Your parents’ names, dates of birth, marriage and death if applicable
• The names and vital details of your aunts and uncles
• Your grandparents’ names, dates of birth, marriage and death if applicable
• The names and vital details of your great-aunts and uncles (the siblings of your grandparents)
• Anything you know about your great-grandparents, their siblings, and anyone who came before them
• Family stories you have heard and who told them to you
Widening Your Search: Talking to Your Family
Having written down as much information as you can about your forebears, it’s time to cast the net a little wider and draw upon the collective wisdom of your living relatives. Holidays such as Easter or Christmas, when the family tends to congregate, are often good times to begin your research, because festive gatherings tend to generate a sense of nostalgia, when folk naturally start to reminisce about happy times from the past, swapping anecdotes about relatives who may no longer be around to enjoy the festivities. If you can’t wait for a natural opportunity to arise, you can always organize a family reunion, making sure to invite as many of the older generations as you can. You will probably find that others are just as interested in your research as you are and will be eager to help you – story-telling is as much fun for the narrator as the audience.
Although you may have heard the same stories told year after year, there are probably plenty more that you haven’t heard, mainly because it’s easy to play down moments in one’s life that we think are uninteresting, but are actually fascinating to someone who wasn’t there. An ‘everyday’ childhood memory of growing up during the Blitz is still a powerful, unknown and chilling story to a later generation who have no concept of what it would have been like.
Aside from these colourful stories, it’s important to focus – as before – on simple biographical details of names, dates and places. This is why it’s important to talk to older members of the family; they can tell you about their parents and grandparents, folk that you are unlikely ever to have met other than in faded photographs. However, don’t forget to record details of their lives as well – where they lived, what their jobs were and, most important of all, what they were like as people. It’s all too easy to treat family history as an academic exercise, but these are the details you’ll want to pass on to other members of the family. You’ll be amazed at what you can uncover by spending several hours talking to a great-aunt – details of your grandparents as children, growing up in the countryside for instance, and working on a farm before moving to the city later in life. These conversations will peel back time and you’ll see your family in an entirely new light – your grandparents as children; your uncles and aunts as brothers and sisters; and generations of your relatives at work and play, in love and in mourning.
Sadly, many people leave it too late to start this important process, or simply don’t have any living relatives to help with this initial research. Whilst this makes things a bit harder, and removes the colour from the first stage of your research, it is still perfectly possible to start your family history from scratch, using the information on your birth certificate to find your parents’ marriage and birth certificates and then work back from there. If this is the case, the information in Chapter 5 will help you get started.
Interview Techniques
It may seem like the most natural thing in the world to sit down with your relatives and extract information, but in reality a great deal of planning ought to go into this process, not only to focus your attention on what you need to find out, but also to put your family at ease. After all, you don’t want them to think they’re about to face the Spanish Inquisition! It can be rather unnerving for both interviewer and interviewee at first, so you need to go out of your way to make the process as simple and fun as possible. For example, if you’ve set up a family gathering, you could even have a bit of fun and turn it into a game – initially asking the same few questions to everyone and comparing the answers afterwards to see who remembers the most, stimulating discussion and allowing you to focus on the most likely source of further information.
However, if you are spending time visiting members of the family individually, make sure you’ve compiled a clear set of questions, topics and people that you want to ask them about. Who was Great-aunt Alice? When was she born? Who was her husband, and when did they marry? Where was the ceremony? Did they live in the same area? So, Great-uncle Herbert was a farmer? Where was the farm? It’s also important to focus on one family member at a time, so that neither you nor your relative becomes confused. In general, you should concentrate on obtaining initial information about:
• Names, including Christian and nicknames, surnames and maiden names
• Dates of birth, marriage and death
• Places of birth, marriage, death and abode
• Occupations
Once you’ve obtained as much biographical data about a person as you can, it’s then time to ask about what the people were like. Having found out that Great-aunt Alice was born in London, but ended up marrying a farmer called Herbert in a remote part of Norfolk, the burning question is how did they meet? How did she adapt to life on a farm, having been brought up a Londoner? What was she like as a person?
This is where you’ll have to exercise your diplomatic skills, as people can ramble on a bit, and memory will play tricks if the events being described took place a long time ago. You will need to balance the desire to learn about a particular subject with the ability to let someone talk about their past without too much interruption, because we all love telling anecdotes. However, your relatives may not want to talk about everything that’s happened to them. Attitudes to illegitimacy have changed over time, and what to us is an interesting story might be a stigma that’s caused pain and misery for decades. If you sense that someone is uncomfortable talking about certain matters then do not force them to continue. It is better that you leave that topic of conversation so your interviewee does not feel pressurized. They may even decide to come back to talk to you about it at another time when they feel more comfortable.
‘If you are visiting family members individually, compile a clear set of questions, topics and people to ask them about.’
Alternatively, they might want to talk to a third party or non-family member about what’s happened to them. This is particularly true of painful memories that relate to war. You would be amazed how many former combatants don’t tell their families about their experiences to shield them from what they went through, but will happily talk to a military historian who they believe has a greater understanding. As a final resort, you can always suggest that your relative writes down their secrets in a sealed envelope and leaves it to you in their will. Although this may appear frustrating, it does give them the opportunity to take their secrets to the grave with them, yet still reveal what it was that they thought too sensitive to talk about.
If there is a particular story or person that fascinates you, it’s going to be important to talk to as many members of the family as possible, and compare different versions of the same tale – where accounts agree or overlap, there is likely to be a greater degree of truth. However, it’s going to be your job as a family historian to verify everything you hear, which is why good note-taking is essential to this process.
Oral history is invaluable to genealogists and historians, creating a living link with
