and there were streamers looping between the chandeliers and a banner covering the wall behind the mahogany dining table that had been shifted in here from the adjoining dining room. A table that was laden with perfectly decorated cakes and cookies and any number of other delicious treats that had been provided by professional caterers.
Cameron, with his half-unwrapped parcel in his arms, ran towards the pile of other gifts near the table, Max hot on his heels. A maid he didn’t recognise came towards the adults with a silver tray laden with flutes of champagne.
‘Orange juice for me, thanks,’ Elijah said. Miranda just shook her head politely and went after the twins to help them with the unwrapping.
‘So what’s with your flying visit?’ he asked Zac. ‘And why should I know about it?’
‘Because I’m here for an interview. I’ve applied for a job at Manhattan Mercy that starts next month.’
‘Really? Wow...’ Charles took a sip of his champagne. ‘That’s great, man. And there I was thinking you were going to be a navy medic for the rest of your life.’
Zac shrugged. ‘Maybe I’m thinking that life’s short, you know? If I don’t get around to building some bridges soon, it’s never going to happen.’
Charles could only nod. He knew better than anyone how short life could be, didn’t he? About the kind of jagged hole that could be left when someone you loved got ripped from it.
But that hole had been covered last night, hadn’t it? Just for a moment or two, he had stepped far enough away from it for it to have become invisible. And it had been that perfect family scene that had led him away. His two boys, under the sheltering arms of someone who had looked, for all the world, like their mother. With a loyal family pet at their feet, even.
But now Zac had shown him the signpost that led straight back to the gaping hole in his life.
And Elijah was shaking his head. ‘I hope you’re not harbouring any hope of this lot playing happy families any time soon.’
They all turned their gazes on their parents. Hugo and Miranda were both down on the floor with the twins. Miranda’s gifts of a new toy car for Cameron and a tractor for Max had been opened and set aside and now the first of the many parcels from the grandparents were being opened. It looked like it was a very large train set, judging by the lengths of wooden rails that were appearing. The level of excitement was increasing and Charles needed to go and share it. Maybe that way, the twins wouldn’t notice the way their grandmother was perched on a sofa at some distance, merely watching the spectacle.
‘Anyone else coming?’ Zac asked. ‘Where’s Penny?’
‘Still on holiday. Skiing, I think. Or was it sky-diving?’
‘Sounds like her. And Jude? I’d love to catch up with him.’
‘Are you kidding?’ Elijah’s eyebrows rose. ‘Being a cousin is a perfect “get out of jail” card for most of our family get-togethers.’
Charles moved away from his brothers. It was always like this. Yes, there were moments of joy to be found in his family but the undercurrents were strong enough to mean that there was always tension. And most of that tension came from Vanessa and Elijah.
You had to make allowances, of course. It was his mother who’d been hardest hit by the scandal of learning that her husband had been having an affair that had resulted in a child—Miranda. That knowledge would have been hard enough, but to find out because Miranda’s mother had died and her father had insisted on acknowledging her and bringing her into the family home had been unbearable for Vanessa.
Unbearable for everyone. The difference in age between himself and his twin might have been insignificant but Charles had always known that he was the oldest child. The firstborn. And that came with a responsibility that he took very seriously. That turbulent period of the scandal had been his first real test and he’d done everything he could to comfort his siblings—especially Elijah, who’d been so angry and bitter. To protect the frightened teenager who had suddenly become one of their number as well. And to support his devastated mother, who was being forced to start an unexpected chapter in her life.
Like the authors of many of the gossip columns, he’d expected his mother would walk away from her marriage but Vanessa had chosen not to take that option. She’d claimed that she didn’t want to bring more shame on the Davenport family but they all knew that what scared her more would have been walking away from her own exalted position in New York society and the fundraising efforts that had become her passion.
To outward appearances, the shocking changes had been tolerated with extraordinary grace. Behind closed doors, however, it had been a rather different story. There were no-go areas that Vanessa had constructed for her own protection and nobody, including her husband, would dream of intruding on them uninvited.
Charles had always wondered if he could have done more, especially for Elijah, who had ended up so bitter about marriage and what he sarcastically referred to as ‘happy families’. If he could have done a better job as the firstborn, maybe he could have protected his family more successfully, perhaps by somehow diverting the destructive force of the scandal breaking. It hadn’t been his fault, of course, any more than Nina’s death had been. Why didn’t that lessen the burden that a sense of responsibility created?
But surely enough time had passed to let them all move on?
Charles felt tired of it all suddenly. The effort it had taken to try and keep his shattered family together would have been all-consuming at any time. To have had it happen in the run-up to his final exams had been unbelievably difficult. Life-changing.
If it hadn’t happened, right after that night he’d shared with Grace, how different might his life have been?
Would he have shut her out so completely? Pretended that night had never happened because that was a factor he had absolutely no head space to even consider?
To his shame, Charles had been so successful in shutting it out in that overwhelmingly stressful period, he had never thought of how it might have hurt Grace.
Was that why she’d pretty much flinched during that kiss last night? Why she’d practically run away from him as hard and fast as she could politely manage?
Receiving that photo this morning had felt kind of like Grace was sending an olive branch. An apology for running, perhaps. Or at least an indication that they could still be friends?
The effect was a swirl of confusion. He had glimpsed something huge that was missing from his life, along with the impression that Grace was possibly the only person who could fill that gap. The very edges of that notion should be stirring his usual reaction of disloyalty to Nina that thoughts of including any other woman in his life usually engendered.
But it wasn’t happening...
Because there was a part of his brain that was standing back and providing a rather different perspective? Would Nina have wanted her babies to grow up without a mom?
Would he have wanted them to grow up without a dad, if he’d been the one to die too soon?
Of course not.
He had experienced the first real surge of physical desire in three long years, too. That should be sparking the guilt but it didn’t seem to be. Not in the way he’d become so accustomed
