reached for the phone.
Luisa watched Raul, so intent on the lawyer’s news.
See? She’d been right about his priorities. As his wife she came somewhere near the bottom.
He’d challenged her about her trip to Australia and she’d waited, half dreading, half hoping he’d decree she couldn’t go, say she had to remain, not for reasons of state but because he couldn’t bear to be parted from her.
She’d imagined being swept into his arms, hauled against his hard torso and imprisoned there. Because he loved her as she loved him and he refused to release her.
Reality was so different.
‘There’s something I need to attend to.’
Wearily she nodded. There’d always be something more important than the state of their marriage. Dejectedly she wondered if perhaps it would be better if she left and didn’t return.
‘Luisa, did you hear me?’
‘Sorry?’ She looked up to find him already reaching for the door.
‘I said we need to talk, properly. I’ll be back as soon as I can.’
Luisa nodded, donning the mask of composure that now felt brittle enough to crack. Or was that her heart? Her last hope for a real marriage had just shattered.
‘THANK YOU, everyone.’ Raul nodded to the High Court judges, the Attorney General and the other witnesses who’d been urgently summoned two hours ago on his orders to witness this history-altering event.
In other circumstances he’d be excited at the prospect of initiating such significant change. But it was all he could do to wait patiently while they filed slowly from the chamber, leaving him alone.
So alone.
His mind snagged on the image of Luisa just hours ago in her room, pale and strained as she spoke of the need to get away. The hurt she’d felt at her place in his life.
How deeply he’d injured her, forcing her into his world.
Was he doing the right thing now, trying to tie her to him more strongly than ever? He looked at the parchment on the desk, checked, signed, countersigned and witnessed. The document he’d long planned as a surprise for Luisa, a testament of his regard for her.
The document that now represented his last-ditch, desperate effort to convince her to stay.
Did he have the right to try to hold her when life with him had made her so patently unhappy?
Until today he’d thought her content. More than content: happy.
Was he doomed never to find that emotional closeness Luisa had spoken of so longingly? Was he simply not the right man to make her happy?
Pain seared through his clenched jaw at the notion of letting her go.
Terror engulfed him at the thought of life without her.
But who could blame her? He’d never experienced real love and surely that lack had left him emotionally flawed. Was he incapable of providing what she needed in a husband?
If she wanted to be here it would be different. Together they could face anything. If she cared for him …
His bark of raw laughter was loud in the silence. How could Luisa care for him after what he’d done to her? He’d deluded himself, believing things had changed between them these past weeks. The way she’d shied from his touch this evening said it all.
He turned to the window and looked at the glitter of city lights below. Normally he enjoyed the view of the capital he loved, the valley that had been home to his family for centuries. That sense of place, of belonging, always brought comfort.
Not now. Now all he felt was the terrible aloneness.
Life without Luisa.
He couldn’t conceive it. His brain shut down every time he thought about it and a terrible hollow ache filled him. His very hands shook at the idea of her on a plane to Australia without him.
He should do the honourable thing and let her go. Release her from this life she’d never desired.
Yet he wanted to throw back his head and howl his despair at the idea of losing her. His pulse raced and his skin prickled with sweat at the thought of never seeing her again. Never holding her.
Never telling her how he felt.
Excruciating pain ripped at him, giant talons that tore at his soul.
It was no good, try as he might to be self-sacrificing, this was more than he could bear. It was asking too much.
He grabbed the parchment and rolled it quickly, heedless of the still drying wax seals. Turning on his heel he strode to the door.
Luisa woke slowly, clinging to a surprisingly wonderful dream.
After hours pacing the floor she’d retreated to bed. And still she’d tortured herself reliving the blank look on Raul’s face as he’d left her, already intent on other business. The fact that he hadn’t countermanded her trip to Sydney. That he didn’t care.
Now she felt … safe, cocooned in a warm haven that protected her from everything. She didn’t want to move.
But she had no choice. Even in her half aware state she registered the sick feeling, the rising nausea. She breathed deep, trying to force it back but it was no good.
With a desperate lurch she struggled upright, only to find her movements impeded by the large man wrapped around her back. His legs spooned hers, his palm on her stomach.
‘Raul!’ It was a raw croak. What was he doing here? When had he—?
Her stomach heaved and she thrust his confining arm away, swinging her legs off the bed.
‘Luisa!’ His voice was sharp. ‘What’s wrong?’
She had no time for explanations. She stumbled across the room, one hand to her stomach, the other clamped to her mouth as she tasted bile.
Miraculously the bathroom door swung open and she dived in just in time to brace herself as her last meal resurfaced. Her legs wobbled so much her knees folded and she almost crumpled to the floor.
But an arm lashed round her, keeping her upright with all Raul’s formidable strength. Behind her she felt his body, hot and solid, anchoring her.
Then she bent, retching as the paroxysm of nausea overcame her. Her skin prickled horribly and searing bitterness filled her as her stomach spasmed again and again till there was nothing more to bring up.
She slumped, trembling and spent, eyes closed as she tried to summon
