Her body betrayed her. She couldn’t resist Raul, even knowing their relationship was tragically one-sided. Lately too, the more she tried to pull back and develop some protective distance, the more determined he seemed to invade her space.
Yet there was no gleam in his eyes now, just the shadow of a frown.
‘Of course. Everything’s fine.’ With a supreme effort Luisa pasted a smile on her lips as she lied.
She teetered on a knife-edge of despair. She’d given her heart to a man who couldn’t reciprocate her feelings. And now it seemed possible there’d be a child.
Her emotions were like a seesaw. One moment she was thrilled at the idea of carrying Raul’s baby, at the new life she hoped she cradled in her womb. The next chill fear gripped her at the idea of bringing a child into this tiny family so unlike anything she’d dreamed of. Love was anathema to Raul yet it was her hidden secret. What sort of world was that in which to raise a child?
That was when she hoped against hope the pregnancy was a false alarm and guilt ate her, for wishing away such a precious gift.
She couldn’t blame Raul. With his past it was no wonder he’d cut himself off from the deepest of emotions. She didn’t even know if he believed in love!
As for his unswerving dedication to his country, putting it ahead of personal relationships, she could understand that too.
When she’d translated the papers about that trial she’d been stunned to learn the key role Raul had played in the investigation, as well as the political ramifications of the plot. Maritz needed Raul even more than Raul needed the satisfaction of fulfilling the role he was born to.
‘Luisa?’
‘Yes?’ She looked over his shoulder and waved. ‘What did you think of the garden site? It’s got potential, don’t you think? And the locals are very enthusiastic.’ Great. Now she was babbling.
‘The site is excellent.’ He paused and she sensed he chose his words carefully. ‘You seem … not as exuberant as usual.’
Luisa darted a glance at him then away, her stomach churning. ‘I didn’t think exuberance in a princess was a good thing.’ She clenched nervous hands and searched for a neutral topic. ‘The project’s going well, don’t you think?’ Or had she already said that? Her brain was scrambled.
‘Very well. You should be pleased.’
‘I am. The volunteers have worked so hard.’
‘You’ve worked hard too.’ His brows puckered. ‘You haven’t been overdoing it, have you?’
Luisa’s breath snagged. Had he guessed? She’d been forced from bed earlier and earlier by what she suspected was morning sickness. She didn’t want Raul to see her white, nauseous and bedraggled. Especially when she didn’t know how he’d react to the news.
It was one thing for him to say he’d break with tradition in bringing up a child. Another to welcome their baby with the whole-hearted love it deserved.
In that moment she decided. The idea of a trip home to see Mary and Sam had lurked in the back of her mind for days. Now the need for their warmth and unquestioning support was too much to resist. She’d visit them and discreetly schedule a doctor’s appointment, something that was impossible here.
Imagine even visiting a pharmacy in Maritz to buy a pregnancy test kit! The news would be in the press before nightfall.
Luisa needed time and space to come to grips with the changes in her life. She’d go as soon as the coronation was over.
‘Of course I haven’t overdone it. I’m fit as ever.’
He placed his hands over hers. Instantly she froze. She hadn’t realised she’d been wringing them. His warmth flowed into her and for a moment her racing brain calmed. Perhaps after all she could—
‘You didn’t cross the site to say hello to the people on the far side of the block.’
Luisa drew a steadying breath. ‘We’d run out of time. I know you have a meeting and I’d already been there a while before you arrived.’
‘Still—’ his gaze pierced hers ‘—normally you make time for everyone.’
‘You wanted to see them?’ She’d been so eager to get away, to find quiet in which to think.
‘No, you’re right.’ He shook his head. ‘I’d run out of time. It just seemed … unlike you.’
Luisa flexed her fingers and instantly he released his grip and moved away.
Pain gripped her chest.
See? It wasn’t that he wanted to hold her. Except of course when they had sex. He was just making sure she was well enough to carry out her duties.
Raul’s meeting had been endless. Time and again he’d caught himself staring at his watch, calculating how long before he could get away.
He should be pleased. All was set for the coronation next week and negotiations with formerly difficult local leaders had proved fruitful.
Yet he couldn’t concentrate. Luisa had seemed strained earlier this afternoon. This morning he’d woken to find she’d slipped from his bed again. What had begun as an occasional irritation was now a worrying habit.
He felt unsettled when she wasn’t there. He liked waking with her. Not only for the physical satisfaction of early morning sex. But because she made him feel good. Relaxed. Content.
Strange, when in the past he’d preferred to sleep alone. But so many things about his marriage were unusual.
Like the way he watched Luisa. She was vibrant and attractive, though not as gorgeous as some women he’d known. Yet he found himself watching her all the time, smiling when she smiled, enjoying her interactions with others and her combination of spunk and intelligence during their own discussions.
Though there hadn’t been many of those lately. His fingers tightened on the neck of the chilled champagne bottle. Tonight would be different.
He put his head in the outer office before leaving for the private apartments.
‘Clear my calendar for the fortnight after the coronation, can you?’ He was determined to spend time alone with Luisa. Now things were stable he’d take time off and give her a honeymoon they’d both enjoy.
He couldn’t think of anything he enjoyed more than being with his wife.
‘Yes, sir.’ The junior secretary took a note.
‘Don’t book anything else in my wife’s diary either. I’ll talk to her about clearing her dates as well.’
He smiled. A couple of weeks at his secluded lakeside retreat. It would be beautiful at this time of year. Luisa would love it and they could be alone.
‘I’m sorry, sir.’ The girl frowned. ‘The princess is booked on a flight the day after the coronation.’
‘A flight? It must be a mistake.’
