air might cool his brain and freeze Stephanie out. And if it didn’t? Then he was in for a long night.
Once upon a time Monday nights meant drinks with the guys after rugby practice at the clubroom. Now it tended to be pizza delivery and catching up on emails and other scintillating stuff at home. Of course he got an earful of noise from his mates for being the only one still single. Jock and Max could never leave him to get on with his perfectly ordered life. They loved getting in his face about it too much.
The idea of pizza didn’t excite him today. Truth? It had stopped being exciting after the fourth Monday in a row—about two years back. But he wasn’t being picky if the alternative meant cooking something. Though the steak in his fridge would make a tasty change... Nah. Then there’d be dishes to do.
‘I see Steph’s become a paramedic.’
James was still with him, digging into his locker as well, apparently in the mood for talking.
‘Wonder why she’s gone to the other side?’
Michael hoped it wasn’t because she couldn’t work with him any more. But that was more likely his ego getting in the way of common sense. Whatever the reason, he should be glad she hadn’t returned to this department as a nurse, despite his wishing she had.
Working together was not an option when she tipped him off his pedestal too easily.
‘Crewing ambulances isn’t too far removed from the emergency department. Still the same patients, the same urgency and caring.’
The same sadness when something went belly-up. Could it just be that she was insecure about her ability? He wasn’t accepting that. Not from Stephanie Roberts.
‘But she was made to be an ED nurse.’ James looked puzzled. ‘Then again, we haven’t seen her in a while, so who knows what’s gone down in her life recently?’
Nothing awful, he hoped.
‘She’s not the first to take a change in vocation. There are days I wish I’d stuck to my rugby career, though my body is eternally grateful I didn’t.’
His half-sisters hadn’t been so thrilled at the change either, when it had dawned on them that he had less time and money to sort their problems.
‘You were good enough for a full-time career?’
The stunned look on James’s face had Michael laughing—and swallowing an unexpected mouthful of nostalgia.
‘You’d better believe it. I played franchise rugby for over two years. I was out on the wing until a heavy knock resulting in a second moderate concussion had me thinking that if I wanted to be a doctor after the rugby inevitably came to an end then I needed to look out for my brain. So I handed in my boots.’
He hadn’t been able to afford the risk of not having all his faculties in working order when he’d had other responsibilities needing his undivided attention. His half-sisters were his priority—had been since the day his father had extracted his promise to be the man around the place and look after them and their mother when he was thirteen, and from the way things were going, always would be.
Chantelle, in particular, made big enough messes with her life. What she’d have done if anything had happened to him was anyone’s guess. One that he no longer thought about. Instead he’d just accepted his role to be there for both of them continuously, to save them whenever things went wrong—as they did far too often with Chantelle. Thankfully Carly seemed settled in her new life in England. Strange how she’d managed to sort herself out once he hadn’t been there to support her... Their mother had taken off overseas so there was no having her to sort out.
‘No regrets?’
He didn’t need this conversation, but he’d been short with James and wanted to negate anything bad.
‘Some—but there’d have been a lot more if I’d suffered serious head injuries.’ Playing such a physical sport always had its issues. ‘Quitting was the right call.’
At first he’d missed the team camaraderie and the thrill of winning a hard-fought-for game, but he still had his two closest mates and it hadn’t taken him long to get into his stride studying to become a doctor. He’d had plenty of practice helping his half-sisters out of the mischief and chaos they’d got into, so extending that help into a medical career where he dealt with vulnerable people daily—hourly—was natural. Which was why losing a patient despite giving everything he had in the tank always hurt.
Stephanie’s earlier sadness had twisted his gut. She’d know those babies would now be tucked into incubators with monitors attached to their tiny bodies while specialists worked their butts off to save them. Yet he suspected she still needed a shoulder to cry on, or a friend to walk it out with, talk it through with—except, being her, there probably wouldn’t be much talking.
What time did her shift finish?
Leave it alone. Stay uninvolved.
But he owed her. She’d been there for him when Jacob Brown had died in his hands. She’d listened without lecturing, she’d walked beside him as he dashed around the city for hours and had limped for days afterwards. She’d kissed him to the point when he didn’t know where he began and ended. She’d fallen into his bed as eagerly as he’d taken her there.
Definitely stay away.
It had been two years. She wouldn’t be the same woman. Must have another man in her life, in her bed by now.
Anger flared.
Down, boy. You have no rights here. You sent her packing.
If there was someone special he should be pleased. She’d be able to talk out what was bothering her tonight.
The anger only increased, and he felt his hands clenched at his sides, his abs drawn tight.
Go—ride over the bridge, head north for an hour. Turn off the brain. Then order pizza.
Man or no man in her life, Stephanie had family and friends here. He knew that much from the past. She’d be fine. Better off if it wasn’t him hanging around like a dog after a bone. He might make a mistake and touch her again. He still burned with the need to hug her that had floored him the moment he’d first seen her pressed up against the wall as though she could no longer hold herself together.
Hell. He had not given her what she needed. He’d let her go without a word. Without a hug. Without an honest-to-goodness Glad to see you and I want to help you smile. Just like last time.
Wise move for him.
Unkind and unfair on her.
STEPH SLIPPED INTO her jacket with a grateful sigh. The ambulance was restocked for the night crew. Six o’clock had clicked over on her watch. Definitely time to be someplace else.
Only that meant picking up something from the supermarket to take back to the house to heat and eat while watching the second instalment
