have to go to Butlins but it still felt horrid.’
‘Were they okay?’
‘Oh, yeah. I think that made it worse. Arlo had a strop because we made him get out of the car to kiss us both goodbye and Petal happily waved and blew raspberries as she was driven away. They couldn’t have cared less. It was horrible.’
‘Kids take things in their stride. How was Dave?’
‘He wound me up. I came back here to escape and got hijacked by Mrs Nowakowski and bra-gate. I thought she was nice but today she really put the cow in Nowa—’
‘Now, now. She might have had a point. What did Dave do to wind you up?’
Sophie dropped her fork and it clattered onto her plate. Maurice gave her a haughty look at the disturbance. ‘Arlo brought home all his schoolbooks and I was looking through them. When I was away on the team event, Dave had to check Arlo’s homework. It was one sodding line, that was all, and he never bothered to check it.’ She was shaking her head.
‘What was wrong with it then?’
‘Arlo had written, “I love cock!” with an exclamation mark at the end. Which to be honest I thought was really advanced for his age …’
‘Cock?’ asked Anna, her face distorted with the effort of not laughing.
‘Yes. Obviously he meant Coke,’ said Sophie, giving her friend an old-fashioned look. ‘Which, more to the point, Dave shouldn’t have been letting him drink either. Anyway, his teacher had corrected it and put a smiley face …’
‘Dave’s a cock,’ said Anna, and Sophie nodded her agreement. They looked at each other across the small table and dissolved into hysterics.
When they were all called together for a 9 a.m. briefing they knew it would be Liam’s presentation and there he was standing at the front of the room looking smug. Liam watched her walk in but his expression remained fixed. Bugger, thought Anna. She’d already calculated her redundancy. It wasn’t a lot, but it should mean she wouldn’t have to look for something until the new year, which was a bonus. Perhaps she’d take herself off for a holiday.
Hudson strode into the room, overtook a few meanderers and slotted into the seat next to Anna. ‘D Day has arrived,’ he said, exuding enthusiasm as always.
‘Here,’ she said, handing Hudson her phone. ‘This is a picture of Liam doing ballet aged eight.’
Hudson held the phone and immediately his shoulders started to bob up and down as he took in the photograph of a small boy in a very tight orange leotard displaying a very obvious lump. ‘Where did you get this?’
‘I remembered his mum sent me a load of old photos for his birthday last year and I thought it might help if we had this to look at while he delivers our fate.’
Karl took the seat next to Hudson and immediately clocked the photo. ‘Someone’s excited about ballet. Who’s this?’
‘Liam,’ said Hudson, through splutters of laughter. Liam glanced over and they huddled around the phone and reduced their volume.
‘Bloody hell, remind me not dump you,’ said Karl to Anna. She tried to snatch her phone back but Karl was already passing it along their row.
‘I think everyone’s here,’ said Roberta, stepping up onto the platform. Liam started fiddling with his laptop and looking anxiously at the projector screen behind him and back to the laptop.
‘Is he trying to get something up?’ asked Karl, and they all began sniggering. There was something infectious about trying not to laugh in serious situations.
The presentation that followed could have told them they were closing the company down at lunchtime and they would have still had smiles on their faces. As it was, the main focus was on a total process overhaul, with the application of Lean methodologies at both the UK offices and in New York. There was a restructure but as everyone scanned it quickly to find their name, they were reassured nobody was missing from their team. Basically Liam had seized the merger as an opportunity to improve the current processes, which delayed things a bit but made ultimate sense. However, there were predicted reductions in the call centre and processing areas following the implementation of the suggested changes. The big impact for Anna was their programme was getting bigger but Anna saw this as a positive. Liam had taken the approach of ‘while we’ve got the bonnet up, let’s see what other improvements we can make’. Yes, there would be plenty of rework but this would definitely be a sizeable deliverable on her CV and excellent experience too.
Roberta gave what was probably meant to be a rousing speech and ended with a quote in large letters on the big screen that read – The only way to get what you want in this world is through hard work. ‘And do you know who said that?’ she asked.
‘Minnie Mouse?’ whispered Karl.
‘Tiana from The Princess and the Frog,’ said Roberta solemnly.
‘So close,’ said Karl with feeling.
Anna caught Liam looking at her and he gave a tentative smile before explaining the timescales.
‘Timescales are tight,’ whispered Anna to Hudson.
‘Not as tight as his ballet leotard,’ chipped in Karl. Anna was starting to feel bad about sharing the photograph and she snatched back her phone. Liam hadn’t stitched her up, which was what she had feared he would do. He had done a good job. In fact he could have recommended a separate project for these changes and left Anna and Hudson to finish the merger but what he’d actually done was give them a significant programme of work and enhanced their current project. He’d also stuck to his word and not said anything about her and Hudson because if he had that would have spread as quickly as only office gossip can. She almost felt like she should thank him.
‘Scope now includes New York,’ said Hudson, with a broad smile. He’d said he was missing New York – was this his opportunity to go home? There was a natural split for the two of them with Hudson managing the changes in New York and her managing the UK project. In one simple slide she could see logically how things should be managed and it meant them going their separate ways. It would no longer be shared responsibilities; there would be clear deliverables for both of them, which was exactly what she’d wanted from the very beginning, but now it didn’t seem such an issue.
‘Who do these belong to?’ said a grinning Sophie, waving aloft a pair of men’s Spider-Man underpants as Anna dashed into the kitchen to avoid the downpour outside.
‘What?’ said Anna, glancing at the swinging underwear. She kicked off her heels and sighed with relief. It had been a very long day. She gave her toes a wriggle. Maurice was lying in the hall stretched out like a furry road bump.
‘Who is Mr …’ Sophie paused to study the label ‘… large?’ asked Sophie.
‘Who’s who?’ asked Anna, starting to feel a tiny bit irritated by the silly conversation and the stupid pants.
‘The owner of these.’
