knees, his head in his hands, and forced himself to take a deep breath.
‘Where is she? Tell me what happened.’
He listened as between Helen’s sobs she told him what had transpired. ‘We’re at the hospital now. The doctor has just come to speak to me. She has a brain tumour.’
A tumour.
The rest of the conversation was a blur as Quinn spoke first to Helen and then to the doctor. He forced himself to concentrate as they discussed Julieanne’s condition but he knew he’d only registered the basic facts and they were far from good.
When the conversation ended he stood up from the ottoman on shaky legs. His hands were shaking too as he pocketed his phone. He was struggling to breathe. He could feel his larynx spasm as he tried to relax his diaphragm and take a breath. He needed air. To his right was the hotel entrance. To his left was the conference room. He looked back towards the bar, back to the room where he had left Ali. But he couldn’t go back into the bar. Not yet. He needed fresh air.
He pushed open the hotel’s front door, not waiting for the doorman’s assistance. The hotel was built on the banks of the Brisbane River and Quinn crossed to the embankment in three long strides. He gripped the railings at the river’s edge, anchoring himself as he gulped the fresh, evening air and tried to make sense of the conversation he’d just had. But even as he was trying to get things straight in his head he knew there was no making sense of it. It was a horrible, unimaginable situation to be in.
He stared blankly into the depths of the dark water swirling below him. Growing up on the Sunshine Coast of Queensland, he’d always had an affinity for water and it was something else he’d missed while stationed in Afghanistan. Normally he found water soothing but tonight it wasn’t allaying his fears. It wasn’t soothing. It wasn’t calming. He’d been craving calm since his return from Afghanistan but now he couldn’t imagine things ever being calm again.
He had no idea how long he stood there, staring into the water, but gradually he became aware of people around him, couples and groups strolling along the pathway, giving him sideways glances as they passed by. He made himself relax his grip on the railing. Relax his shoulders. He knew he couldn’t stay outside hoping the water and fresh air would revive him. He didn’t have the luxury of time. He had things to do. He had plans to make. He had responsibilities.
He retraced his steps to the hotel. The doorman saw him coming and opened the door. Quinn nodded without really registering the service as he passed through. He headed for the bank of lifts adjacent to the conference room where he had been minutes before. He hesitated at the door, searching for a flash of red. His eyes ran along the length of the bar. Nothing. He scanned the room and found her.
He wished he could go in. He could do with some of the serenity that seemed to envelop her but she wasn’t alone. Her friends had arrived and she was gathered within their circle.
He wished he could go in but he had no right to interrupt her. No right to demand her attention. She didn’t need his problems. He had thought his life was complicated enough twenty minutes ago. If only he could have that life back. But in the space of twenty minutes his life had changed irrevocably. There was no going back.
He took one last look at Ali’s red lips and wished he could taste them. Just once. But he couldn’t go back. He could only go forward. He had to do what he had to do. His daughters would need him and, as always, he would put them first. He turned his back on the bar and headed for the lifts with heavy steps.
The lift doors closed, cutting him off from Ali, taking him out of her life.
Quinn took another deep breath as he prepared himself for what lay ahead. There was no time to think about anything else. There was no time for ifs, buts and maybes. There was only reality. His present no longer consisted of raven hair and cherry lips. His present consisted of responsibility and duty.
Ali
ALI PUSHED OPEN the clinic door and unwound her scarf as she felt the warmth of the waiting room begin to defrost her face. She was so over winter. It had been unseasonably cold and long, even by Adelaide Hills standards, and the few days she’d spent in the Brisbane warmth for the medical conference seemed a lifetime ago. Her skin had forgotten the feeling of the Queensland sun over the past six weeks and she couldn’t wait for summer.
She undid the buttons on her new winter coat, a scarlet, woollen swing coat that she’d bought to lift her spirits and help her get through the last weeks of cold weather. Her spirits needed lifting, she needed something to look forward to. She loved her job but lately it had lacked excitement. It had become routine. The last time she’d felt excited about anything had been in Brisbane. The night she’d met Quinn.
She sighed. Her life was a pretty sad state of affairs if a ten-minute conversation was the highlight of the past few months. But there was no denying she’d enjoyed it and no denying she had spent far too much time thinking about him. Wondering why he hadn’t come back. Wondering what had happened to him.
Despite telling herself she no longer believed in fate, she hadn’t been able to shake off the idea that they had been destined to meet. But even she wasn’t delusional enough not to realise she was romanticising things. Quinn had probably had no intention of coming back, he’d probably thought she was dull and ordinary and had been desperate for an escape, whereas she’d thought he was interesting and charismatic.
She’d spent so much time thinking about him that on occasions since getting home her subconscious had tricked her into thinking she’d caught fleeting glimpses of him. But of course it was just her imagination working overtime because when she’d look a second time she would see it was just another solidly built man with cropped blond hair or that the person had disappeared from view completely.
Imagined sightings, unfinished conversations and scant memories were all she had.
She knew she wanted to find love but she was sensible enough to realise it wasn’t going to be Quinn Daniels who would sweep her off her feet. No matter how much she wished it. Daydreams weren’t going to change anything, she thought as she shrugged out of her coat. It was time to move on.
She glanced around the waiting room. There were a couple of patients sitting quietly but no one she recognised. She wasn’t actually due at the clinic for another hour as she’d finished her nursing-home visits earlier than expected so she assumed they weren’t waiting for her.
‘Ali, there you are.’ The receptionist’s chirpy voice greeted her as she emerged from the back of the clinic. It sounded as though Tracey had been waiting for her but Ali couldn’t imagine why as she was well ahead of schedule. ‘Your mum wants to see you as soon as you get in,’ Tracey added.
The medical practice had been started by Ali’s mum when Ali and her brother had still been in nappies. The building that was now the surgery had been their family home but as the practice had expanded their family had moved into a bigger house nearby and the clinic had taken over the building. Ali had spent many hours in the practice, playing in her younger years and helping out with various odd jobs as she’d got older, and she’d always known she wanted to work there one day. Her mum had shown her it was possible to balance a career and a family successfully and that had been Ali’s dream too. Until recently.
Until recently Ali had been quite content working as a GP. She enjoyed knowing
