of him.
‘How about we take it more slowly?’ Ruiz suggested with amusement.
‘You dare,’ she warned him, wondering if it was really possible to be stretched like this and survive the pleasure. ‘I’ll take it anyway you like,’ she managed shakily.
Ruiz soothed her with one hand while he increased her pleasure with the other. ‘Don’t be scared, I’ve got you,’ he said, reading her.
‘But it’s too much,’ she exclaimed frantically. ‘Too big …’
‘I decide when,’ Ruiz told her, perfectly in control.
She trusted him and stared deep into his eyes as he held her firmly in position to take her on an effortless slide into a world of sensation. ‘I can’t hold on,’ she cried at last.
‘You’re not supposed to,’ Ruiz assured her with amusement. Taking her deep with several firm, sure strokes, he thrust her over the edge where she had no option but to fall, clutching at him wildly as a starburst of sensation exploded in her head.
He held her in his arms as she slowly subsided. Holly was like an open book, pure and true, but was he ready for this wealth of feeling? He had often joked with his brothers about finding a woman who meant more to him than any other. They had tossed the idea around and concluded that as the youngest, it definitely wouldn’t be Ruiz first. Probably wouldn’t be him ever. Where would he find someone to put up with him? And if he did it would be years from now. He was too wild, too selfish, too unworthy of the sort of commitment and responsibility that came with devoting himself to one person, because that was what love meant to him—
Love?
He actually laughed out loud, and then felt guilty when Holly lifted her sated face to search his eyes. Smoothing the hair from her damp brow, he reassured her with murmured words and kisses. But she wasn’t entirely convinced. ‘What was that about?’ she murmured groggily.
‘You,’ he said. ‘You’re lovely—I can’t believe you’re here with me.’
‘Didn’t you get that the wrong way round?’ she queried sleepily.
‘I got it exactly right,’ he said. And she didn’t deserve to be hurt.
‘Lovely?’ she said, wrinkling her nose. ‘You really think I’m lovely?’
‘Lovely and funny, and … you make me laugh,’ he finished, not used to such feelings bombarding him. ‘You’re a lovely person, Holly.’
‘Ah,’ she breathed, turning her face into his chest.
Reading her insecurities, he could have kicked himself. ‘Don’t you dare,’ he warned. Holding Holly in his arms, he realised the past haunted them both. He had worried his little sister could hear their parents fighting. And like the rest of the Acosta boys, he had struggled to understand his father’s infidelities. He’d seen the hurt in his mother’s eyes. He’d seen the so-called perfect family torn apart, until all that was left was a band of brothers with a sister to protect. He would never go down that road. The thought of turning out like his father was his worst nightmare. He had no intention of settling down with a woman until all the fire had left his veins and the only thing that mattered to him was holding someone’s hand …
‘Where are you now?’ Holly murmured. ‘And where are you going?’ she said as he grabbed a towel from the bed and made for the door. ‘I’m going to take a shower,’ he said, securing the towel around his waist. His heart filled and when she smiled back at him his mind was made up.
She could use a break, Holly concluded wryly, stretching her glowing limbs contentedly. She was still in a wonderfully dreamy recovery state, and had been worrying that she might not be able to gather herself fast enough to satisfy a man like Ruiz. Keeping up with a man like that would require regular training sessions, she reflected happily. She looked up with surprise when he came back into the room, but it was only to drop a kiss on her swollen mouth. ‘Where are you going now?’ she demanded softly, reaching up to him.
‘Goodnight, Holly …’
Smiling drowsily, she stared into the impossibly beautiful eyes, wondering if now was the moment to admit that Ruiz had exhausted her, but with a little sleep she’d be—
‘Try not to oversleep,’ he was telling her. ‘I know you’ve got work tomorrow and I don’t want you to be late because I kept you up half the night. Would you like me to set your alarm for you?’
She started to frown, realising that all the heat had gone from his eyes.
‘I’d never forgive myself if I were the cause of putting a curb on your career,’ he murmured, caressing her face.
He was talking about work now? Ice filled her veins. This wasn’t good. ‘There are plenty of things to worry about apart from work,’ she said. ‘Wasn’t that what you told me?’
‘So I did,’ Ruiz agreed. ‘And there’s something else. The repairs on my town house are nearly complete so I’ll be getting out of your hair soon.’
And that was good? Ruiz seemed to think so. Maybe her brain had been blown to mush by so much amazing sex, but that did not sound good to Holly.
Lifting the duvet, Ruiz pulled it up to her chin—an action that smacked more of consideration for a maiden aunt with an attack of the vapours than a crazy-for-you, I-want-to-keep-you-warm-for-the-very-few-minutes-I’m-away-from-your-side action. ‘I don’t want to get too comfortable,’ she complained, throwing it off again. ‘I might go to sleep if I do—’
‘You should sleep well now, Holly.’
‘Only for a few seconds.’ She laughed, but something warned her to stop talking—that this was a train wreck and she was in the middle of it. Reaching up she put her hands flat against Ruiz’s chest. They’d been as intimate as two people could be, but instead of feeling any response from him all she could feel was the play of muscle beneath her hands. ‘Polo must be some game,’ she said lamely.
‘It is.’
And Ruiz had already left her, she registered.
What had she done? What had she done wrong?
She had allowed herself to want more than Ruiz was prepared to give her, Holly reasoned as he walked across the room. She wanted all of him, not just the sex. She wanted his warmth and his humour, his intelligence and perception, and the friendship that brought them close, making them, she had believed, trusting and trusted. She did not want this cold little voice inside her saying this same thing had happened to her before.
Not quite the same—
Not the same at all, Holly reassured herself. Not so many kisses and caresses, and no genuine affection of any kind. No affection at all, in fact. Her ex had been nothing like Ruiz.
‘Sleep now,’ Ruiz whispered from the door.
Burying her face in the pillow, she went tense all over as if that could shut out what was happening, but she only knew one way to give and that was wholeheartedly. She couldn’t divide parts of herself off and hold them back. Perhaps men could do that.
Okay, she could deal
