kind, but a whole, pure woman. “But this is more fun.”
“Are you going to be able to handle yourself when we announced your holiday wedding at the Christmas Eve party tonight?”
“I promise you, Zara and I have figured out how to deal with each other.” He couldn’t suppress the smile that turned up his lips.
Kairos raised his eyebrows. “Have you?”
“We have.” And the deeper they settled into it, the more she wound herself around his life, the more unsettled he became.
Strange. He should take comfort in not being alone. But there was something about all this that made him feel as if he were being held underwater. As if he were holding her down with him.
And the deeper they went, the more panicked he felt. The more he wanted to release his hold on her and make his escape.
To retreat to the punishment of solitude because it would be better than the alternative.
Needing her. Losing her.
Failing her.
“Please tell me you didn’t take her to Vegas to purchase hookers, as well.”
“Oh, nothing as salacious as that. We’re sleeping with each other. Only each other. Shocking. I suppose I should be grateful that you’re married, and faithful to Tabitha. Otherwise this would be a wonderful chance for you to exact revenge.”
In that moment he knew he would kill his brother if he so much as looked at Zara. Any man, really. What was wrong with him? He felt torn in two. Desperate to hold her to him. Desperate to let her go.
Unable to do either.
“It would be. But I wouldn’t do that. Not to you. I’m not angry at you, whatever you might think. Well, I am. But not bitter. I’m not happy about what happened five years ago. How could I be? If I was deliriously satisfied in my marriage, perhaps it would be a different story.”
“All the Christmas trees in the ballroom are decorated.”
Both Andres and Kairos turned at the sound of Tabitha’s stilted voice coming from the opposite direction. It was impossible to tell whether or not she had heard what Kairos had just said, but judging by the way her pale blue eyes glistened, and the lack of color in her cheeks, she most certainly had.
Andres had to wonder why Kairos found being married to a woman as beautiful as Tabitha such a hardship. She was completely biddable, nothing like Zara, who was obstinate and imperious on the best days.
Of course, that was what he found so fascinating about her. Perhaps that explained it. Perhaps Kairos had wanted a woman more like Francesca. Beautiful, impetuous. Very likely to leave her husband, or get pregnant with the royal stable master’s baby rather than her husband’s, but certainly possessing charms. Poor Tabitha would never be able to compete if that was what Kairos really wanted.
Tabitha was like a china doll who stored herself on the top shelf, ensuring that she remained thoroughly unplayed with, undamaged.
Though Andres suspected this had damaged her a bit.
“Thank you,” Kairos said, his tone stiff. “I will be in to see everything in a moment. Andres and I were just talking.”
“Then I’ll leave you to it.” She pushed her lips upward into a poor approximation of a smile before nodding once and turning away, walking back into the ballroom.
“You were saying?” Andres asked.
“Nothing. Only that I’m not actively rooting against you. I never have. You can make this work with her. Especially if you have a physical connection. So do it. Don’t mess it up.”
“I’m not a child, Kairos.”
“Nor were you a child when you took my fiancée to bed.”
“That is true.”
“For once in your life, listen to someone.”
He listened. He listened well. It had just never made a difference.
“She’s a good woman,” Kairos said. “Strong. She’ll make a wonderful princess. And a wonderful wife.”
She would. Andres couldn’t argue with that. More than that...he wanted it. This time with her had been beyond anything he’d ever experienced. He hadn’t wanted to connect with anyone like this in longer than he could remember.
But Zara...he took joy in caring for her. Giving to her. That was new too. Wanting to give to someone rather than simply take all he could.
The desperation he felt, so sudden, so intense, to cling to her nearly brought him to his knees.
It reminded him of every other time he’d wanted something, only to make a mess of it.
As he would do with Zara.
He pushed the thought away. He had no choice but to succeed with her. But that didn’t mean surrendering to this...thing, this emotion that rioted through his chest.
They could work together. They could be partners. It didn’t have to be like this.
He would explain it to her. Tonight, after the ball, he would explain to her how it would be. A partnership. No feelings. Nothing so unstable, nothing so powerful.
A commitment, a decision, he could control. But he had proved to himself over and over that his heart was unreliable.
He took a breath and looked at Kairos. “If you’ll excuse me,” he said, turning away from his brother, “my fiancée is waiting for me. And she isn’t mad at me.”
“Give it time. And, Andres...”
“What?”
“If you leave during my speech tonight I will be unhappy with you.”
“Then make it interesting.”
* * *
Tonight, she was wearing the pink gown. That fluffy confection that had been fitted to her the first day she was here in the palace. Her dark hair had been tamed into a sleek bun, a tiara resting on her head.
It was so foreign. Yet familiar at the same time. This had been her life once. Parties, beautiful dresses, crowns. She had been royalty in the palace and Tirimia. In her daily life she had only ever felt the distance of royalty, and none of the benefits.
This was different. Tonight, she would stand with the entire royal family. Part of something. Not apart from something. Tonight, Kairos would be announcing that she and Andres were getting married after the Christmas service tomorrow morning, in the old church down in the city.
The most beautiful dress had been created for her. Zara could scarcely believe it had been made up so quickly. It glittered like the snow that fell here in Petras. Lace with little glass beads stitched all over it.
She couldn’t think of anything more beautiful to wear while becoming Andres’s wife. And she
