room, with windows giving the crew an incredibly wide view of the sea. There were enough computers to make it look like a spaceship rather than a cruise ship.
Captain McManus, a tall, gray-haired man with sharp brown eyes and an easy smile, welcomed them both then took Jack to one side to go over a few things. Rita didn’t mind. It gave her a chance to look around and appreciate the nearly bird’s-eye view of the ocean and the Long Beach harbor.
There were two tall command chairs that reminded her of something off the Starship Enterprise’s bridge and counters filled with screens, blinking lights and men and women busily going over everything. She could only imagine how busy they were when they were actually at sea.
And what would that be like, she wondered. Being on this luxurious ship, sailing off to other countries, meeting new people. She looked up at Jack. “You’ve been on a lot of cruises, haven’t you?”
“A few,” he said, looking out over the water. “When we were kids, my folks liked to pile us all on one of the ships for a couple of weeks.” His features softened at the good memory. “Mom used to say it was the only way she could get all of us to stay in the same place for any length of time.”
“That must have been fun,” she said, a little wistfully. “I’ve never been on one myself. Just a little too spooky, I guess. All of that water—”
He shook his head and said, “Doesn’t seem that way, though. Once you’re on board, it’s like you’re on your own private island.”
“Well,” she said, glancing around, “this ship is big enough that maybe even I wouldn’t be nervous.”
“I can’t imagine you scared of anything,” Jack said.
She looked up into his eyes. If he only knew that the one thing that scared her was losing him again. She’d mourned him once and now she had him back. Rita was determined that she wouldn’t let him go this time.
“You ready to see other parts of the ship?”
She half turned to look up at Jack. “Sure. I’d love to. But first let me say, the bridge is amazing. And a little disappointing, too,” she added.
“Really?” The captain laughed and asked, “Why?”
“Well, it sounds silly, but I sort of expected to see a wheel up here.”
Jack smiled and the captain let out a laugh that had several of his officers turning to stare at him in surprise.
“No,” Captain McManus said finally. “Everything’s done by computer now. Not as romantic but much more efficient.”
“I suppose,” she said, then held out one hand to the man. “Thank you for letting me look around.”
“For the boss’s wife?” He shook her hand and winked. “Anytime at all.”
“Thanks, Captain,” Jack said. “We’ll let you get back to it.”
“Excellent. We’ll be ready to sail on time, Mr. Buchanan.”
“Good to know.”
When they left, Rita took Jack’s hand again and walked beside him on the catwalk surrounding the bridge. The sea air flew fast and furious this high up and gave her a chill that was dispelled by Jack’s big hand holding hers.
“We’ll take the elevator down and I’ll show you the theatres, the pools and a few of the club and casino lounges.”
“Okay.” She whipped her hair back to look up at him. “So, you’re glad you invited me along?”
His lips twitched. “I didn’t invite you.”
“You wish you had.”
“Maybe.” He glanced at her, gave her hand a squeeze, then steered her into an elevator.
There were mirrors on every surface and Rita couldn’t help but look at him. The man was so gorgeous, she could have stared at him for hours. His features were strong and sharp and had been honed down over the last several months, giving him the look of a saint with a wicked side.
He met her gaze in the mirror and just for a second, the power of his stare was enough to punch her heart into a frantic beat.
“You okay?”
“Fine,” she said, though she really wasn’t. How could she be, when she was in love with a man who didn’t want to be loved?
The elevator stopped with a ding and he announced, “First stop, Deck Three.”
Just like the rest of the ship, it was elegant and luxurious, from the brass sconces on the walls to the dark ruby carpet on the floor. Then her gaze focused on the solid white surface stretching out in front of them. “There’s an ice-skating rink?”
He laughed. “We’ve got everything.”
Her imagination completed the picture, with families moving across the ice, laughing, making memories. She could almost hear them echoing in the now-empty space.
“Oh, I miss skating,” she said, and rubbed one hand over her belly. “But my center of gravity’s a little whacked right now, so...”
“Yeah, well, you can always skate when you’re back in Utah after the baby’s born.”
It was a slap. A reminder. Don’t get comfortable, he was saying. I won’t let you in. I won’t let you stay. I won’t let myself care.
Rita almost swayed with the emotional impact, but she locked her knees because she couldn’t let him see what he could so easily do to her. She wanted to argue with him, tell him she loved him and she wasn’t going anywhere. But Rita remembered that she’d made the decision to simply not engage when he pulled back. When he tried to shut her out. So she smiled instead, though that small curve of her mouth cost her more than he would ever know.
“Yes. There’s plenty of time for skating after the baby.” She looked around. “Where’s the theatre? What movie’s playing?”
“Not a movie theatre,” he said, frowning at her, as if waiting for her real reaction to what he’d said. “It’s for live shows. The movies are up on Deck Eight, along with a spa and a casino and stuff for the kids and—” He broke off. “Hell, who can remember it all?”
“So, show me.” She started walking in the direction he’d pointed. He was still holding her hand though and tugged her to a stop.
“Rita, last night, what I told you—”
“It’s okay, Jack. Whatever you tell me is safe with me,” she assured him.
“It’s not that. It’s...” He paused, took a breath and then released it again. “I want you to know that I made a vow to myself. You keep telling me how I’m keeping my family—and you—at a distance. You’re right. But it’s with a purpose. I swore I would never put anyone in the position of mourning me—and now I’ve got you. And the baby. And if I let my family get close again, let you get close, then I risk causing pain. I won’t do it.”
She
