terrifying.
What was he going to do? Walk away? Man up? Find a middle line that worked for both of them? The three of them, growled a pesky voice in his head, reminding him he hadn’t really got the hang of all this yet. He wouldn’t be walking away. That much he did know. He wanted to. No point denying that. But he wouldn’t.
‘Captain Daniels?’ A corporal stood beside Sophie. ‘Lieutenant Colonel Shuker requests your presence.’
‘Thank you, Corporal. Can you tell me where I’ll find him?’ Yay, someone to talk to who had nothing to do with his dilemma.
But as he followed the soldier across the parade ground his elation deflated quicker than it had risen. Alistair Shuker, aka ‘List’ to his mates, was going to ask him what his plans were for the future. He was going to wave that Australian Army contract under his nose and tease him with money and a soft posting.
‘Coop, good to see you, man.’ List punched him lightly on the shoulder. ‘How was the flight?’
‘Rough, hot and boring.’ Cooper returned the punch and studied his friend. They’d been together on some hairy forays in joint exercises with their respective armies. List was a man a guy could rely on to get them out of a tight spot. He was also the only man who knew him well. They’d done a lot of talking in the deep of the night while waiting for situations to go down in Afghanistan. Too much. There was nothing List didn’t know about him, and vice versa. Except that was wrong. There was one snippet of information List had no idea about. One Cooper wasn’t about to share.
‘That why you disappeared off base with our lovely doctor? Needed a cold drink? Or great company?’ List was watching him so closely he had to be able to count his whiskers even though he’d shaved that morning.
Uh-oh. Did he know about the baby after all? As in who the father was? Had known before him? Cooper shivered. He didn’t like the idea. Not one little bit. The baby had nothing to do with anyone else except him and Sophie. ‘You’re friends with Sophie?’ And that idea made him squirm with something alien—jealousy. A nasty reaction he was ashamed to admit and yet found hard to squash. Why be jealous when he had no intention of settling down with any woman? Not even an auburn-haired, svelte beauty, who right now probably needed someone in her life to support her.
‘Everyone’s friends with Sophie. People adore her. No one wants to see her hurt.’ The warning couldn’t be louder—or clearer.
All the emotions of the day balled into anger and he took it out on List. ‘Don’t threaten me, mate. Whatever’s going on in that head of yours is way off the mark, so shut up. If you haven’t got anything better to say then I’m heading over to the mess where hopefully I’ll get some peace and quiet.’ And the very cold beer he’d missed out on at Harry’s Place due to Sophie being called back. His blood was boiling as he spun around to head for the door.
‘Coop, stop right there.’ List wasn’t quite pulling rank. The words were those of a commanding officer but the tone was that of a friend. Being a New Zealand officer didn’t quite let Cooper walk away in a huff from an Australian counterpart.
As much as Cooper wanted to storm off, he knew his reaction wasn’t only about his friend but a combination of everything that’d gone down since landing in Darwin. Stopping his retreat, he slowly turned round. ‘You wanted to talk about me signing up with your lot?’
Keep off the taboo topic, mate.
He was subjected to a long and deep perusal before List finally shrugged and sat down. ‘Yes.’ He nodded at the vacant chair on the other side of his desk. ‘You thought about it?’
Cooper elected to remain standing, still on edge. ‘A lot.’
‘And?’
‘I admit to not knowing what I want to do. I’m sort over soldiering, and yet going back to Civvy Street seems too tame.’ Restless didn’t begin to describe him. There had to be a lot more out there waiting for him, but what? Something was missing in his life. That much he got. What, how, where and why were yet to be answered. A challenge of some sort might fix whatever it was that ailed him.
A baby had to be up there as one of the biggest challenges possible.
List leaned back in his chair and placed his feet on the desk. ‘Sit down, man. It’s me you’re talking to.’
‘Yeah, I know.’ All too well. As quickly as it had risen, all the tension grabbing him evaporated. This was his best pal, the guy who knew far too much about him for him to be getting antsy. Cooper dropped onto the chair and propped his feet on the opposite end of the desk, rank forgotten for now. ‘So how’s life treating you?’
‘Can’t complain.’ List grinned. ‘Back on the mainland where it’s relatively safe, lots of women hanging around, my folks just down the road.’
‘I forgot you came from these parts.’
‘Born and bred Northern Territory guy. Mum and dad still live in the house I grew up in.’
‘I can’t begin to imagine what that’s like.’ Cooper again felt a spurt of jealousy. What was wrong with him today? Never before had he thought other people, especially his pal, were better off than him. While his father was constantly on the move with work and women, never settling down with anyone for more than a year at most, Cooper felt he didn’t have a home as such, but he’d got used to that. Dad always had his back and that meant a lot. He accepted that’s how it was for him and that he was happier doing the same as his father than trying to be someone else. Stopping in one place with one woman for the rest of his life? He shivered. Not something he knew much about, and would probably screw up if he even tried.
Sophie sneaked into his head. Rubbing his palm where he’d felt the baby kick, he remembered the wonder that’d filled him at the thought his baby was in there. Not just a baby—his baby. What was he going to do now?
‘You should try settling down some place,’ List commented dryly. ‘You never know. You might like owning a home, not a house. Having a family to come back to at the end of the day or a tour of duty.’
His house was just fine, thanks very much. ‘Says the man who plays the field even harder than I do.’ He’d ignore the barb List had delivered.
Or so he thought. ‘Sure I do, but I’m looking, man. I want the wife and kids, the whole nine yards of snotty noses and nappies. The football in the back yard. The romantic nights under the stars when the kids are asleep in bed.’
Cooper rubbed his hands over his head. ‘Thought I knew you. When did you get so staid?’
His pal laughed. ‘When the plane landed here six months ago. I climbed down onto home turf and knew I was ready to settle down. I’ve had enough running around with the boys and not having anyone special to come home to after a particularly messy tour.’
‘You’re going to quit the army? And you’re aiming to convince me to join up with your lot?’
‘Don’t put words in my mouth. I’m merely trying to get you to think things through clearly, make the right decisions with all the facts.’
There was that nudge again. This time like a bulldozer. List did know something about him and Sophie. He’d swear it. But he wasn’t going to ask. A barrage of questions would follow. Questions he had yet to work out the answers to. ‘Is there any other
