traffic, but they had seen an uptick in business despite Wanda’s rampant skepticism at the Matrimony Valley idea at first. The diner had been and would always be the place where locals ate—that would never change. Yvonne Niles’s bakery, like Kelly’s flower shop, had the most to gain from weddings. And both women were eager to see their businesses expand.
A fully booked year—think of what that could do for the valley! Weddings were a months-ahead kind of business. A fully booked year would take away so much of the guessing and doubts of her life. With the exception of a few reliable holidays like Valentine’s Day, Easter, Christmas and such, flowers were mostly an impulse purchase, or bought for occasions such as birthdays or anniversaries that were significant only to a single couple—making a single purchase—at a time. A steadily predictable wedding income could mean the world to her and Lulu.
Kelly looked up at the clear winter sky and its assortment of fluffy clouds. You’ve taken enough from me, Mother Nature, she chided silently. Time to cut me a break and just send a pretty dusting of snow. No storm, you hear? The elk wedding needs to be perfect.
* * *
Bruce tried again. “I bet the woods look beautiful this morning. Chock-full of unicorns. Waffles, and then a walk—what do you say?”
Carly flopped over on her bed like a five-year-old heap of drama. “I wanna go to Lulu’s church and make Valentine’s cookies.”
The Almighty wasn’t fighting fair, bringing frosting into this. “You have to sit still a lot during church. Do you remember?” The fact that he had to ask pinched at his conscience.
“I can sit still just fine. I wanna go. Lulu says it’s lots of fun.”
For you, maybe, he thought, trying to envision himself sitting in a church pew again.
“We won’t know anybody there except Kelly and Lulu.” Even as the words left his mouth, they felt like a weak argument. Besides, if almost no one knew him, then maybe no one could do that super-supportive “we want to be here for you” thing that made him cringe.
He looked at Carly’s pleading eyes, aware he was losing this argument. Bruce Lohan had delivered firefighters into blazing mountainsides and pulled rescue victims from raging waters, but evidently he was no match for his daughter’s pout, or God wielding cookies.
And so it wasn’t that much of a surprise that at 9:50 a.m. Bruce found himself standing at the door of Matrimony Valley Community Church, dragging his feet up the steps behind Carly’s insistent pulling.
“Carly!” Lulu greeted happily as they hung their coats on the set of racks just inside the door. “Come sit with us!”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Kelly said, clearly giving Bruce an out if he wanted one.
Bruce actually couldn’t decide which was worse—sitting with Kelly and Lulu or enduring the church service alone. He’d gone to a handful of services after Sandy’s passing, and once Carly skipped off to children’s church he’d felt excruciatingly solitary sitting in the pew alone.
Carly decided for him. “I do. C’mon, Dad.” And with that, she trotted off into the sanctuary holding hands with Lulu as if it were the easiest thing in the world. His daughter had no idea that just walking into the space set a lump of ice into Bruce’s gut that threatened to send him running for the door.
“We don’t bite,” Kelly said. “Well, except maybe cookies.”
“Ha,” he said drily, too tense to appreciate the attempt at humor.
“Consider it a test run for the wedding, then,” she said, starting to follow the girls to a pew that was way too close to the front for his taste. He’d have preferred the far corner of the last pew, but it wasn’t going to happen. “This way, the ceremony won’t be your first time in here. Familiar spaces are always easier, and the day will be tough enough already.”
At least Kelly got how hard this wedding was going to be for him. Other people got it, sort of, but Bruce knew they couldn’t really understand the painful happiness Tina and Darren’s wedding represented for him. Everyone else was caught up—and rightly so—in the happiness that weddings ought to be. He’d been ecstatic on his wedding day, still a tiny bit unbelieving that he’d landed this beauty who seemed so far out of his league. Stunned that the woman who’d left him dumbstruck at their first meeting had actually fallen for the likes of him, just a normal guy.
A normal guy. Funny how “normal” looked so appealing. Something still beyond his reach. And yet, without the weight of his history driving people to smother him with concern, he could almost feel something close to normal here.
Why? Because it was different? Free from the soaking of memory that usually caught him up short? He’d tried to return to church back in Kinston, he really had. But the place just could never be anything but where they held Sandy’s funeral. Kelly talked as if she drew hope and encouragement from her church, but he wasn’t there yet. He wondered if he ever would be again.
Bruce took his seat in the small pew, he and Kelly flanking the girls on either side. He tried to discount the weirdly family-ish feeling sitting in a pew with these three people gave him, finding it ridiculous. He’d known two of them for one day. Just because Carly made instant friendships didn’t mean he had to. Be nice, yes, but get close? No.
Rather than look in Kelly’s direction, Bruce scanned the small sanctuary. Maybe his strange sense of comfort came from the fact that this place looked nothing like the large and fancy church back home. It was a bright and simple space. Peaceful. With the character that came from years and history. Neat but not fancy. Perfect for the kind of wedding Tina and Darren wanted.
Not that sitting here was effortless. More than once one of them had to “shush” the excited girls. Kids were such naturals at instant friendships. Carly’s smiles and stifled giggles were worth a prickly hour in a strange sanctuary, weren’t they?
Except sitting through the service didn’t actually feel that strange. Did he still have a bone to pick with the Almighty? Sure, that wasn’t going to disappear after the mountain of pain he’d been climbing over the past two years. But church itself? Church was different from God, even though he couldn’t quite say why. Church was people. Back home in Kinston, it was nosy, prodding, pitying people with concerned faces and endless hugs. People who said “How are you?” with such an invasive persistence. Church with a bunch of people he didn’t know ended up a lot easier than church with all those he did. The unfamiliarity gave him space to just be, somehow. Was it a deep, spiritual experience? No. But it wasn’t nearly as awful as he’d expected it to be.
Sure, it felt awkward when Carly and Lulu raced off down the hallway with the other children, leaving a gaping space in the pew he and Kelly occupied. He watched Kelly fidget and take pains not to look his way, so he knew she felt it, as well. An uncomfortable awareness threatened to distract him from the service, and he fought to keep his attention on Pastor Mitchell’s message about the true nature of love.
He was relieved no one quoted the “love is patient, love is kind” verse Sandy’s sister had read at their wedding. The message instead focused on the strength love brought to the world. How love stood up against the darkness with God’s relentless care for His people. How love transformed and redeemed. How God’s love could do things that human love so often failed to do: find the good, grow the hope, see the true value. He liked the pastor’s idea that love was a constant outside of human relationships. It helped him think there could and would be love left in the world despite the huge
