for her skills, in line for a promotion. That part was just what she wanted and, finally, she had time to look beyond that, to having a life outside medicine. Except there was Arlo. She hadn’t been able to shake him off. Not in the physical sense, but in the emotional. All the what-ifs? They wouldn’t let go, so now it was time to purge them and move on.
Layla sighed loudly enough for her mother to hear. “Look, it’s only two months, then I’ll be home and hopefully in a new position. Ollie hinted that I’m the forerunner. So, please, just wish me luck here because working in a jungle hospital scares me a little bit.” But not as much as facing Arlo after all this time.
“Yes, Mother, I’ll be careful. And tell Daddy thanks for the SUV. The way these roads are turning out to be, it’s exactly what I needed.” Her dad had made a couple of phone calls and, just like magic, it had been waiting for her at the airport. But he had connections here in Thailand. In fact, he had connections everywhere so what he’d done for Layla had been easy. Everything her parents had ever done for her had made her life easier. Which was one of the reasons Arlo had always called her spoiled. She’d taken advantage of that from time to time. Until Arlo had pointed that out.
Still, her parents always supported her in what she wanted to do. Sometimes the support was a little grudging, since their ideas of what they wanted for her were entirely different from what Layla wanted for herself. But there hadn’t been a time since she was a little girl that she’d seen herself as anything other than a doctor, and now Layla was on her way to do some doctoring in the jungle with a man who’d been her partner for two years. Talk about an improbable situation.
“Two years,” she said out loud, as she swerved to miss a rut in the dirt road. Arlo Benedict had been at her level during their medical residency, and the arrangement to share an apartment had been a practical one. For Arlo, it had been about money. His grandfather, Ollie, had been supporting him through school, but just barely, since his own surgery was quite costly to operate. And Arlo’s parents—they were like Arlo was now. Jungle doctors, living on practically nothing.
When Layla had first met Arlo, he’d been struggling. Not complaining, though. But his life had been hard, and he hadn’t had many extras. No going out with friends for pizza and beer. Working an extra job when he’d really needed to be studying. He had been so dedicated—dedicated in a way she’d never seen in anyone, and she admired that. Plus, he was easy on the eye, and maybe she’d had a little crush.
She didn’t know for sure, but when she’d mentioned she had a bedroom to rent, he’d jumped at the chance. Layla had told herself that having someone there was simply a matter of practicality. But in the case of asking Arlo to be her roomie, it had possibly been something more. Certainly, she’d been open to suggestions at the time. He had been smart, drop-dead gorgeous and quite emphatic that he’d be gone once his residence was completed.
Arlo had come with everything she’d wanted, and something she hadn’t wanted—a long-term relationship. She hadn’t been about to tie herself up that way until she’d started climbing the ladder, and that had still been a long way off.
Well, she had been wrong about the relationship. Just being with Arlo had made her want to be with him all the more. No, he had not been a long-termer and, yes, he had been clear he wouldn’t stay. But being with Arlo for two years had changed her. Made her want things she hadn’t known she wanted. Made her want Arlo in ways she’d known he hadn’t been available.
Had it been the challenge of him, or the allure? Probably some of both. But when her real feelings had started getting in the way, the allure had taken over in a big way. Not that it mattered because, in the end, he’d left her. It was always his plan, he’d told her. But she’d truly thought she could change his mind.
Unfortunately, Layla couldn’t. And their ending had been bad. Arguments they’d never had before. Shouting. Crying. Naturally, she’d blamed Arlo for everything but, deep down, she’d always known she couldn’t hang onto him. She’d just tried ignoring it.
Initially, Arlo’s resistance at accepting her offer, and he did resist, had been quelled by her declaration that theirs would be a friends-only situation. Sure, she’d wanted more. Which, as it had turned out, had been the case with Arlo as well. And within two weeks a cozy night when two weary surgical residents had shared a bottle of wine and a bowl of popcorn on the couch had turned into
Of course, there’d been early morning promises that what they’d done was a one-time thing. Except it wasn’t. For two years. Now, nearly five years down the road, while Layla was perfectly on track with her career, Arlo was the loose end she needed to tie up because she didn’t want to be alone for the rest of her life. Because she was a total washout when it came to relationships—just ask Brad, her only attempt at another relationship after Arlo. Then there was the whole ticking of the biological clock thing going on. Yet she couldn’t take that step forward because—well, she was blaming it on their lack of closure, even though they’d both known, at the start, that Arlo would eventually go one way and she another.
It had seemed easy enough when they’d talked about it, but when the time had come, it wasn’t. Had Layla loved Arlo then? Yes, in a lot of different ways. But had she loved him enough to give up her dreams to follow his? No. Absolutely not. And neither had he been prepared to give up his dreams for her.
So, why was she here? To be honest with herself, she’d jumped at the chance before she’d thought it through. And once she’d committed, she wasn’t going to back down. Her plan—her only plan—to earn this promotion was do everything required to move her forward.
To back out of two months in a Thailand jungle hospital with her former lover would shove her back, not push her forward. So, here she was, feeling a lot of trepidation about Arlo’s reaction if Ollie hadn’t contacted him yet, and scared to death of a two-month commitment that, at one point in her life, might have turned into a lifetime commitment, had things worked out differently.
As her dad always said, Whatever it takes to get you to the next level. And while Layla didn’t know if this assignment would do that, it would certainly allow her to experience a side of medicine she knew little about. That, if nothing else, was a good thing as it would help make her a better doctor. So in two months she could be a better doctor who’d finally shut the door on an old relationship. It was good. All good because she needed Ollie to see she was a team player. Sometimes she wasn’t. Layla knew her reputation—she could be a little aloof, sometimes standing alone.
But growing up the way she had, with a photojournalist father who made documentaries all over the world, and her mother a film actress who, like her father, worked all over the world, she’d learned to be independent at a young age. Sometimes she could be too independent, which wasn’t necessarily in her best interest all the time. Even she recognized that. Although Arlo had pointed that out as well. More times than she cared to remember.
Still, most memories Layla had of her parents were of one or both of them walking away from her, going off in pursuit of their careers, which, if nothing else, had been the impetus for her independence. Arlo walking away had simply shored up what was already there—the notion that she wasn’t worth hanging around for. And for Layla, hiding behind the stone wall of independence she’d built around herself was easier than risking another rejection. She’d assumed that over time she’d learn to be happy there. Well, happy enough.
But sometimes the memories of a bottle of wine and a bowl of popcorn and what that had started did slip in. They hung on more tenaciously than almost any other memory of her life. And it was because of that memory Layla had been stalled in a place where there was no room for her. Where she wasn’t wanted. A place she had to fix and move beyond.
While this trip to Thailand to work with Arlo had been
