… I was thinking of adopting Leyla!’ Ruby flung at him, finally putting into words the idea that had been growing at the back of her mind for two weeks and working on her until it began to seem a possibility rather than a wild idea. ‘I know you’ll probably think I’m crazy but I’ve become very fond of Leyla. Whatever it takes, I’d very much like to give her a home.’
Astonished by that outspoken admission, Raja studied her. ‘But you’re planning to divorce me …’
Ruby frowned. ‘Well, eventually, yes, but—’
‘Then I suspect that you have not thought this idea through,’ Raja intoned. ‘The Ashuri Court of Family Law would not countenance foreign adoption and would wish the child to be raised here where she was born with her own language and people. I doubt that you are willing to offer her that option.’
‘I would love her,’ Ruby breathed in stark disagreement as the limo drew up outside the side entrance to the palace. ‘Leyla needs love more than she needs anything else!’
‘Love is not always enough,’ Raja drawled softly.
In receipt of that hoary old chestnut, Ruby shot him a furious look of disagreement and took the stairs to their suite two at a time. Her heart was hammering like mad behind her breastbone because she was genuinely upset. Having finally got up the courage to voice her hopes with regard to Leyla, she had been shot down in flames. The hard facts Raja had voiced rankled and hurt. Evidently there was no question of her trying to adopt Leyla if she was planning to ultimately divorce Raja. But was she planning to divorce him?
Exactly when would she be able to walk away from Raja without that decision impacting on the stability of Ashur? She could not imagine a date even on the horizon when she might leave her marriage without there being a risk of it leading to political upheaval in her late father’s country. Her decision to marry Raja had been rash in the extreme, she conceded ruefully. She had not looked into the future. She had failed to recognise that a short-term fix might be almost worse for her country of birth than her refusing outright to marry Raja. A divorce would unleash more political and economic turmoil. Raja was right about that, for she had listened to people talking and seen for herself how much weight rested on their marriage as a symbol of unity and reconciliation. An image of Leyla’s tear-stained little face swam before her now and her heart turned over inside her chest.
‘What do you know about love?’ Ruby demanded, challenging Raja as she poured the mint tea waiting for them on a tray. ‘Have you ever been in love?’
‘Once was enough,’ he admitted sardonically.
Ironically Ruby felt affronted by that admission. He didn’t love her but he had fallen for someone else? ‘Who was she?’
His lean strong face took on a wry expression. ‘Her name was Isabel. We met as students at Oxford. I was besotted with her.’ He grimaced, openly inviting her amusement. ‘We read poetry and went everywhere together holding hands.’
‘People apparently do stuff like that when they’re in love,’ Ruby remarked stiltedly, well aware that he had never shown any desire to read her a poem or to hold her hand and, as a result, feeling distinctly short-changed rather than amused.
‘The romance turned into a nightmare,’ Raja confided tight-mouthed, his beautiful dark eyes bleak with recollection. ‘She was very jealous and possessive. Everything was a drama with her. If I even spoke to another woman she threw a scene. I was nineteen years old and totally inexperienced with your sex.’
Sipping the mint tea, which she had learned to find refreshing, Ruby was touched by his honesty, for baring his soul did not come naturally to a man accustomed to keeping his own counsel and concealing his feelings. ‘At that age you must have found a volatile woman hard to cope with.’
‘She threatened to kill herself when I tried to break it off. I stood up to her but she carried through her threat—she did take an overdose,’ he admitted gravely, acknowledging her wince of sympathy with compressed lips. ‘When I said it was a nightmare I wasn’t exaggerating. Eventually Isabel’s parents put her into a clinic to be treated for depression. It took me a long time to extract myself from my entanglement with her.’
‘And of course it put you off what she saw as love,’ Ruby conceded thoughtfully, understanding that perfectly, her brown eyes soft as she tried to picture him as a naive teenager spouting poetry and holding hands. ‘But Isabel sounds as if she had a very twisted idea of love. It was just your bad luck to meet a woman like that and get burned.’
Raja shrugged a broad shoulder in a fatalistic gesture.
‘My mum, though—she got burned twice over,’ Ruby volunteered, startling him. ‘She lacked good judgement. She just fell in love and believed the man would be perfect. My father married his second wife behind her back and then told Mum he had no choice because he needed a son and she had had to have a hysterectomy after giving birth to me.’
‘And the second burning?’ Raja queried curiously, for he was already familiar with the first, although he had been given a rather different version.
Ruby grimaced. ‘The reason Hermione distrusts men around me—my stepfather, Curtis. He was always trying it on with me—’
‘Your stepfather tried to abuse you?’ Raja ground out in an appalled tone, black brows drawing together.
Ruby nodded in uneasy confirmation. ‘He started bothering me when I was about twelve. By then Mum was going out several nights a week to a part-time job and I was left alone in the house with him.’
Raja was outraged that she had been targeted at such a tender age by a man within her own home where she should have been safe. For the first time he understood what had given Ruby her essentially feisty and independent nature as well as her distrust of his sex. Angry concern in his gaze, Raja was frowning. ‘You didn’t tell your mother what he was doing, did you?’ he guessed. ‘Why not?’
‘Because it would’ve broken her heart,’ Ruby proffered heavily. ‘She adored Curtis and she’d had a bad enough time with my father.’
‘Your stepfather never actually managed to touch you?’
‘No, but I lived in terror that he would. It was such a relief for me when he walked out on us. He made me very suspicious of men. He also left Mum absolutely broke.’ Ruby set down her cup and began to move towards the bedroom.
‘Ruby?’
Ruby glanced back at him warily.
‘How much do you want to give Leyla a home?’
Ruby paled and contrived to look both very young and very determined. ‘I’ve never wanted anything more …’ Apart from you, but that was a truth she refused to voice, watching him as he stood there poised, darkly beautiful and dangerous to her every sense and emotion.
‘I will make enquiries on our behalf—’
‘Our?’
‘Only a couple could be considered to adopt her. It would have to be a joint application from us both.’
Astonished by that speech, Ruby trembled with emotion. ‘Is that an offer?’
Raja surveyed her steadily.
