but he’d never been able to take care of himself. The questionable decisions he made kept snowballing into more bad decisions—each one seemingly worse than the last. He always counted on her as a crutch to fall back on. What would happen to him if she left? Would he finally man up and take control of his life? See just how dependent he’d become and actually want to change?
More to the point: What would happen with Cameron? Before she made the decision, she would have to seriously consider gathering up the courage to tell him the secret she kept in the pit of her soul.
This job was a catalyst for pushing her in that direction. She needed to move on one way or another...though she’d rather move on with him. Either way, she’d know if years of wanting and dreaming had been for naught.
She’d wanted a relationship with him since they’d graduated high school, but the timing to reveal her feelings had never been right. Between her parents’ deaths, his deployment and Megan always putting her life on hold to help her brother, she just had never found an opening.
Cameron was the only solid foundation in her life. What happened if she told him how much she loved him and it ruined their friendship? Could she take that risk?
He’d told her he’d never consider being in a committed relationship. He’d shared the story of the night his partner had died and how he’d had to witness the widow’s complete breakdown. Cam had told her he’d never put anyone through that.
Still, she had to let him know how she felt. She couldn’t go through life playing the what-if game forever, and he deserved to know. By not giving him a chance to make a decision, she could be missing out on the best thing that had ever happened to her.
Megan folded her arms across the table and rested her head on them. She really had no choice...not if she wanted to live her life without regrets.
Some risks were worth taking. She knew without a doubt if Cameron wanted to take things beyond friendship, the joy would be totally worth the bundle of nerves that had taken up residence in her stomach.
* * *
Cameron had managed about a three-hour nap before the christening. He’d also showered and shaved for the occasion. His mother would be so proud.
He’d just finished adjusting his navy tie when his front door opened and closed. Heels clicked on the hardwood floor, growing louder as Megan approached the hallway. He assumed the visitor was Megan, unless one of his brothers had opted to don stilettos today.
He knew of Megan’s love for breakneck shoes when she wasn’t wearing her cowgirl boots. Didn’t matter to him if she was barefoot. Cameron had fought his attraction to Megan for a few years now. At first he’d thought the temptation would go away. No such luck. Being a cop’s wife, even in a small town, wasn’t something he’d put on anyone he cared about. He couldn’t handle knowing he’d put the worry and stress of being a cop’s wife on Megan, so he pulled up every bit of his self-control to block his true feelings.
Unfortunately, Cameron had never wanted to avoid his best friend as much as he did right this moment. Dread filled his stomach as he recalled the things he’d witnessed last night while monitoring the drugstore parking lot. The events that had unfolded on his watch put a whole new spin on this case...and quite possibly his relationship with Megan. No, not quite possibly. Without a doubt the new developments would shatter their perfect bond.
Her brother had gotten involved with the wrong crowd—a crowd Cameron was about to take down.
She deserved to be happy, deserved to live free from her brother’s illegal activities, and Cameron would do anything and everything to keep Megan safe.
Although he was torn about whether or not she should find out, he was obligated to his job first, which meant he had to keep every bit of this operation to himself. She would be hurt and angry when she discovered what her brother was doing, and even more so when she realized Cameron had hidden the truth from her.
“You wearing pants?” she called out.
With a chuckle, Cameron shoved his wallet and phone into his back pocket. “Pants are a requirement?”
When he stepped into the hall, he stopped short. Damn. Megan had always been beautiful, and she always presented herself as classy and polished for work, but this morning she looked even more amazing than usual. There went that twist to his heart, the one that confirmed she was the most perfect woman for him. But he couldn’t let her in, wouldn’t subject her to his chaotic schedule, his stress from the job. Because if he was stressed, he knew she’d want to take some on herself to relieve him of any burden. He’d signed up for this career...Megan hadn’t.
With her fitted red dress, a slim black belt accentuating her small waist and rounded hips and her dark hair down around her shoulders, she stole his breath—something that rarely happened with any woman. Always Megan. Everything was always centered around Megan. She was special.
Which was why he shouldn’t be looking at her as if she were a woman he’d met at a bar and wanted to bring home for the night. Not that he remembered what that was like. He hadn’t been in a bar for personal recreation in so long, never mind bringing a woman back to his bed.
Megan deserved to be treasured, to be loved and come first in any man’s life. Unfortunately he could only offer two of the three.
Cameron had always figured one of his brothers would scoop Megan up, and the thought had crippled him each time the image crept through his mind. Thankfully, both Eli and Drake had found the loves of their lives. Cameron was thrilled for them, but love wasn’t for all the St. John boys. Cameron barely had time to catch any sleep, let alone devote to a relationship.
“Should I go back home and change?” she asked, raising a brow with a smirk on her face. “You’re staring at me.”
“No, no.” He adjusted his jacket, hating the confining garment and feeling somewhat naked without his shoulder holster. “You’re just looking exceptionally beautiful this morning.”
“You mean my old paint-stained tank and tattered shorts I had on yesterday didn’t make me look beautiful?” She fluttered her eyelids in a mocking manner he found ridiculously attractive.
He loved that no matter what life threw at her, she always found a way to be a bit snarky. Why hadn’t some guy come along and swept her off her feet? Any man would be lucky to have her. She grilled an amazing steak, she was always there for him no matter what, she joked and she even drank beer with him.
If she married someone who loved her and treated her the way she deserved to be treated, Cameron might be able to get this notion that he was worthy of her out of his head. Because he sure as hell knew that was false. He wanted to see her happy with that family she’d always wanted. But she wasn’t even dating anybody. Still, he couldn’t tell her his feelings because there wasn’t a happy ending if he chose that path. Telling Megan would only cause an awkward, uncomfortable wedge between them, and hurting her in any way would destroy him.
As she stood in his hallway, looking like a classy pinup model with all her curves, Cameron cursed himself for allowing his thoughts to travel where they had no business going. Her curves weren’t new, but when the two of them got together she never dressed like this.
It was the dress. That perfectly molded dress. He was used to seeing her in professional work clothes or old tees and shorts. If he was looking at her in a way that stirred him, how would other men be looking at her today? They were attending a church service,
