The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection. Lauren Child
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Yikes, thought Ruby. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see Clancy, it was just she didn’t know what to say to him. She decided to keep quiet – RULE 4: IF IN DOUBT, SAY NOTHING. Would Hitch answer the door? She waited a few moments. No, it seemed he hadn’t heard the bell over his music. There was no way Clancy could know that she was home, unless he had staked out the house and that seemed unlikely.
Eventually she heard something drop through the letterbox and his footsteps as he walked back down the drive and through the wooden gate.
Ruby went downstairs and picked up a carefully folded piece of paper. A snake.
On it Clancy had written in code:
‘What is going on Rube??? You aren’t even answering my calls – is that butler guy holding you hostage?’
She went back upstairs, heavy with guilt. Flicked the replay button her machine and listened to her messages. The first voice was Clancy’s. He was asking her if she was going to stop in at the Donut Diner on her way to basketball: ‘we could grab some french toast – hey, I’ll even pay.’
There was a message from Del, who wanted to discuss the game: ‘we need to talk tactics man – Bugwart’s not gonna slam us again’. One from Red asking if she could borrow Ruby’s violin because she had accidentally sat on hers and it was now ‘in several pieces’ and ‘beyond fixing’ and her mom was going to ‘most likely kill her’ and another from Clancy. This time it just said, ‘Rube, it’s Clance, please call.’
Ruby felt a little stab to her gut. She sat there for a while just thinking. She was in an impossible situation – lie to Clancy or break Spectrum rule number one. What kind of choice was that? She became aware that there was noise coming from the kitchen and she took a look through the periscope – Consuela had arrived and was chatting with Hitch as she prepared dinner. All at once Ruby knew what she had to do. She needed to talk to Hitch – he would just have to see her point of view.
She walked into the kitchen and found Hitch drying martini glasses while he chatted to Consuela, who was busy stuffing fourteen large tomatoes with what looked like more tomato. It occurred to Ruby that Consuela was rather over dressed for this task, the stiletto heels and painted fingernails seeming to be more of a hindrance than a help. She was also laughing rather too much, that sort of random giggling that certain girls at Ruby’s school broke into whenever Richie Dare walked past.
‘Oh brother!’ muttered Ruby. She took a breath. ‘Hitch, can I ask you something?’
‘I am sure you can and I have no doubt that you will,’ he replied.
Consuela giggled and Ruby glared at her.
‘Well, if I could drag you away from the kitchen for five trilliseconds.’ She made an eye signal, meaning “not in front of her” and Hitch put down his dishcloth and asked Consuela to excuse him. Consuela adopted a fake pout and giggled again.
‘Jeepers!’ muttered Ruby.
When they were out of earshot Ruby said, ‘What am I gonna do about Clancy?’
‘What do you mean? What’s Clancy got to do with anything?’
‘He has everything to do with everything and now that I’m involved with Spectrum I can’t talk to him about anything!’
‘Goes with the territory kid – you can’t talk to him, you can’t talk to anyone.’
‘But…’
‘Kid, you blab and you’re going to be in the deepest deep water you have ever been dunked in – that clear?’
Ruby nodded – this guy was never going to give in. She felt her spirits sinking as if there was an impossible weight pushing down on her. Lying to Clancy – an impossible task. She was dead meat.
She decided to get some air – take Bug for a walk. She headed off in the opposite direction from Amster Green.
When Ruby got back, her mother was there to greet her.
‘Well, hey there stranger, where have you been?’
Ruby was a little surprised by the question and wasn’t sure what to say – she couldn’t quite discern whether her mother’s tone was serious or playful.
RULE 4: SAY NOTHING. When in a tight spot people often give themselves away by over talking.
‘Um, well, you know,’ said Ruby.
‘Yes I do young lady. I came to pick you up after the match. I was going to take you to get your hair cut – remember?’
Ruby did remember now her mother brought it up – how could she have forgotten something which could so easily have blown her cover? RULE 7: NEVER FORGET THE LITTLE THINGS – IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT WILL LEAD PEOPLE TO NOTICE THE BIG THINGS. This was something Ruby had seen time and time again in Crazy Cops. It was one of her most important rules.
‘Hey, you’ve ripped your new jacket,’ said her mom. ‘How did that happen?’
Yeah Rube, explain that why don’t ya.
‘Uh, well, let me tell you.’ Ruby was thinking fast but unusually nothing was coming to mind.
‘I guess it was at Mrs Beesman’s right?’
‘Uh…?’
‘I was about to go and call coach Newhart,’ said her mother, ‘I was worried, but luckily I ran in to Clancy and he tells me you went off to do some volunteer work helping out poor old Mrs Beesman. Ruby, you never told me about that – so sweet of you honey! But you ripped your jacket huh? Well, I’m hardly surprised – state of her yard.’
‘Yeah, well, you know,’ mumbled Ruby. Her mother was asking her all kinds of questions about Mrs Beesman but what Ruby was thinking was, Clancy covered for me even though I have been ducking his calls and deliberately avoiding him – he still covered for me. Wow, he’s some friend.
This made her feel bad.
Her mother was still talking about Mrs Beesman and how proud she was that a daughter of hers was kind enough to go and help a poor old lady out.
‘Ruby, you really do make me feel ashamed! I have never done anything to help her.’
This made Ruby feel worse.
She tried to make light of it. ‘Don’t beat yourself up Mom, we can’t all be saints.’
But her mother wouldn’t let go. ‘Be modest if you want Ruby, but as your mother I am proud of you, you can’t change that.’ Then she started kissing her on the cheeks – Ruby decided that perhaps this was Clancy’s idea of revenge after all.