The truth is that you can have lunch somewhere else, probably without ants. And you’re damned lucky to be able to have lunch at all today. So is it really bad that it’s raining? Nope.
People tend to use the word “bad” a lot in relation to food, which also creates problems. Some foods work better for certain people than others. Those foods aren’t good or bad—and neither are the people who eat them! Even eating something obviously “bad,” such as an MSG-filled vegan pseudoburger, is better than starving to death. The word “bad” creates a false binary. The world doesn’t naturally fall into two camps. Sure, there are things that are truly tragic, such as violence and natural disasters, but when it comes to our everyday lives, judging things through a filter of either good or bad is limiting and creates unnecessary obstacles and black-and-white thinking. When you label something “bad,” you miss out on an opportunity to figure out how it can be good.
WEASEL WORD 4: TRY
“Try” always presupposes a likelihood of failure. Think about it. If someone says he’s going to try to pick you up at the airport when you land, are you going to count on him to do it? No way. You know that there is a good chance he won’t show up. However, if someone says he is going to pick you up, you can believe it. If you tell yourself that you’re going to try to stay on a diet or try to read a book, you’ve subconsciously already planned to fail. You won’t do it.
Jack illustrates the power of “try” during his powerful keynote presentations when he asks audience members to put something (a notebook, a pen, or whatever else they have handy) on their laps and lift it up. After they do it and put it back down, he says, “Now this time just try to pick it up.” That confuses everyone, and they don’t move for a moment. Then a few people start to pick up the item, but suddenly they’re struggling with the same item they lifted effortlessly a moment ago, as if it had gained several pounds. This is because as soon as you hear the word “try,” you assume that whatever you are going to “try” to do might not be possible. It gives your brain an out.
The point is that in order to become a better human, you want to push your brain to perform at its full potential instead of giving yourself an excuse to fail. This doesn’t mean that you have to do everything that is asked of you. If you don’t think that something is the best use of your time and mental energy, you can honestly and clearly (and kindly) say no. But if you choose to take something on, commit to it with all your might. As Yoda said, “There is no try. Only do.” Do you think he developed Jedi powers merely by trying? No way, and the point is that neither will you.
Action Items
Ask someone at work and someone at home to call you out when you use weasel words and to fine you a dollar to put into a jar for charity (or the office coffee fund) when you do.
Set your computer’s autocorrect to automatically capitalize or highlight weasel words so you’ll have to change them to more truthful words. It’s amazing how frequent reminders drive behavior change!
Recommended Listening
JJ Virgin, “Fighting for Miracles,” Bulletproof Radio, episode 386
Jack Canfield, “Go Beyond Chicken Soup & Confront Your Fears,” Bulletproof Radio, episode 471
Recommended Reading
JJ Virgin, Miracle Mindset: A Mother, Her Son, and Life’s Hardest Lessons
Jack Canfield with Janet Switzer, The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
GET INTO THE HABIT OF GETTING SMARTER
Doctors and other scientists used to believe that we were born with a brain that was either high functioning or not. Either you were inherently wired to be smart, focused, and able to learn easily—or you weren’t. It wasn’t until around the end of the twentieth century that scientists began to understand the concept of neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to grow new cells and forge new neural connections throughout your life.
You can use these new cells and newly formed connections to develop new habits and beliefs, learn faster, and remember more effectively. These are dramatic upgrades that can have an enormous impact on your performance in every aspect of life. It also means that if you think you’re not smart enough or not good enough, it doesn’t matter. You can change it.
An overwhelming number of my podcast guests believe that creating good habits and discipline is one of the most important things you can do to perform better as a human being. In fact, this answer came in third out of anything in the world to improve performance, even ahead of education. These innovators know that your habits, the things you do every day without even thinking about them, to a great extent determine who you are and what you are capable of.
Yet creating new habits is not as simple as making resolutions. To transform your actions into automatic habits that you can use without conscious effort, your mind must create new neural networks. It follows that anything you can do to maximize your ability to create these pathways will help you actually wire in the habits that will benefit your performance. Habits work because they free up mental space for doing big things. The new habits and strategies highlighted in this chapter’s laws will help you transform your false beliefs and allow you to learn faster, remember more easily, and ultimately make space in your head and your life so you can more quickly and easily achieve your goals.
Law 4: Even Your False Beliefs Are True
The beliefs you hold and the stories you tell yourself shape your internal model of reality. When your model is wrong, you build broken habits and make decisions that don’t create what you want. You suffer. A flexible mind changes itself and builds a better model as it gathers more data about reality. Build a flexible mind with the built-in habit of questioning your assumptions about reality so you can grow.
Vishen Lakhiani has been a meditation teacher for more than twenty years and runs the world’s largest meditation training program online. His two-hundred-person company, Mindvalley, has enabled him to become a substantial philanthropist, and his bestselling book, The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed on Your Own Terms, teaches you how to optimize your brain for prime happiness and performance.
In his interview, Vishen shared with me how he came to believe a false story about himself. He is of South Asian descent, but he grew up in Asia, where he looked different from the other kids. He had a larger nose than most of his classmates and more hair on his arms and legs. The other boys called him Gorilla Legs and Hook Nose, and Vishen internalized those messages. As his mind, which he calls a “meaning-matching machine,” tried to make sense of the world around it, as all young minds do, it created the meaning that he was ugly, and he held on to that belief for many years.
Vishen refers to these types of stories and beliefs as our hardware, because they are instilled in us, usually before the age of seven, much as hardware is installed in a computer. We do not deliberately choose them. Authority figures, our society and culture, our education systems, and the observations we make as children indoctrinate such beliefs into us at a very young age. If we allow them to go unquestioned, they can have a hugely detrimental impact on our lives. Our beliefs tell us how important we are, what we are capable of, our role in society, and so on. If our beliefs
