arrive when I meet someone and there is a connection of some or other sort. Of course it is a two way affair if it happens.
I think your message to me had something to do with love and I also felt something strange inside, wonderful, exciting.
Now I am interested in what it might be.
Love?
I am interested in seeing you again. I would tend to feel guilty or "ín a corner" if you came over to South Africa because I would think, what if it goes bad in the first days?
I found you attractive and sexy. As a 43 year old man I have been looking for a companion and some one in there 30's would have been ideal. Also I have thought that maybe it is the last opportunity to be a father? But with you it would be another story –
Love, I guess.
Than its a wonder that doesn't need children, a woman like you would be fullfilling the heart of a very hungry man like me.
But I want to be honest and clear and without confusion.
Therefore need to meet you again.
Urgently.
I would like to talk to you, have an understanding flowing between us, have experiences, get to know you, have a friend – a woman – sleep in your arms and be inside you.
Maybe you can also teach me some dancing.
And finally – maybe you can show me what love is, your love – so come to me, live my life…stay with me.
Waiting for your reply.
Love
Shan.
Herzklopfen – die Tür zu einer Zauberwelt hatte sich lautlos geöffnet,
… ein schwarzer Schatten läuft leise maunzend vor mir her …
Welche Frau hätte jetzt noch ihrer Neugierde, Entdeckungsfreude, Sehnsucht nach … IHM widerstehen können?
Ich nicht.
Und nahm ein Grollen am Firmament wahr, wie leises Donnern, doch waren es die Stühle der Götter, die sie sich gemütlich zusammenrückten.
Herzklopfen.
Und so teile ich dem Mann, den ich zu lieben begonnen habe und den ich begehre, meine Wahrheit, mein Fühlen mit.
Beatrice 11. Januar
Dear Shan – In my experience we are not asked, if we are on holiday, at the butchers, on the North Pole or working …Sometimes fate suddenly – when we are not thinking about it – makes a surprising gift: to meet and gives a chance of feelings (love). Yes: you can ignore (run behind your brain-made plan because it is unusual, the person not in your „ideal age" for having a child…and what ever there are more excuses just to escape?) Are things like age, children, money, prestige…a guarantee for becoming happy in your relationship? Or doesn’t it belong to the way two persons treat each other? And discover their souls, their hearts, correspondence? For sure – we will find out. A challenge for both of us.
It is also my decision and my adventure as well to discover a man in a strange continent. And be discovered by him. We will solve problems like adult persons if it will become bad – so nobody has to feel guilty.
And perhaps we will enjoy the time like children under Christmas tree when we build up a tender feeling of understanding. And maybe there is love flowing between us… I am not quite sure – perhaps – but staying at your place will offer some "rainbow-possibilities".
Well, you are a couple of years younger than me – but does being able for real loving somebody depend of the reason how long a person walks through this world or more of an open heart and deep soul?
Ideal physically maybe – but ideal for to be real loved – that doesn't depend of age and – to functionalise a person is a guarantee for the lack of love…You also can become a father adopting a child for instance – to be father or mother is a thing from your open heart, not from a really birth. Besides there are lots of street-children I was feeding (so you could do that regularly or help them for education) every time is the chance to act like a father.
I even told you that I want to discover you and love to be discovered by you in a special way. To be clear: I’m interested as a woman in you as a man not only as a friend (smile) – Starting a relationship includes several parts for both in my understanding:
Friendship, having sex, be lovers, be mother, nurse, brother, lover, friend and finally achieve the person we all finally are looking for, in love, in trust!
Shan, that’s my reply and surprise: I booked a flight this afternoon, just when you phoned – for the 30th of January, my birthday! Now it’s your decision if you want to welcome me: At 22.45 o’clock arriving time at Cap Town Airport…Love Beatrice
Und weil das Spiel der Götter bereits begonnen hatte, wurde genau an meinem Geburtstag ein Sonderflug nach Cape Town frei, es ist dann nahezu einen Monat nachdem ich von Shan weg bin, es würde so gut
… zu gut, flüstert jemand …
passen, und ich folge meiner Begeisterung, meiner Intuition, und meinem Sehnen. Und er hat noch mein rotes Negligé bei sich, von mir unbewusst liegengelassen in seinem Backpacker…was für ein Symbol!
Shan 12. Januar
Your red night `dress` is a bit tight to me…I’m sure, you look stunning in it. Can’t sleep with this thoughts.
Beatrice
Than think about the surprise that’s coming per email soon sealed with a kiss!
Und jetzt macht mein Herz kleine Freudensprünge, da innen, in diesem Frauenkörper.
Und die Götter lächeln mir zu.
* * *
Shan 14. Januar
Dear Beatrice, I've got Heart beating
I am excited by you coming out here. I was planning to take a medical course that would have required me to attend classes 2 evenings a week and the whole of Saturday. I am sure that I will be able to postpone this, then we can go away for a week or maybe two. Forgetting about the rest.
What would you like to see or do in S Africa? Let me know now. What do you like doing besides riding, healing and dancing? Do you think that you will be able to fly with me in a small plane/microlight?
When you land it will be at least 1 hour before you get your luggage and out of customs, maybe longer! What do you want to do first?
Going to look for some lunch now.
Kisses – Shan.
Er freut sich – genauso wie ich!
Und was ich als erstes tun möchte? Ihn fühlen, küssen, bei ihm ankommen, seine Arme spüren - all das, was eine Frau natürlich tun möchte mit dem Mann, den
