and happy right here at Cedarwood Lodge. “Thank you for all of your help at Cedarwood. Without you I’d be a bumbling, incoherent mess. Here’s to love, laughter, and good friends.”
We clinked glasses, everyone letting out a cheer. Outside, night fell, and snow blanketed the ground.
Amory said, “Hear, hear. And on behalf of all of us, I’d like to say, you would never be a bumbling, incoherent mess, because that’s just not your style, but we appreciate you taking us into your home and your heart this Christmas, and we look forward to making next year huge for Cedarwood. It’s going to be amazing, and we’re lucky to be part of it.”
Over dinner, we laughed so much we cried, eating too much turkey and crispy roast potatoes. Cruz had gone all out on dinner, with all the trimmings… from honey-glazed ham to fragrant pecan and cranberry stuffing, and freshly baked bread rolls. We practically rolled out of the room, and groaned when he wandered in with a chocolate Yule log big enough to feed a small army.
“Maybe we should have a little break?” he said, taking in our satiated faces, and the way we rubbed our too-full bellies.
“Let’s go sit in front of the TV,” Amory said. “The Times Square Christmas carols are on, and I don’t care what anyone says, I love watching them.” Cruz raised a brow but took Amory’s hand and led her down to the theater room.
Isla pulled Micah by the elbow. “Come with me? I want you to help me with something,” she said mysteriously.
That left me and Kai, staring at each other over the table.
“Let’s get some fresh air?” Kai said, pointing to the deck outside. I grabbed his gift from under the tree.
Stars glittered in the inky night, and the moonlight winked as if urging me on. It was déjà vu, but I wanted one minute alone with him before we were around other people for the duration of the night.
I handed him his gift, and held my breath.
He opened the gift box and took out the small album. Inside it were pictures of his time at Cedarwood, candid snaps when he wasn’t aware I was there – iPhone at the ready. There were pictures of the team he’d led, arms wrapped around each other, big, goofy grins in place, and Kai in the foreground, eyes luminous, sparkling with the joy he’d found here. There were before and after photos of the lodge, and the improvements he’d suggested were right there in Technicolor. In the middle of the album I’d placed a handwritten note:
You said this place is magical, and I think you’re right. There are so many adventures to be had here, and so much time in which to have them. You might feel adrift in the world right now, but we’ll always be here for you, me and Cedarwood Lodge. If you need a place to get lost, a mountain to climb, a friend to talk to, a lake to swim in so all you hear is the tumble of water and not the heavy thoughts that are holding you down, then you know where to come. As you can see by the photographs, you belong here, like the trees, the mountains, and the rain. Always know that when you leave, we’ll be counting down the days until we can welcome you back, home.
He worked his jaw as he read the message. Was it too much, too whimsical? I wanted Kai to have a tangible record of his time here, and photographic proof of the great work he’d done. It wasn’t just your average renovation. It was restoring the past, and living for the present.
“Do you really mean that, Clio?”
“Every word.”
He nodded and flicked through the album, smiling when he came to a picture of us toasting marshmallows, pulling silly faces. And then again when Micah was doing bunny ears behind his head as Kai surveyed building plans, resolute expression in place.
The last photo was my favorite. It had been taken by Micah when I was oblivious and was of me and Kai, sitting by the lake, bundled in blankets. Our faces were only inches apart…as if we might be about to kiss.
“Clio, I…” He stopped, his eyes ablaze, with what I wasn’t sure. He lifted my chin with a finger and kissed me gently. I leaned into him, and kissed him back. It remained unsaid, but I knew Kai, and I knew what he was thinking. It wasn’t the right time for us, was it? He was hurt, conflicted about his life, and starting a romance now was a bad idea. Until he’d made peace with his past… This was a kiss goodbye.
The Christmas tree blinked and shone, the lights radiating outwards, coloring the snow. Kai took me in his arms, and held me tight. I wished I could pause time and stay that way for ever.
In the distance, Micah and Isla ran back from the lake, their boots sinking into the snow, their faces red with cold.
“There’s a maze!” shouted Micah as they ran to catch up with us. “It’s hard to find, and it’s overgrown, but it’s definitely a hedge maze! How do you think we never found that before, Clio, on all our jaunts as children?”
I had the sensation that I was falling, dizzy and breathless all at once. Now Mom couldn’t avoid it; the maze had been found. But I had the overwhelming sense I would lose her if I didn’t handle it right. Micah noticed my stricken face, “Clio, are you OK?”
I’d have to be. I’d have to get this sorted out once and for all. “Fine, fine. Just a little cold.” Again, I had the oddest sensation someone was standing behind me, but when I looked no one was there. Goose bumps prickled my skin, and Mom’s face flashed in my mind, her teenage smile, and her bright eyes as she clutched the little girl’s hand. What was the very worst thing that could have happened? Did she have a child out of wedlock? Did the child die? Or was she adopted out?
Tomorrow I’d be at Aunt Bessie’s for Christmas Day, and my family and friends would celebrate Christmas lunch together. There’d be no time to quiz Mom alone, but maybe I could make her see how much we all loved Cedarwood, how we were making it great again, and whatever bad memories the place held for her, this was a new era, a new time, and I wanted her to be part of it. The only way forward was going back and saying goodbye to the past.
“Shall we fix the maze?’ Isla’s face was lit up.
“Strictly no work talk over Christmas!” I said, trying to sound upbeat. “Let’s head inside before we freeze, and demolish that Yule log.”
Kai and I exchanged a glance as we all trooped back inside, and my heart thumped in my chest, knowing I was saying goodbye to him soon too, maybe for good. If it was meant to be it would be… Didn’t I say true love would always find a way?
The golden vocals of Frank Sinatra singing ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ drifted upstairs to greet me. Feeling decidedly festive, I wrenched the bedcovers back and raced to the bay window. Outside, the frosty ground was blanketed by snow and the mountains in the distance slumbered under dense white. If you squinted you could make out tracks in the snow from Santa’s reindeers. OK, maybe not, but a girl could dream…
From downstairs came the rattle of cups, the shrieking of the kettle – Cruz was up and about and, from the scents wafting my way, baking something Christmassy.
Not wanting to miss a thing, I pulled on my thick robe and went to investigate. Taking the stairs two at a time, I practically bounced into the warmth of the kitchen. Cruz had brewed a pot of gingerbread coffee and handed me a cup. The spicy ginger scent was synonymous
