in the restaurant indicated that the incident was already largely forgotten, cleared away along with the debris from Laura’s table.
Alex had gone outside to see Laura and her friends into a taxi, and Marie saw him turn, leaning back against the railings that separated the pavement from the front of the restaurant, staring up at the scrap of sky that showed between the tops of the buildings. It appeared that his easy, relaxed air had been all for Laura’s sake.
Whatever the last year of medical school had thrown at them, Alex had always bounced back, but now he seemed brooding, almost heartbroken. There was definitely something wrong.
Maybe she could help. Maybe he’d stayed outside hoping she’d join him. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d confided in each other, and Marie had always wanted him to feel he could talk to her about anything.
She picked up Alex’s jacket from the back of his chair and slipped away from the table.
Alex had been looking forward to seeing Marie again. He’d wondered whether he should confide in her, and now that he’d sent Laura safely on her way the yearning to do so reasserted itself. He knew he wouldn’t, though. Marie normally understood everything, but she wouldn’t be able to understand how difficult the last few months had been. She’d struggled for everything she had, and it felt somehow wrong to confide his pain and dismay at finding he had much more than enough of everything.
‘Aren’t you cold?’
When he heard her voice it didn’t come as much of a surprise. Maybe that was what he was doing out here, shivering under the street lamps: waiting for Marie to come and find him.
‘Not really.’ He took his jacket from her, wrapping it around her shoulders. The pleasure he got from the gesture seemed way out of proportion to its true worth.
‘That was a bit like old times.’
She turned her gaze on him and suddenly it felt a lot like old times.
‘Yes. I’m glad Laura’s okay.’
‘She has you to thank for that. So, since we seem to be out here, and your jacket’s nice and warm…’ Marie gave him an impish smile. ‘You can tell me what the matter is.’
It was tempting. Alex had never been able to resist her eyes. Almost violet in the sunlight and deep blue in the shade. She wore her dark hair in a shining pixie cut, and Alex always thought of mischief and magic when he looked at her.
‘I’m fine…just tired. You remember tired?’ He smiled at her.
She chuckled. ‘Remember that time you came round to my place and I’d been up all night working on abstracts?’
‘I’ve never seen anyone actually fall asleep while they’re drinking coffee before. Particularly since I’d made it so strong…’
Marie had got a job writing abstracts for scientific papers, which had been more lucrative than waitressing and had fitted around their busy study schedule better. Working and studying at the same time had been a struggle for her, but Alex had learned early in their friendship that she never took help from anyone.
Suddenly he was back in that time when he’d first felt completely free. Marie’s two shabby rooms, right at the top of a multiple-occupancy house, had been as clean as one pair of hands could scrub them, and full of outrageous low-cost colour.
‘Funny thing about that…’ Marie gave him a knowing look. ‘When I woke up you were gone, but I sat down to review my abstracts and found they were all perfect. Not a spelling or grammar mistake in any of them.’
Alex had reckoned he’d got away with that. He’d tried to make Marie stand up but she’d slumped against him, still asleep, so he’d had to practically carry her into the bedroom. He’d taken off her cardigan and shoes and decided to stop there, covering her up with the brightly patterned quilt. He’d sometimes imagined their two bodies naked together under that quilt. But Marie was far too good a friend, too good a person, to contemplate having a throwaway romance with her.
Alex had glanced at the document that was open on her laptop, meaning to close it down. He’d seen a mistake in the text, and had sat down and worked through everything, correcting the slips that fatigue had forced upon her.
‘You must do your best work when you’re flying on autopilot.’ He tried to maintain a straight face.
‘I suppose I must. Apparently I also spell synthesise with a z.’
‘Really? There must be a study in there somewhere. How fatigue alters your spelling choices.’ Alex shrugged guiltily. ‘They’re both correct, according the dictionary.’
‘Yes, they are. Although I imagine that “ize” as a verb ending is considered either an anachronism or an American spelling these days.’ She smirked at him.
‘You can mock if you want. Just because I went to a school that prided itself on having been the same for the last few hundred years…’ Alex had hated school. It had been only slightly less snobby and suffocating than his parents’ home.
‘I’m not mocking; I thought it was very sweet of you.’ She took a step towards him. ‘Along with all those expensive textbooks you used to lend me. And dropping round to pick me up so I didn’t have to take the bus.’
‘Why bring that up all of a sudden? Just to let me know I’m not as tactful as I thought I was?’ Alex wondered if he was in for a lecture about how she could have managed perfectly well on her own.
Marie shook her head. ‘You were very tactful. I hardly even noticed what you were doing most of the time. And you were my friend and you helped me. That’s something that goes both ways.’
He knew that. But he couldn’t talk to Marie about this. ‘I’m fine. Really. And I appreciate your concern.’
‘Just as long as you know that I’m always here for you.’
She reached out, touching his arm, and Alex almost flinched. All his senses were crying out for comfort, and yet he just couldn’t bring himself to ask. Was this the way she’d felt, despite all her self-sufficiency?
‘I know. Thank you.’
He’d meant to give her a basic friendly hug, the kind he’d given her so many times before. But when he felt her body against his he couldn’t let her go. Marie seemed to be the one thing in his life that wasn’t tainted right now.
He leaned down to kiss her cheek. But she turned her head and his lips brushed hers. Before he could tear himself away her gaze met his, her eyes midnight-blue in the darkness.
What if…?
What if…?
What if he could turn his back on the vision of his parents’ unhappy marriage and sustain a relationship for more than a few months? What if he could trust himself to get involved with the one person he cared about the most, even knowing he might break her heart and his? And what if everything he’d sought to escape hadn’t just caught him again in its iron clutches?
They
