of her bottom were branded in his mind. Now he was looking down at her lovely pale stomach as he massaged the injection in, and he saw the dots of bruises and his fingers wanted to wander there too. More than that he knew she was watching his fingers, knew he should stop now, or that she could take over, but they both just stood very close, looking down. And he actually wondered if it was wrong just how turned on he was now and, no, he did not want to fancy her.
It had been a hell of a day, a completely wretched day, and he blamed it on the funeral as he lingered a little too long. And Penny looked at his mouth and blamed it all on the hormones she was taking, because she was holding back from kissing him.
‘Okay!’ It was Ethan who took control, whose mind sort of jolted and alerted him to the fact that the woman he was very close to kissing, the woman he was hard for now, was very actively trying to get pregnant.
‘You’re done,’ Ethan said. He picked up the kidney dish, turned his back and made a big deal about tipping the contents into the sharps dispenser.
She was a close colleague too, Ethan told himself. And an absolute cow to work with, he reminded himself a few times—except he knew why now.
No, he did not want to fancy Penny.
As Penny did up her zipper and smoothed down her blouse she was not sure what, if anything, had happened just then. She was embarrassed at her tears, of course, but there was something else swirling in the room with them, an energy that must not be acknowledged.
‘Thank you.’
‘No problem,’ Ethan clipped. ‘Same time tomorrow, then?’
‘Please,’ Penny said. ‘I mean, yes.’
ETHAN WAS ACTUALLY on a day off the next day.
He woke late, saw the black suit over the chair and tried not to think about yesterday.
Tried not to, because it had been a day of hellish emotion and it seemed impossible to think that Justin would be back at school today and the world was moving on, but not for some.
The transplant co-ordinator had been called up for the head injury patient, Heath, later in the evening, he had heard. Ethan had seen the boy’s parents sobbing outside the ambulance bay on his way home.
Waking up to grief was a lot like waking up with a hangover, Ethan decided as he pieced together the previous day and braced himself to face the upcoming one. He lay there, eyes closed, trying to summon up the energy to move, to get on with his day. He should maybe ring his aunt and uncle, Ethan thought, see how they were, but he couldn’t stomach it. Or ring his sister and find out how the rest of the wake had been.
Except he just wanted to be alone, just as he had wanted to be alone last night. He hadn’t been able to face a bar. Even Kelly, a friend, who was more than a friend sometimes, had called, and knowing how tough the day would have been had suggested coming over.
He hadn’t wanted that either.
He could go and do something, maybe a long drive down to the Ocean Road, just stay a night in Torquay or Lorne perhaps, watch the waves, get away, except, just as he thought he had a plan Ethan remembered he had to be at the hospital at six to give Penny her injection.
Penny.
Ethan blew out a breath as he recalled the near miss last night.
What the hell had he been thinking? Or rather, he hadn’t been thinking in the least.
Still, he kept getting glimpses of coral underwear flashing before his eyes throughout the day.
He’d expected flesh coloured.
Not that he’d thought about it.
But had he thought about it, then flesh coloured it would be.
Sensible, seamless, Ethan decided as he drove to the hospital. Not that she’d need a bra.
Not that he’d noticed.
Ethan pulled into his parking spot and tried to go back, tried to rewind the clock to a few days ago, when he hadn’t remotely thought of her in that way. When she had just been a sour-faced colleague who was difficult to work with, one who hadn’t turned round and bewitched him with a smile.
‘What are you doing here?’ Rex asked as Ethan walked through the department, for once out of scrubs and dressed in black jeans and a black top.
‘I need to take some work home. Is it just you on?’ Ethan asked casually.
‘Nope,’ Rex said. ‘Penny’s on.’ He pulled a poker face. ‘She’s just taking a break.’
Ethan knew that because he’d texted her to say that he was here, but he didn’t want anyone getting even a hint so he stood and chatted with Rex a moment before heading to Penny’s office.
‘Sorry to mess up your day off.’
He checked the dose again, and she undid her zipper and just stared at the door as she lowered her skirt. Penny closed her eyes and hyperventilated but managed to stay much calmer, even if her knuckles were white as she clutched the desk behind her. In turn, Ethan was very gruff and businesslike and what they had both been silently nervous about happening was nowhere near repeated. In fact, it was all over and done with very quickly.
‘Thanks for this.’
‘No problem,’ Ethan said.
‘Will you carry on working?’ Ethan asked, and Penny frowned as she tucked her shirt in. ‘When you have the baby I mean.’
‘If I have one,’ Penny said. ‘Did you ask Gordon the same question?’
‘No.’ He was so not into political correctness. ‘But then again, Gordon isn’t a single dad. And,’ he added, ‘despite his account of it, Gordon wasn’t actually the one who got pregnant and gave birth.’
Penny laughed.
‘Shall we go and see them?’ Ethan said. ‘It’s quiet out there at the moment and Rex is in. We could head up and just get it over with.’
‘Get it over with?’ Penny smiled. She had been thinking exactly the same thing. Gordon really could be the most crushing bore and she’d never really had a conversation with Hilary, a paediatrician, that hadn’t revolved around baby poo.
‘Sorry.’ Ethan didn’t know he was being teased. ‘That was a bit …’
‘Don’t you like babies?’ Penny asked as they headed towards the lifts that would take them to the maternity unit.
‘Actually, no.’ Ethan was honest. ‘I don’t actively dislike them or anything. My sister has had three now. I like the five-year-old, he makes me laugh sometimes.’
‘How old is your sister?’
‘Thirty-six,’ Ethan said,
