“Nope, you never did. I think I saw that in you the first time we met.”
Of course, Arlo could see what he wanted to see in her. That was part of their fundamental problem. What he wanted versus what she wanted. Or, in their case, needed. “Part of my basic make-up, I suppose. But I never heard you object,” she said, stepping out of the cart, trying not to disturb the chickens while also trying to shoo the dog back in.
“Probably because I didn’t object. I liked your ambition. I was raised by pacifist parents who took things as they came, which is pretty much my style. Someone with your kind of ambition—I don’t recall ever seeing it in anyone before you. Not living in the jungle for as long as I did. It was an eye-opener for me, and alsowell, sexy.”
Layla turned to thank the old man for the ride by bowing to him, then tucked a few Thai coins into his hand which he pocketed eagerly as he returned her bow, then scurried away with his cart. “Right up until the day you walked out.” She brushed the straw off her backside, then stood at the bottom of the rough-hewn wooden stairs and looked up at Arlo. “It’s two months. You need the help, I’m available, and—”
“And in the bargain it makes you look good because you want that promotion. You haven’t changed, Layla. I’ll give you credit for that. Where you are now is where you were when we split. Still trying to climb that ladder.”
“I’m not the only one in the running.”
“No, but you’re the only one who’d come to Thailand to impress him. That’s huge, even if you don’t want to admit it.”
“I also came to see a side of medicine I’ve never seen.” And try to make things right between them—things that seemed like they were already off to a shaky start.
“I offered you that. Remember?”
“For a lifetime, Arlo. You wanted a lifetime commitment and we weren’t even” Layla wanted to say in love, but that was implied. Their relationship had been about many things, but love had never been mentioned. In fact, because of their circumstances, she was sure that was the reason it never had been mentioned. It was too complicated. It got in the way. There were no compromises that would work for both of them. Even though her feelings for him might have been—well, that didn’t matter now, did it?
“Anyway, Ollie’s deal is for two months. I couldn’t have done a lifetime, Arlo. You knew that from the beginning. But I can do two months, and you do need that help. So this is good for both of us. You get an extra doctor for a while and I gain extra knowledge.” And closure, because she really did need to move on, and the only way she could think to do it was ending things better with Arlo.
But for Arlo? She’d spent too much time wondering if he’d needed more at the end the way she had. Now she had two months to find out, and put things into proper perspective. Then, hopefully, close the book on that story once and for all.
“Do you really think that helping the boss’s grandson will get you any special notice? Ollie’s not like that, Layla. In fact, it could go against you, volunteering to come here, when he knows how badly we ended. He could look at it as being very manipulative. I mean, if I were in his place, I might.”
“Or he could look at it as a way for me to improve my skills.” And, keeping her fingers crossed, she was on the inside track because of her work. Nothing else. “So, in the meantime, I’ve got my medical bag with me, but my personal bags are in my car, which is stuck in a ditch somewhere between here and God only knows where. Do you know someone who can go get my car unstuck and bring it here?” She looked up at the sign over the door behind Arlo and smiled. “Seriously, you named this place Happy Hospital?”
They’d actually named this hospital together years ago. They were being silly one night, and maybe a little drunk, and the pillow talk had turned to the kind of hospital where each of them could see themselves in the future. Naturally, Layla had described something large and state-of-the art, whereas he’d simply said he wanted to work at a happy hospital. She hadn’t remembered that until now. Apparently, he hadn’t forgotten it. In a way, it made her feel flattered that he’d thought of her.
“Things are simple here, Layla. I know you’re not used to that, but that’s how we are. And the hospital name fits because when we don’t have enough insulin to treat all our patients and don’t have the means to go get it for another week or two, or when some other hospital like this one is ahead of us on the list, pushing us down the waiting list, we can either go all gloom and doom over our situation or try to make the best of it. Being happy with what we have helps.”
“I didn’t mean to imply it was a bad name, Arlo. But out here, in the middle of the jungle, it just seems—out of place.”
“People are just as happy here as they are where you come from. It’s all relative to their expectations.”
“But are you happy here, Arlo? I know you always said this is what you wanted, but sometimes I’ve wondered what might have happened to you if you’d gone into your grandfather’s surgery the way he’d wanted, or accepted any of the offers you had.”
“I was happy here when I was a kid, traipsing around from village to village with my parents, and I still am. It was the choice I had to make because I wouldn’t have been happy anyplace else, practicing any other kind of medicine.”
He’d never doubted his decision either. He’d lived the traditional life for a while, and he’d lived this life. Ultimately, this was where he wanted to be. Where his heart was. And when he and Layla were together, that had always been the thing she couldn’t, or had refused to understand. Accepting a position elsewhere might have been easier, but easier didn’t mean better. At least, not for him.
“Anyway, I don’t really have good sleeping accommodations for you. Tallaja, my assistant, usually sleeps in the ward when we have patients or the office when we don’t. He’s pretty flexible about that, but I’m guessing you won’t be.”
“As long as I have mosquito netting, it doesn’t matter.”
“Seriously? You’ve been doing your homework, haven’t you?”
“I don’t step into things blindly, Arlo. Except maybe our relationship.”
“I never considered it being blind. Not one day of it.” Arlo stepped aside as Layla marched up steps and pushed past him into Happy Hospital, brushing up against him just slightly, but enough to raise goosebumps on his arms. It was a familiar feeling—one he didn’t want to have. But every time she’d ever touched him, even innocently like just now, she’d caused that reaction that would, inevitably, lead to another reaction, then another, until Damn. Why these thoughts? Why now when he was just coming to terms with the fact that he would never have enough to offer anyone else a decent life?
Even when he had been with Layla, Arlo had always known she would come to her senses about who he was and what he’d never have to offer her. It hadn’t stopped him from getting involved, but it had always held him back from getting too involved. Back at the beginning, he’d drawn his own line in the sand then taken good care never, ever to step over it, except for that one moment near the end when he’d asked her to come to Thailand with him.
Stupid mistake. He’d known that as the words had come out, and he’d still felt the sting of her rejection a week later when he’d walked away, even
