here in Royal, so I’m guessing you know they have twin boys and a little girl?”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling wistfully. “Last time I came home to visit my dad before he—well, I made sure you were nowhere around and I met Terri and the kids in town.”
Nodding, he said only, “The twins are in kindergarten now and Emily’s talking all the time.”
A small ache settled in her chest, thinking about Nathan’s nephews and niece. Children always did that to her, though—made her remember that she’d been cheated out of her child. Amanda had been playing what-if for more than seven years—wondering how her life might be different if only she hadn’t lost Nathan’s child. They’d have married, of course—Nathan wouldn’t have had it any other way. But would they be happy? Or would he have always felt trapped by circumstances? Would she always wonder if he really loved her or had married her solely out of duty? Questions she would never have the answers to.
She tried to shake them off. “Emily’s almost two now, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, and a beauty. Has Jake wrapped around her tiny fingers, too.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Hard to believe sometimes that Jake’s a father, but he’s damn good at it.”
So would you have been, she couldn’t help thinking. And maybe his thoughts were mirroring hers because his features slid into more somber lines.
A few miles of silence filled the big black car before Nathan took a turn she recognized.
“So we’re not going to the ranch house at all.”
“Nope.”
“We’re going to the river.”
“That’s the plan.”
Nerves jittered and Amanda told herself not to build anything out of this. After all, Nathan had grown up on this land. He and Jake had spent most of their childhoods at the river, fishing, swimming, avoiding chores. For him, this place was just a part of his life. There was no reason to believe that Nathan felt the same…affection for this spot that she did. For Amanda, this river was magical. This one slice of his family’s ranch would always be special to her.
Cutting right through the heart of the Battlelands, the fast-moving river was shaded on either bank by ancient live oaks. It was cool and green and lush. As they approached, she couldn’t help remembering—and didn’t try too hard to stop—that she and Nathan had been in this private place when they made love for the first time so long ago.
Her heartbeat quickened as the memories inside her mind played out like a movie. She could see them both so easily. Young, eager, and for her at least, so much in love she was drowning in the overflow of emotions. Nerves had been thick, but desire was more prominent. It was as if in this one place, time had stopped. The world had dropped away and she became a part of the one man she had always wanted.
Was he remembering? Did he think about that night and all the nights that had followed? Did he have the same regrets she did? Or had he really moved on from their shared past—and if he had, why were they here together now?
The sun was so low now, that only the barest hint of color remained in the sky. Amanda turned her head to the side, looking away from Nathan. What was she supposed to think about this? What was he expecting? Was he deliberately trying to recreate that night? Did he really think that after all these years, all it would take is this one romantic setting and time would roll back?
Oh, God. What if he was right?
The Texas landscape stretched out for miles beneath a faintly rose-colored sky. Grasses waved in a sultry wind on either side of the lonely road and Amanda drew an uneasy breath. Years without Nathan and now, in a single day, he was wiping away the emptiness and drawing her back into a net designed to reawaken emotions she’d thought long buried. How could he take her from fury to desire so easily? And how could she defend her heart against him when all she really wanted was what they’d once had?
“Look familiar?” he asked, voice deep enough to rumble along her spine like tentative fingertips.
“Really does,” she said, steeling herself before she turned to look at his profile in the growing darkness. She couldn’t read on his face what he was thinking. As always, he had tucked his emotions away, offering the world no peek at what he was feeling. “Why are we here, Nathan?”
He glanced at her, then shifted his gaze back to the road. “We need to talk and I couldn’t think of a more private place.”
Oh, it was private all right, Amanda thought as another slow swirl of anticipation spread through her. This could be dangerous, she warned herself, but at the same time, she wasn’t that young, desperately-in-love girl anymore. She’d grown and changed and lived through a heartbreak she had thought at the time would kill her. She was strong enough now to withstand the churning emotions inside. Strong enough to hold her own against a man who was an overwhelming presence in her life.
At least, she hoped she was.
Otherwise, history would repeat itself tonight—and she honestly couldn’t have said which she was hoping for.
He pulled the car off the road and steered it toward a stand of oaks. She took a breath and let it out slowly, determined to keep what she was feeling to herself. Shouldn’t be hard since her feelings right now were so jumbled even she was confused.
He parked the truck beside the trees, then gave her a look she couldn’t interpret. “Everything should be ready. Let’s go.”
She had no idea what he was talking about but there was only one way to answer her questions. Besides, Amanda wasn’t about to let him know that being here made her feel as if she were off balance on a high wire. She opened the door and stepped out into the warm embrace of the summer air. Tipping her head back, she glanced up at the sky. The first stars were just blinking in and out of existence as clouds scudded past. The wind was soft, like a warm caress, as she walked around the front of the car to join Nathan. “What’re you up to?”
He smiled. “Come with me and see.”
He held out one hand toward her and Amanda hesitated only a moment before laying her palm against his. She was in this far, she told herself, no point in trying to back out now. Besides, she was curious.
Why had he brought her here? What was ready? And who was this man, anyway? Less than a week ago, he’d told her flat out that he wanted her to leave town. Tonight, he was being Prince Charming. Tall, dark, gorgeous and using his smile like a well-honed weapon.
She was completely unsteady and she thought that was exactly the way he wanted her.
Nathan gave her hand a gentle squeeze, then led her through the trees to the river. The whisper of leaves sounded overly loud, like hushed conversations you couldn’t quite make out, and the muted roar of the river grew louder as they walked closer. Wind plucked at her hair, her heels wobbled on the sunbaked ground. Nathan lifted branches out of their way as they passed and she felt herself slipping further and further into the past as memories became as thick as the shadows.
They stepped free of the trees and Amanda stopped dead, pulling her hand free of Nathan’s to stare at what lay in front of her. A blue-and-white quilt was spread out on the grass. A hurricane lamp was lit, the flame flickering in the soft breeze. A cooler sat at one side of the blanket and two place settings of china and crystal were laid out, just
