think breathing is going to save my babies?’
The eye-roll didn’t quite come off but hurt still stabbed Steph under the ribs.
Because she couldn’t save the babies if they persisted in coming out into the world before reaching the emergency department. That would take a team of gynaecologists and neonatal specialists and a room full of specialised equipment and—oh, look, none of those were on board right now.
And because... Yeah, well. Because some things were never forgotten. No matter how hard she tried, how much she turned her life upside down and all around, Steph understood some of this woman’s anguish too well.
‘Mark’s going to be devastated.’ Melanie gulped.
Concentrate.
‘Your husband?’ she asked softly around the lump of sadness building in her throat. Sadness for Melanie or herself? Both?
‘Yes.’
‘Want me to call him?’
Someone had to let him know their new destination and that his wife was struggling at the moment. Not that Steph wanted to be the one to break his heart, but it seemed he was a stayer—had hung around after the first time this had happened. And the second. Chances were he’d do the same again. Melanie mightn’t understand but there was some luck on her side.
‘Would you?’ Melanie tapped her screen and handed the phone over, her teeth nibbling at her lip.
Right, get this done. Tap the phone icon, listen to the ringing, ignore the thumping in your chest. Get it finished, then focus on making this ride as comfortable as possible.
Kind of impossible, given the circumstances, but she’d do all she could to—
‘Ahhh!’ Her patient’s hands clenched and strain tightened her face.
‘Don’t push, whatever you do.’
Easy said...
Shoving the phone aside, Steph moved to re-examine the woman’s cervix. And cursed under her breath. These babies had an agenda of their own and no one, especially their mother, was about to deflect them. What if the babies popped out before they arrived at the hospital? What could she do to keep their chances of survival alive?
Think, girl, think.
The CPAP for breathing. Blankets for warmth. She could only hope they’d get to ED before any of that was needed.
Another contraction was tightening Melanie’s belly. ‘I can’t do this.’
‘We’re doing it together.’ Steph reached for a chilled hand, squeezed gently before once again examining her patient—and not liking what she was seeing.
Straightening up, she reached for the nitrous oxide. ‘Suck on that next time you have a contraction.’
‘I’m such a failure.’
‘Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Right now we’ve got two babies to think about and how best to increase their chances. So, are you up to sucking on that gas when required?’
A sharp nod.
Steph didn’t have time for any more chit-chat. The baby that had been crowning when she’d last looked was now about to slip out into the world.
Preparing for the birth by strategically placing the Continuous Positive Airway Pressure instrument nearby, and soft, light blankets ready to receive the precious bundle, she held her breath and watched and waited for the inevitable.
The blue of her gloves was a sharp contrast to the pale skin on Melanie’s thighs. It seemed impersonal to be welcoming a newborn into the world with a pair of vinyl-covered hands, but it was safer, and this little tot would need all the protection from infections and bugs it was humanly possible to achieve. It had to survive, and survive well.
Melanie tensed. ‘Here we go again,’ she forced out through gritted teeth.
‘You’re doing fine.’
No point telling her otherwise. Baby was coming, ready or not. OMG. So tiny and vulnerable. And blue.
Steph worked fast but carefully, knew nothing but that she was trying to save the tiniest boy she’d ever laid eyes upon.
Why hadn’t she trained as a paediatrician instead of a nurse?
A tap on her shoulder didn’t stop her.
‘We’ve got this.’ A male command. ‘Fill me in fast.’
A quick sideways glance showed a man in scrubs. A further look around and she gasped with relief. The ambulance had stopped, the doors were open and emergency staff were crowding in.
‘First baby arrived...’ she glanced at her watch ‘...three minutes ago. There’s another coming. They’re ten weeks early.’
She rattled off details and obs, handing over the baby to another scrubbed-up doctor, who immediately began working on the infant.
Suddenly she was redundant. That relief expanded. Those babies weren’t relying on her and now had a fighting chance. Fingers crossed. She’d given her all, but was it enough?
Squeezing through to the front of the ambulance to avoid the crowd of medical staff at the rear, she hopped out through Kath’s door and stood out of the way, watching as the experts delivered the second baby. At least this wee lad went straight into an incubator. The first baby had already disappeared amidst gowned, masked staff with one purpose in their minds—to save his life.
Steph’s chest ached where her heart thumped. These babies had to make it. No other outcome was acceptable.
‘Can you unload the stretcher for us?’ someone asked.
Instantly Steph was at the back of the ambulance, unlocking the wheels as Kath took the weight to roll the stretcher out.
‘Here we go,’ she warned Melanie, who was looking all hollowed out, her face sunken, her eyes glittering with tears, hands limp on her less rotund stomach.
‘Are they—?’
‘Yes,’ Kath said firmly.
Please, please live, Steph begged the babies. Your mum needs you.
Once Melanie had been transferred to a bed Steph leaned close. ‘I’ll be thinking about you. Hang in there and all the best.’
Then she made herself scarce, not looking around the department where she’d worked until two years ago, not wanting those memories on top of what had gone down today.
Her knees were wobbly. Her head thumped. And, damn it, her eyes were tearing up. Quite the professional.
Around the corner, out of everyone’s way and sight, Stephanie stopped to lean her forehead against the cold wall and clasped her hands together on
