is Neville?’ The office is oddly empty, with only the four of us present (although Jasper may as well not be here). ‘And Denise?’
‘Neville’s gone to that brand-building conference, though I think it’s just an excuse for a jolly.’ Adam lifts a flap of my tights and I hiss again. ‘Sorry. I think I’m going to have to cut away a bit of your tights. You don’t mind, do you?’ I shake my head. They’re ruined anyway. ‘Denise is over at the development kitchen. They’re almost ready with the new line.’
Which means Denise is stuffing herself with delicious new biscuits.
‘Are you ready?’ Adam has a small pair of scissors hovering over my tights. I nod, thankful I shaved my legs before going to the pub last night.
Francesca Holden (soon-to-be Radcliffe)
Text Message:
Francesca: Hello, darling! It’s been soooooo long since I saw you! Let’s meet up soon!
Delilah: I’m free at the weekend
Francesca: This weekend is no good for me – Jeremy is whisking me away to Venice!
Delilah: The weekend after?
Francesca: Also difficult! I have a client meeting on the Saturday and a christening on the Sunday. Sorry!
Delilah: No problem. Let me know when you’re free and we’ll meet up
Francesca: I’ll have a good look through my diary and let you know!
You’d think falling bum-over-boob onto the pavement would be the low point of my day, but you’d be wrong. There is far worse to come and this Monday will forever be known as The Worst Monday Ever. At least to me.
With my cut knee now clean and covered in a plaster, I’ve spent the morning working my way through my in-tray, which is as boring as it sounds and isn’t helped by my raging hangover. With my thumping head and throbbing knee, my body is now a one-man-band of drumming.
‘The salted caramel shortbread is going to be a hit,’ Denise announces as she deigns to join us shortly before lunch. It must be a hard life for the woman, being paid to stuff herself with biscuits. ‘Has Neville called while I’ve been out of the office?’
‘How would she know?’ Katey-Louise asks as Denise directs the question at me. ‘She’s only just got in herself.’
Denise arches an eyebrow at me. There’s a tiny shortbread crumb stuck to the corner.
‘She’s exaggerating,’ I tell the crumb, unable to tear my eyes away from it. ‘I was only a tiny bit late and I have a valid excuse.’ Denise and the crumb wait for my explanation. ‘I had an accident.’ I swivel in my chair and stick out my leg to showcase my plaster.
‘She was mugged,’ Adam says.
‘Mugged?’ Denise had been observing my injured knee with disdain but she sits up straighter now. The eyebrow crumb plops off onto the carpet. ‘Have you phoned the police?’
Whoa, hold on there, missy. I’ve quite enjoyed the attention my busted knee has garnered but involving the police is going a bit too far. What if they check the local CCTV cameras and discover I’ve been telling porkies?
‘There’s no need. They didn’t take anything.’ I give my blonde hair a nonchalant flick. ‘I fought them off.’
‘Them?’ Katey-Louise’s eyes narrow until they’re totally obliterated by the ridiculously long false eyelashes. ‘I thought there was only one mugger?’
‘Him. I fought him off.’
‘It doesn’t matter how many there were,’ Denise says. ‘You have to report it to the police. What if he strikes again?’
‘He won’t.’ I can be pretty confident in my statement, what with the mugger being a figment of my imagination.
‘He might!’ Denise’s eyes widen. ‘What if he attacks my Katey-Lou?’ Denise picks up the phone off her desk. ‘What’s the number for the local station? Or should I phone nine-nine-nine?’
‘You should do neither.’ Leaping out of my chair – which causes my knee to double its throbbing tempo – I grab the receiver and replace it before Denise’s fingers can reach the buttons. ‘I’ll pop into the station on my way home.’
‘Good idea.’ Thankfully Denise lets it go. My little fib was about to spiral out of control so I’m glad I’ve managed to rein it back. It’s almost like a forewarning of what is to come but I don’t take heed.
Limping back to my desk, I return to my in-tray, which somehow looks just as overflowing as when I arrived at the office earlier this morning. My next task is one of my least favourite; inputting the absences from the previous week into the payroll report and making sure we have a sickness or holiday form on file to cover it. It usually involves chasing up managers and supervisors on the shop floor so I’m glad of the interruption of my mobile phone, even if it does earn me a glare from Denise. I flash her my plaster and her face softens slightly.
My oldest friend’s name flashes up on the screen and it’s as I press to answer the call and place the phone against my ear that I remember my plans with Francesca.
‘Delilah, darling!’ Francesca cries before I can utter a word. ‘I am so sorry. My meeting ran over and I’m only just leaving the office. But I will be there, I promise.’
I’m supposed to be having lunch with Francesca. Right now. I forgot all about it but I can’t cancel as pinning Francesca down is like trying to catch a fly with chopsticks. It may be a breeze for Mr Miyagi but it’s near impossible for the rest of us.
‘Don’t worry about it. I’m not there yet myself. I’m stuck in traffic.’ I pray that the rest of the office will remain silent and not give the game away. ‘I’ll see you soon.’
My second lie of the day. My third will be a biggie.
Francesca is already seated by the window of the café we’ve arranged to meet in, a huge mug of frothy coffee and an untouched sandwich sitting in front of her as she flicks through a magazine. She doesn’t spot me until I’m standing right in front of her.
‘Delilah, darling!’ Flicking the interior design magazine closed, Francesca springs out of her seat and envelops me in a sweet-smelling hug, a delicious mix of fruity shampoo and designer perfume. ‘It’s so good to see you. You look great!’
‘Thank you.’ Francesca always looks so well presented, leaving me feeling like a tramp in comparison, so I’m glad we’ve arranged to meet during the week as my work clothes are at least more presentable than the old, worn jeans and Converse that I favour at the weekends. Of course I don’t look as sophisticated as Francesca, but that’s never going to happen, no matter what I wear. Francesca is an interior designer – and pretty successful too. She always knows what look suits every single occasion and she’s like a walking
