fulfilled.
“I’m so glad you could make it.”
Bev St. John hugged Cameron after the christening service, then looped her arm through his as they walked back up the wide aisle of Santa Monica Church.
“You don’t know how much this means to me to have all my boys here for my first grandbaby’s milestone,” Bev said, her wide smile spreading across her face.
Straight ahead, near the tall double doors, Nora and Eli stood with Megan. Megan held his infant niece, who was just over a year old. Cameron’s heart filled. The glow on Megan’s face as she placed a kiss on top of Amber’s curly blond head solidified the fact he couldn’t be the man for her. She would be an amazing, loving, selfless mother. Just not to his kids.
Cameron’s dad, Mac, approached and looked over Megan’s shoulder, smiling down at his granddaughter. Cameron didn’t know where Megan would be if it weren’t for his family. She’d taken to them even before her parents had died suddenly, but she’d really leaned on them during that difficult time. Even as strong as Megan was, she’d been so blindsided by the shock of losing both parents, and then taking over the care of her younger brother when she’d barely gotten out of high school herself. “I’m so glad Megan could make it.” His mother’s soft tone pulled him back. “I just love that girl.”
Over the years his mother had made it no secret she wouldn’t mind Megan being part of the family—in the legal, choosing-china-patterns type of way. Of course now that Eli and Drake were taken, his mom would just have to settle for Megan being a friend and the daughter she’d never had.
Cameron steered them toward the little grouping, and Megan glanced up, caught his eye and smiled. Yeah, there was that invisible pull once again that threatened to wrap around his neck and strangle him.
He wanted her. Wanted her so much sometimes he physically hurt. But she deserved more.
The memory of the darkest time in his life took over. His partner had taken a bullet meant for Cameron. On his last breath, his partner had made Cameron promise to make sure his wife knew he loved her.
That moment changed everything. Letting a woman into his life, letting her get close enough to be devastated like his partner’s wife had been, was not something he’d ever take a chance with. If he entered into a deeper relationship with Megan and something happened to him, it would kill her. Besides, worrying about her while he was trying to do his job was a sure way for him to get hurt. He needed to concentrate, needed to keep Megan out of his mind.
If he could only figure out how the hell to do that.
“Megan, you look beautiful, as always.” His mom leaned forward and kissed Megan’s cheek. “Thanks for being here today.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Are you and Megan coming to eat with us after?” Eli asked Cameron. “We’re heading to that new Italian place just outside of town.”
Cameron started to agree, but Megan chimed in. “I have to get home, but if you want to go, go ahead.”
Oh, no. If she was going home to wait on her freeloading brother to show, Cameron would be right there with her. No way would Evan try to pull her into this latest mess. Hell no.
“I need to head out, too,” Cameron stated. Work was always beckoning, so he knew everyone would just assume that’s why he needed to go. “And she’s my ride.”
Cameron and Megan said their goodbyes and stepped out of the church. The bright sun hit them as they descended the concrete steps. Cameron pulled his glasses from his jacket pocket and slid them on to block the brightness. A headache from lack of sleep and plenty of worry had settled in, and the fiery glare was making it worse.
“Skipping out?”
Cameron turned to see his other brother, Drake. Right at his side was his fiancée, Marly, and Marly’s daughter, Willow.
“Megan and I need to head out,” he told Drake.
“You look pretty,” Willow said, standing beside Megan and looking up at her as if she were looking at a movie star. “I like your hair.”
The free-spirited little six-year-old had on her beloved cowgirl boots, as usual, and was sporting a new grin, sans two teeth.
Megan bent down and slid her hand through Willow’s long ponytail. “I love yours, too. I used to wear my hair just like this when I was your age. You have good taste.”
“I was going to call you,” Marly told Megan. “Nora and I were hoping for a girls’ night sometime soon. You interested?”
Megan smiled and nodded. “Sounds good. Just let me know when.”
More goodbyes were said, and finally Megan and Cameron were settled back in her SUV and headed toward their neighborhood.
“That was a beautiful service,” she commented after a bit. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“You’re family.” Cameron tried to hold back the yawn but couldn’t. Damn, he was getting too old to pull all-nighters. “You belong here, too.”
“You know, one day you may actually replace me with a girlfriend or a wife. I doubt she’ll understand if I’m still hanging around your family.”
Cameron snorted, shifted in his seat and rested his elbow on the console. “For one thing, you could never be replaced. For another, I think you know my stance on committed relationships and marriage.”
“Your reasons may be valid, but they can’t be your crutch for life.”
“It’s not a crutch,” he muttered in defense.
Megan threw him a glance and a smile as she pulled onto their road. “You never know when the right woman will come along and claim you.”
The only woman he’d ever allow to “claim” him was sitting right next to him, but he’d never do that to her. He’d seen firsthand what being a cop could do to even the strongest of marriages. Even though he and Megan had a bond that rivaled the toughest relationships, he wouldn’t put that kind of strain on something, or someone, so important.
She was part of his life in the deepest way he could allow and he’d just have to be satisfied with that. The fact she would likely marry one day was something he couldn’t even think about right now. If he thought of Megan with another man, Cameron would likely lose that wall of control he’d built up.
Megan put on her signal to turn into his drive.
“I’m going to your house,” he told her.
Totally ignoring him, she pulled up to his garage. After throwing her SUV in Park, she turned to face him, her green eyes studying his face. “You need to go in and get more sleep.”
She was preaching to the choir. Unfortunately, even if he went in, he wouldn’t be able to just close down and relax. Besides, he wanted to make sure Evan didn’t show up and try to pour on more guilt or ask for any favors.
“I’ll
