his hand between her thighs, tested her and sighed at her wet, glorious warmth. Her fingers followed his, burrowing under his to capture her own moisture and then she took her fingers away to draw patterns on his thick, hard-as-steel erection which jumped in response.
‘No regrets in the morning, James?’
‘No regrets, ever, Ri,’ James answered before lowering her to the couch and making her his.
WHEN RILEY WOKE up the next morning she quickly realised that she was still naked and lying in James’s enormous bed. His empty bed. She patted the space next to her and moved her leg to make sure that he wasn’t lying there, out of her reach.
Dammit … how was she going to deal with this? She’d said that she’d never put herself in this position again and yet here she was, about to do the walk of shame again. Except that there was nothing shameful about sleeping with James, not this time. She had been completely sober, totally aware of what she was doing, aware of her actions, prepared to take the consequences.
She had wanted one last night with him, one last experience of loving him, touching him, tasting him. She’d taken every opportunity to do just that and the memories of last night would fuel her fantasies for a long time to come.
‘You’re going to set the sheets on fire because you’re thinking so hard.’
Riley whipped over, shoved the curtain of red hair out of her eyes and saw James sitting on the edge of the chair, his forearms on his knees, looking intently at her.
‘How long have you been watching me?’ she demanded.
‘A while.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I can.’ James sat back and placed his ankle on his knee. ‘We need to talk.’
Riley flopped back on her pillow and groaned loudly. ‘Oh God, here we go again. Let’s just pretend that we’ve had this conversation already. You only do one-night stands, don’t read anything into it, blah, blah, blah.’
‘I want you to stay in New York,’ James quietly stated.
Oh, really?
‘Why?’ Riley demanded.
James rubbed the back of his neck, a sure sign that he was uncomfortable. ‘Riley, you are fabulous at your job; I don’t want to lose you!’
Could he possibly have found a more pansy-assed excuse? Riley thought and sent a pillow sailing in his direction. He ducked and it flew past his head and bounced off the wall.
‘Try again,’ she said between gritted teeth.
‘I like being friends again.’
‘That’s a marginally better excuse but still crap,’ Riley stated, shaking her head. ‘Neither statement is good enough to get me to stay.’
‘Then what the hell do you want?’
‘I want morel’ Riley shouted. ‘Just give me a valid reason not to go!’
James cursed, stood up and paced the room. ‘I don’t know what you need to hear! We have phenomenal sex together; isn’t that enough? Obviously, by that scornful look on your face, it’s not! ‘
Well read, Sherlock.
James rubbed his hand across his forehead. ‘Okay, well, then, what about going back to what you asked me six months ago? If I have to, I’ll do the dating thing …’
‘You want to date me?’ Riley repeated, not sure if she’d heard him right. ‘If you have to?’
Oh, this was bad. This was so, so bad, Riley thought … and I’m naked. Her heart was being diced and spliced and she was naked.
‘Toss me a shirt, will you?’ Riley demanded, holding the sheet to her bare chest. She caught the T-shirt James threw and quickly pulled it over her head. When she was adequately covered, she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
‘I don’t want you to date me because you have to—I want you to want to be with me.’ Riley bit her bottom lip. ‘Why is us being together always so damn hard?’
James sent her a hard look. ‘It wasn’t once and you were the one who walked!’
‘And you’ve never forgiven me for it!’ Riley shouted. ‘I was nineteen, James, and so scared!’
‘Of what?’ he demanded.
‘I was so young and naive with it. You were sophisticated and educated—how long would it have taken for you to become bored of me? Six weeks; six months? I would’ve given up everything, all my dreams for you and been left with nothing!’
‘You never gave us—me—a chance!’
‘And you never gave me a chance to grow up, to change my mind. You never contacted me once when I was overseas, not by e-mail, social media, not a phone call—nothing! I thought that maybe when I came home—nine months later—we might have a second chance but, when I did, you had already moved on to Liz, moved in with Liz! So forgive me for doubting how much you wanted me, how much you’ve ever wanted me!’ Riley told him, her chest heaving. ‘God, James, I have loved you since I was eight years old … Why don’t you just kick me in the teeth while you’re at it?’
‘You don’t love me …’
‘Aaargh!’ Riley shouted at full volume. ‘James! Really?’
‘You walked away from me. You walked away, Ri.’
Okay, she’d explain it one last time. ‘I was young and scared and I wasn’t ready. And you ran from me to that witch and that hurt me. I loved you enough to be happy that you were happy and then you dumped Liz and then you dumped every single woman you dated after her. And boy, there were a lot, James. All gorgeous, all tall, all stacked, all from your snobby social circle. And you never, not once, seriously looked at me again.’
James frowned, utterly confused. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘If they couldn’t hold your attention then I didn’t stand a chance, being short and a redhead and from a middle-class background.’
‘That is such a load of crap! I dated those women because I could never fall in love with them. Because they weren’t you! Because there’s only been one woman for me since I was twenty-four and you are it!’
‘Yet all you want to do is date me,’ Riley said quietly.
James sat on the side of the bed, his thigh next to her knee. He looked at his hands and Riley watched the emotions play across his face. Confusion, sadness, a lot of despair. ‘I don’t understand love, Riley. I can’t get a handle on it and it has too much power over me to play around with it. I was falling
