Julia left with a quick goodbye to me.
As soon as they were gone, Dana asked, “You need a costume for the Halloween Ball?”
“I don’t have anything yet, no.” My tone was short and sharp, and I dug through my dresser drawer to find my pajamas.
“I might have something you can use.”
“No, thanks.”
“No really,” she said earnestly, her face paler than I’d ever seen it. “I think it’ll suit you. And I’m not going.”
I wasn’t sure if this was an olive branch she was extending or a trap. But I couldn’t imagine how it could be the latter.
Dana pulled something from her closet. “Here, it’s a Marilyn Monroe dress.” She shrugged. “Wear it if you want to.”
I hesitated and then took the package. “If I can’t find anything else.”
Two weeks later, Halloween night
It was 6:57 p.m. Four hours ago, I’d been in the front hall, waiting for the last shipment of mail to come in. There was no package for me. That meant no Snow White costume. I’d ordered it forever ago and paid for faster shipping.
After digging through my closet for an hour and trying to assemble something, I had to give up. Anything I’d do would look stupid and incredibly homemade. I didn’t even have a nice dress to wear.
And then Dana reminded me of her offer. I took her up on it, and wore her extra costume. I had no choice. It was that or go as Daisy Duke.
“Dammit,” I muttered, looking everywhere for the white sandals I’d set out. Finally I found them, underneath a pillow I had tossed aside in my search for them.
Dana was still in the room, silently watching me scurry. “You look good.”
I swiped aside my sandy-not-platinum-blond hair from my eyes and threw on my coat for the walk to the dining hall.
I was confident. I felt good about myself for the first time in a while. I looked pretty good, if I did say so myself,
