Stephanie’s jaw was clenched as she watched him bucking and tossing his head. He was much bigger and considerably more powerful than the mares. A higher leap would be needed to mount him, more strength to control him, and he had a vicious temper too, by the looks of it. But the change was safely made. The last circuit was complete. Rafiq was reining in when the stallion took umbrage and reared. Stephanie held her breath as man and horse fought for supremacy. She exhaled as the stallion was brought under control. And she screamed when he bucked, hurtling Rafiq on to the ground.
By the time she reached him, he had picked himself up and was dusting himself down. ‘Are you hurt?’
He grinned. ‘No more than usual. You brought Sherifa. She is the dam of Lameh, the beast who threw me. He is the fastest horse in the team, but he does not like to be mastered. I am glad you came.’
‘I am glad you asked me.’
He ushered her over to the shade, where they sat down together behind a rock, not wholly hidden from the arena, but sufficiently out of view to afford them some privacy. ‘Four weeks until the Sabr, and my changeovers are still not slick enough. I started training too late.’
‘Fadil has been telling me all sorts of horror stories about the race. I had no idea it was so dangerous.’
‘It’s only dangerous if you don’t know your horses. Ours are in excellent fettle. I think we have a good chance of winning.’
‘Only a good chance?’
He smiled. ‘An excellent chance, but as you have pointed out, there are no guarantees. It is a long race. So much can go wrong. All it takes is one lame horse. You see, I do listen, Stephanie.’ He leaned back on his hands, stretching his legs out in front of him. ‘I hadn’t allowed myself to consider the possibility of losing. I was so set on winning, so focused on that one goal that I wasn’t thinking rationally at all. Unlike my Royal Horse Surgeon.’
Stephanie blushed. Rafiq smiled at her again. ‘You see, I have also learned how to pay you the kind of compliments you like. You want to know if your rational thinking has had any effect.’
Stephanie nodded. He seemed different, but that didn’t mean...
Rafiq leaned over to kiss her cheek. ‘It has. It has taken me a great deal of time and effort—two years’ worth of guilt is a lot to come to terms with, but I think I finally have.’
He sat up, crossing his legs. ‘When Elmira died, I came very close to giving up. I wouldn’t have taken such dramatic action as my father did, but I would have sold the horses, closed the stud. But then it would have been futile—my marriage, her death—and so I vowed to win the Sabr for Elmira. I still want to race in her honour, but I see now, thanks to you, that winning would not assuage my guilt. It is all I can do to atone, but it won’t actually make me feel any better about what I did. It took you, and your very impressive brain to point that out. Clever Stephanie.’
‘It is merely that I have had some experience myself, at coming to terms with my mistakes, Rafiq.’
‘And now I’m benefitting from what you have learned. I am very fortunate.’ He kissed her again, this time on the lips. ‘I will never know what drove Elmira to such a terrible act. I wish with all my heart that she had not, but I do see now that it was her act, not mine. I cannot in all honesty say that I don’t feel guilty, because guilt defies logic, but I believe it will fade. And in your own words, much more importantly, I have changed. Not only because of that dark time, but more recently because of you.’
She was blushing again. ‘You mean you know now that there are some things a woman can do every bit as well as a man, such as tend to horses.’
‘You have made me realise that my thinking has been very traditional, but that’s not what I meant. Your refusal to grant me the deference I deserve,’ he said wryly, ‘has made me see how much I have taken for granted. Your description of my palace, a place for everyone, and a guard to keep everyone in their place, it shocked me, but what shocked me even more was the discovery that I do the same with my life.’
Their lips met and lingered. Her eyes drifted closed, as his tongue traced the line of her lower lip. When they broke apart, when she opened her eyes, sunspots dazzled her. ‘Rafiq, I...’
‘I want you too,’ he said, misunderstanding her meaning, saving her from a most ill-judged declaration. ‘I want you so much, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to remain here for the next four weeks, until the Sabr. It is vitally important that I dedicate the little time I have to doing all I can to obtain that victory. So I’m going to be living out here with my team until the race. You understand?’
‘Of course I do.’ Afraid that her feelings would show, Stephanie got up, shaking out her tunic, picking up her headdress. ‘I will see you at the starting post on the day of the race.’
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