How can you say it was all for nothing? You got your house cleaned, didn’t you? And at least you didn’t have a stranger scrubbing your toilets.
Jocelyn
| From: | Zelia Muzuwa <[email protected]> |
| To: | SAHM I Am <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: [SAHM I AM] This stinks |
Joc, babe, are you still whining and moaning about the pain of having someone clean your house FOR you? I love you, girl, but… Get. A. Grip.
As for my own housecleaning efforts (done by the sweat of my brow and the grease of my elbow, I might add)…it was for nothing because I was trying to get rid of the garbage smell in my house. I was not trying to clean my house. If I’d known that all that cleaning was still not going to help, I would have saved myself the trouble.
And we did have near-strangers victimized by our olfactory pollution. My DH Tristan had a coworker and her husband over for dinner last night. It wasn’t until after we were done eating that we first noticed the problem. I thought Tristan had forgotten to take out the garbage like I asked him to.
I kept jerking my head toward the kitchen, trying to signal to him that we needed to talk privately. The blockhead. (Whom I love with all my heart, but still…) Totally oblivious.
Carla, his work colleague (who happens to have just been made a partner in his firm—somebody he needs to impress), started sniffing the air. I pretended I wasn’t watching. Then she checked the bottoms of her shoes.
DUH—it wasn’t that kind of smell. Anybody ought to have known that!
Then she leaned over, like she was getting something out of her purse, but I could tell she was smelling under her arms.
Tacky. But it was making me nervous. Something reeked. In my house! And one of the partners of Tristan’s company was definitely noticing it!
I excused myself to the kitchen and checked the garbage can. It had a few scraps in it from fixing dinner, but nothing that smelled. In fact, the kitchen didn’t smell as bad as the family room.
By the time the couple left, both of them looked like they were going to pass out soon from trying not to take any deep breaths. They gave us these tiny frozen smiles and scuttled out of the house. I’m almost certain I heard them both gasping for air before we had barely shut the door.
I am utterly mortified! I spent all day trying to track this down and no such luck!
Tristan apparently has a nearly nonexistent sense of smell. He thinks I’m imagining the whole thing—including Carla’s little sniff-check.
Next on my list—bathing all the kids.
Z
| From: | P. Lorimer <[email protected]> |
| To: | SAHM I Am <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: [SAHM I AM] This stinks |
A quote, in your honor, Zelia:
“Something is rotten in the state of Maryland.”—slight paraphrase from Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 4
Seriously, I wouldn’t be overly concerned. I doubt it’s as bad as you think it is. And it might be something outside—like a sewer pipe or your neighbors’ trash cans or something.
Phyllis
| From: | Zelia Muzuwa <[email protected]> |
| To: | P. Lorimer <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: [SAHM I AM] This stinks |
Ack! My own Shakespeare predilection thrown back at me. A perfect example of this:
“Hoist with his own petard.” (Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 4) You want to have a Shakespeare war, girlfriend? I’ll win.
And I’m not overreacting. I know a bad stink when I smell it! And last night after dinner, definitely “there was the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.” (The Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 3, Scene 5)
TOP THAT!
Z
| From: | Brenna L <[email protected]> |
| To: | SAHM I Am <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: [SAHM I AM] This stinks |
Oh no! Everyone take cover! The Great Shakespeare Quote War has broken out again! Run for your lives!!! Or as the Bard would say: “Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!”
Brenna
| From: | Zelia Muzuwa <[email protected]> |
| To: | SAHM I Am <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: [SAHM I AM] This stinks |
Ah, Brenna… I salute you, Mistress Lindburg. You are truly magnificent. Here’s one for you:
“Methinks a woman of this valiant spirit
Should, if a coward heard her speak these words,
Infuse his breast with magnanimity
And make him, naked, foil a man at arms.”
(King Henry VI Part iii, Act 5, Scene 4)
Z
| From: | Hannah Farrell <[email protected]> |
| To: | SAHM I Am <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: [SAHM I AM] This stinks |
That’s NOT a real Shakespeare quote! Shakespeare would never have written about naked…people in his plays! That’s not appropriate to joke about! I studied Romeo and Juliet last year in Senior English, and there wasn’t ONE mention of anything remotely risqué!!!
Hannah
| From: | P. Lorimer <[email protected]> |
| To: | SAHM I Am <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: [SAHM I AM] This stinks |
Hannah, out of curiosity…what school
