that didn’t mean she’d grab the first offer that came along. Sexy hunk making the offer or not. Sex in hard boots or not. Which made it difficult not to give in to Cooper when he turned those winning smiles on her. She fell for them every time, but so far, thank goodness, she hadn’t made any major mistakes since he’d turned up on her patch yesterday.
‘So we agree to live in the same city at least?’ He ground out the question.
‘We haven’t agreed to anything yet,’ she snapped back. Where had the usual calm, happy Sophie gone? ‘I’m going home to Auckland. You say you might be stopping there, or you might be going back overseas with the army. Where would you want me living if you choose to do that, huh? I’m not following you around military bases.’ As if.
Calm down, girl. This is not the way to solve the differences between us.
What was the right way? Seemed they got on just fine if they kept off the subject of their child, but the moment anything to do with her and her future arose they were at loggerheads. ‘Cooper...’ She tried for a reconciliatory tone. It wasn’t easy. ‘Thank you for asking me but I will not do this for our child’s sake. That’s no way to start a marriage. I am open to discussions on where I live and how to raise our daughter.’
How come he was suddenly talking marriage? Alistair had warned her in an offhand way about his friend’s reputation of love ’em and leave ’em. Would he be faithful when there was no love between them? And, seriously, why should he be? Another reason to stick to her guns. ‘Why get hitched at all?’ she asked.
Uncertainty flickered through his eyes briefly and then he was in control again. ‘It’s the right thing to do.’
Oh, no, it’s not. Believe me.
‘No one gets married because they’re having a baby any more.’
‘Maybe they should. I’m thinking about our child here, and how it’s going to affect her, living in a single-parent family.’
‘It’s not uncommon these days. Not by a long shot.’ If only she’d lived with one parent and visited the other she might be making a better job of her own life. Following through on his comment, she said, ‘You don’t really want to be married. Why should you? It would cramp your style.’ When his mouth tightened she continued. ‘We’re all but strangers to each other. The worst possible grounds for settling down together, don’t you think?’
He barked a laugh. ‘To think the first time I propose I’m having to justify myself.’ His fingers whitened as his grip tightened. There’d an interesting line of bruises on his hips later. ‘What would make you reconsider your decision?’
‘Nothing.’ When he stared at her as though she’d hurt him deeply she relented. ‘It’s not about you. I was the only reason my parents married and I’ve paid for it all my life.’
The hurt dulled a little. ‘That’s sad.’
‘It was downright cruel.’ She bit on her bottom lip to prevent any more unnecessary words spilling out. She also held her breath in an attempt to hold back the tears that threatened. She never cried about her childhood. Never. The back of her hand came away from her face wet. Maybe it was time she did. Oh, sure. That would solve a whole heap of problems.
‘It doesn’t have to be like that between us and our girl.’
A sledgehammer might work better. ‘Cooper. Listen to me. You haven’t thought this through. Getting married will cramp your lifestyle so much you’ll soon become frustrated and angry and want out. Then who pays? Our daughter for one.’
And me for another.
Her mouth dropped open.
Why would I care? It’s not as though I love him. I mightn’t have been able to forget him but that’s because I’m carrying his child. I do not, could not love him.
‘Sophie? You okay?’ The man totally wrecking her day stood in front of her, concern plastered all over his face.
Blink. ‘Yes.’ Blink. No.
Sure, he’s hot and gorgeous and even fun to be around when he’s not talking about our futures, but live with him as his wife? Not likely, sunshine.
‘You’ve gone pale.’ He was studying her thoroughly. When her hand automatically rubbed her stomach his eyes dropped to watch. ‘You’re not having another pain?’
She shook her head. ‘Let’s go back to base. I’m tired.’
Annoyance replaced his concern, but he didn’t argue, just began packing up their picnic. ‘Fine.’
Being tired was quite normal these days for Sophie. But being bemused by the thought Cooper might mean something to her was new. How could he after so little time together? It didn’t make sense but, then, none of this did. Admittedly she’d feel a little less irresponsible if she could believe she had some feelings for him. Getting pregnant by a complete stranger did not sit well when she knew how much pain an unwanted pregnancy caused those involved. Justifying it by acknowledging she might’ve felt something for him that night would lighten the guilt. Sometimes she wondered what she was going to say when her daughter asked about her father. Hardly going to build confidence in her when her mother told her it had been a brief encounter of the sexual kind that had carried no other meaning than to satisfy an urge brought on by a bomb exploding metres from them.
But if Cooper hung around and became a part of his girl’s life then no explanations would be necessary. Would they?
* * *
The silence was thick enough to cut as Cooper drove back to the base. He was stunned at his offer of marriage. Where had that come from? Getting married would be totally wrong. It went against everything he believed in. He’d never stay in a relationship for long, even one involving a marriage certificate. He was his father’s son in that respect. Unfair. True. Dad had never left his wife, just all the women that had come afterwards. Mum had opted to leave them—by tying a noose around her neck and hanging herself from the garage rafter.
He shivered as the hated memory slapped him. Dad’s hoarse shout coming from the garage. Mandy, don’t leave me. Was that why his dad never settled for long? He’d often wondered but had never asked. Too much hurt to be raised if he did.
Yet none of that explained why the moment Sophie had turned him down he’d hurt bad. Really bad. No one had ever turned him down for anything quite so abruptly, and his proposal had been serious, a handing over of part of himself. Her reply had been a hot lance spearing him. He hadn’t planned on asking her, hadn’t given it much thought except to toss the idea aside as ludicrous. Still, the words had spilled out. Gratitude should be his response to Sophie’s answer. It wasn’t. ‘Now what?’
‘We swap contact details.’
He hadn’t realised he’d spoken out loud. ‘You know we’re on the same military flight out of here on Monday?’
‘I thought you were going tomorrow.’ Was that dread in her voice?
Please, no. He didn’t want her keeping him at a distance. ‘List changed my arrangements.’
‘You’re telling me you didn’t have any say in the matter? You’re in different armies.’
‘He
