like a cop-out at this point. They were past that. She wanted them to be past that. Maybe it’s time I stop fighting it and admit the truth? Trish opened her mouth to break all their rules and broach the subject of them, but the distracted look on his face had her chickening out. “Have you been to London before?”
“A few times.” He refocused on her and nudged over the menu. “How’d the day go?”
Guess we’re talking about work, after all. “It was good. The time difference means a slight lag in emails, but nothing too dramatic has hit since we’ve been gone. I set up two meetings with potential new clients for the week after next. I figured a little cushion time wasn’t a bad idea in case complications arose with the current job.”
“Trish.”
She dragged her gaze up to his. God, he was gorgeous. The square jaw that she’d spent plenty of time dragging her mouth along, and the sensuous lips and deep, dark eyes. She pressed her own lips together, sure she could still taste him there if she concentrated. “Yeah?”
“I didn’t ask how work went. I asked how your day went. Did you manage to get out and see anything or were you locked up with a computer the entire time I was gone?”
“It’s my job to be locked up with a computer during the day.” When he just stared, she sighed and relented. “I took an extra-long lunch break and went to see the Tower of London. The weather was kind of dreary, but it just set the tone.” She smiled a little.
Cameron leaned forward, a small smile tugging at his lips. “For someone who’s the personification of a ray of sunshine, you sure as hell have a lot of obsessions with dark shit.”
“I like it. It’s good to try and focus on the positive in life, but that doesn’t mean you ignore all the stuff that goes bump in the night. It’s entirely possible that Richard III had his nephews murdered in that tower. If that’s not a horror story for the ages, I don’t know what is.” She made a face. “Though, to be honest, a lot of the Tudors could have starred in their own horror show. They were pretty freaking terrible.” And she loved it. If ever there was a family that acted as a cautionary tale for the corruption of power, it was that one.
“It’s a shame we don’t have time to visit Amsterdam after we’re finished here. There’s all sorts of macabre museums and things to see there.” He picked up his menu. “Maybe next time.”
Next time.
The two innocent little words rang through her like a gong. He’d thrown them out so casually, too. As if they were a given, as if they wouldn’t rock her right down to her core. “Cameron.” She waited for him to set the menu down and give her his full attention. “What are we doing?”
“Trying to get dinner.” He frowned. “Ah, I see. You mean what are we doing.” The slightest of hesitations, so slight she wouldn’t have seen it if she wasn’t watching him so closely. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about that yet.”
“I changed my mind.” She’d gone too far to backtrack now. They’d gone too far. “I like you,” she blurted out. “I know that’s inconvenient and you were very clear about boundaries and limits, but I’ve never been all that good about following the rules, and I like you, okay? I can’t help it.”
“There are more than a few people who’d think you were crazy for that.”
She glared. “Can you be serious, please?”
“I am being serious. Are you sure it’s not the intimacy of sex that’s clouding your judgment?”
For the love of God. She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you seriously trying to talk me out of liking you? Who does that?” But she knew who did that—Cameron O’Clery. The man was nothing if not obstinate.
“No. Definitely not.” He reached out and grabbed her hand. “I’m saying this wrong... Which shouldn’t surprise you. I’m simply trying to understand the change of heart.”
It would be so easy to retreat, to agree that, yeah, she’d let the sex go to her head, and no, she wasn’t really falling for him. It wouldn’t be the truth, though. The truth was that she liked Cameron despite the fact she couldn’t see an outcome where this wouldn’t blow up in their faces. One way or another, it would end in tears. She wouldn’t stay with Tandem forever, and if she pursued the job she’d gotten a degree for, she’d be traveling. Between that kind of work and the number of hours Cameron put into the company, she didn’t see how it could possibly work.
If he even wanted it to work.
He still hadn’t said anything in response.
Maybe because he still waited for an explanation from her.
She cleared her throat. “I have always had a very clear idea of where I want my life to go and what I want it to look like. It hasn’t worked out. Not once. This is the first time where the plan falling apart might not be the end of the world. I didn’t plan on enjoying spending time with you so much, but I do. I don’t know if I can go back to not being with you once we go home.”
CAMERON WATCHED TRISH try and fail to dredge up her sunny smile. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Fake it.” She was sunny normally, but she also used it to retreat when she felt awkward or exposed. The fact that it was sometimes genuine had confused him at first, but now he had a better read on her. He wouldn’t let her take back what she’d just put out there between them. Cameron squeezed her hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles. “You don’t have to hide from me.”
“You’ve said something like that to me before.”
“It was true then. It’s true now.” He had to release her when the waitress finally approached, all apologies for the wait. They ordered food and drinks and as soon as the woman headed to plug the order in, Cameron turned back to Trish. “I like you, too.” More than like you. He knew her well enough to know he couldn’t push harder than he already had. “We’re in this together.”
“How is this even going to work?”
She always had a plan, and her plans didn’t always work out. He reclaimed her hand, wanting to touch her as much as he wanted to offer her a physical touchstone to back up his verbal one. “Occasionally, it’s okay to play things by ear.”
She snorted. “You don’t believe that any more than I do.”
It wasn’t how he normally lived his life—winging it. Cameron liked a plan as much as Trish seemed to. A plan created boundaries and expectations and efficient measuring sticks for progress. Plans worked great for school and co-running his own business.
One area he’d learned plans didn’t work for shit?
Relationships.
He brought her hand up and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “I enjoy the time I spend with you.”
She
