had to take part of the blame. He had no reason to feel angry with Rebecca for anything to do with her involvement in Penelope’s case. He was letting personal baggage affect his relationship with a colleague to such an extent, it was actually difficult to make eye contact with her right now.
He looked down at the laptop in his hands.
‘So what do you suggest? That we call in a different cardiologist? In case you hadn’t noticed, they’ve been short-staffed around here ever since the threat of the merger got real. That’s why I agreed to take on a permanent position again.’
A brief upwards glance showed that Rebecca’s gaze was on him. Steady and unrelenting. He held her gaze for a heartbeat. And then another as those dark eyes across the length of the table merged with that flash of memory he’d had during his presentation—when they’d been looking up at him for reassurance that she had his support when she’d been facing one of her biggest challenges.
A different lifetime.
One in which giving and receiving that kind of reassurance and support had been as automatic as breathing. When success for either of them had created a shared pride so huge it could make it hard to catch a breath and when failure was turned into a learning experience that could only make you a better person. A lifetime that had been iced with so much laughter.
So much love...
It had been a long time since that loss had kicked him quite this hard. A wave of sadness blurred the edges of any anger he still had.
‘That’s not what I’m suggesting,’ Rebecca said quietly. ‘Penny deserves the best care available and, on either side of the actual surgery, you are the person who can provide that.’
‘And you are the person who can provide the best surgical care,’ he responded. ‘She deserves that, too.’ He closed his eyes in a slow blink and then met her gaze again. ‘So what is it that you are suggesting?’
‘That we talk. Not here,’ she added quickly. ‘Somewhere more...’ She cleared her throat. ‘Somewhere else.’
Had she been going to suggest somewhere more private? Like the house they’d lived in with Gwen that Rebecca had refused to sell?
He couldn’t do that. What if she still had all those pictures on the walls? That old basket with the toys in it, even?
‘I’m going for a walk after work,’ Rebecca said quietly. ‘Through Regent’s Park and over to Primrose Hill. It’s a gorgeous day. Why don’t you come with me?’
A walk. In a public place. Enough space that nobody would be able to overhear anything that might be said and the ability to walk away if it proved impossible to find common ground without this horrible tension.
Except they had to find that common ground, didn’t they, if they were going to work together?
If they couldn’t, Thomas would have to add a failure to remain professional to the list of his other shortcomings and this one wouldn’t be private—it would be fodder for gossip and damaging for both their careers.
And his career was all he had left now.
‘Fine.’ He nodded. ‘Page me when you’re done for the day. I’ll be here.’
* * *
Out of one meeting and straight into another.
Rebecca only had time to duck into her office and grab a folder from her desk before heading down to the coffee shop on the ground floor where the committee members in charge of organising the Teddy Bears’ Picnic would be waiting for her.
The countdown was on for the annual event that Rebecca had been instrumental in setting up four years ago and this one promised to be the biggest and best yet.
The committee president, a mother of a child with cystic fibrosis who had received a double lung transplant six years ago, waved excitedly at Rebecca and she weaved her way through the busy café opposite the pharmacy on the ground floor.
‘We had to start without you, I’m afraid.’
‘No problem, Janice. I’m so sorry I’m late.’ It seemed to be becoming the theme of her day today, but at least she didn’t have anyone glaring at her. Janice was beaming, in fact.
‘I’ve got such good news. Your suggestion to contact the president of the World Transplant Games Federation really paid off. We’re going to have trouble choosing which inspirational speakers we want the most.’
‘Oh? That’s fantastic.’ Rebecca smiled up at the young waitress taking orders. ‘I’ll have a flat white, please. And one of your gorgeous savoury muffins.’ The way her day was shaping up, it was highly likely to be the only lunch she would get.
‘We’ve got an offer from a man called Jeremy Gibson. He got a liver transplant when he was in his early thirties and had three young children. He’s competed in the games for four years now and, last year, he led a sponsored hike in the Himalayas to raise awareness for organ donation and advertise how successful it can be.’
Rebecca nodded but she wasn’t quite focused on this new meeting yet. The way Thomas had looked at her—after he’d asked if she wanted to call in a new cardiologist for Penny’s case...
The tension had still been there. That undercurrent of anger that she knew had been caused by her telling him that he always ran away was still there. But there’d been something else, as well. A sadness that had made her want to walk around the edge of that table and simply put her arms around him.
To tell him how sorry she was.
For everything.
That was a bit of a shock, all by itself. She was over the breakup of her marriage.
She was over Thomas.
Who, in their right mind, would choose to be with someone who simply wasn’t there when the going got too rough?
‘And then there’s Helena Adams,’ Janice continued. ‘A double lung recipient who’s a champion skier and...’ She consulted a notepad on the table in front of her. ‘And Connor O’Brien—a young heart transplant recipient who ran in the London Marathon last year.’
‘They all sound amazing,’ Rebecca said.
‘Maybe they could all come,’ their treasurer suggested. ‘They don’t all have to speak. They could just mingle and join in some of the fun and chat to parents and kids. And the press, of course. We’re going to get way more coverage this year, what with the threat to Paddington’s already getting so much publicity.’
‘We’ve got three television crews coming,’ the secretary added. ‘We’re going international, apparently.’ She fanned her face. ‘This is all getting so much bigger than we ever thought it would.’
‘Okay.’ Janice’s deep breath was audible. ‘Let’s get on with everything on the agenda. We’ve got a lot to get through. Has the bouncy castle been booked?’
‘Yes. It’s huge. And it’s got turrets and everything. I’ve got a picture here...’
‘Oh, it’s perfect,’
