always planned to tell Simon the truth about his parentage at some point. She’d even thought this trip would be a good time to tell him that she’d met his biological father here, if it seemed appropriate. She’d planned to leave it up to him to decide if, when he was older, he wanted to find his father. Not that she’d have been able to assist him much. She and Adam hadn’t exchanged many personal details during their time together.
Maybe she could have located Adam before now, had she put in more effort. She could’ve persisted in her request for resort records. As a professor, she had strong research skills. There should have been ways to track him down, though his name was common enough to have made it difficult without more information. She could have even hired a private investigator, for that matter. She’d found plenty of reasons to rationalize her choice not to pursue the search. For one, Adam had been clear from the start that he’d had no interest in commitments. He hadn’t elaborated, but she’d gotten the impression he’d had important plans for after his vacation.
Having just defended her doctoral thesis and on the verge of beginning a new phase of her chosen career, Joanna hadn’t been looking for a serious relationship, either. She’d simply asked him to assure her he wasn’t married. Though she’d been amenable to a no-strings vacation fling, sleeping with a married man would have crossed a line for her. He’d promised her he was single and unattached, and she’d believed him. Foolish, perhaps, but she’d sensed from the beginning that Adam was trustworthy.
“How did it feel? Seeing him again, I mean?”
Joanna still didn’t know how to answer that question. It wasn’t as if she’d been in love with Adam. She hadn’t known him long enough for that. Of course, she’d thought of him since; after all, she lived with a daily reminder of him. And maybe she’d wondered if the blazing sexual chemistry between them might have led to more had the timing and circumstances been different. Their situation seemed even more problematic now, considering everything that had happened in the intervening years and the big life changes looming for her and Simon.
“Do you think he’ll want to be part of Simon’s life now? Is he going to cause you problems? If so, he’d better damned well be aware that he owes six years of back child support. Is he married now? That could be awkward, huh? Will he—”
“Maddie,” Joanna broke in quietly. “I don’t know any of those answers yet.”
And it was the not knowing that had her stomach tied in tight knots.
“Mom? Is there more yogurt?”
“Yes. Just a sec,” she called back to her son. “I should go, Maddie. I just needed to hear your voice.”
“Do you want me to come? I can be there in a few hours.”
Because she knew her sister would absolutely drop everything and rush to her side, Joanna blinked back tears. She was so very thankful they’d set aside their early differences and had become friends as adults. “I appreciate the offer, but I can handle it. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Good luck, Jo.”
“Thanks.” She was pretty sure she’d need it.
“Mom?”
“Coming,” she said. She put down her phone and moved to get the yogurt from the kitchenette fridge. Pausing in the open doorway with the container in hand, she studied her son with an ache of love in her heart. He looked so serious and sweet dawdling over his breakfast, a frown of concentration on his face as he memorized everything he was seeing on the tablet screen.
He was her everything.
Panic momentarily closed her throat. Her muscles quivered with a strong, if ill-advised, urge to run. She could be packed and checked out in less than twenty minutes. She could leave a note for Adam, which was more than he’d left her. Would he try to find them now that he knew about Simon? That would hardly be difficult if he worked for the resort and had access to her address. Would he disrupt the comfortable life she’d made? Or would he be relieved, instead, if she made it clear she’d ask for nothing from him?
No, she thought, moving forward to spoon a dollop of yogurt over the fruit remaining in Simon’s bowl. She wouldn’t run. She owed it to Simon, if not to Adam, to deal with this directly. As for her own emotions about seeing Adam again—well, she would try to sort those out later.
“You knew that man on the beach, didn’t you, Mom?” Simon asked, glancing up from his bowl with a smear of yogurt at the corner of his mouth.
She smoothed a cowlick at the back of his head. “Yes, I know him.”
“What’s his name?”
“Adam.” She saw no need just then to add the surname.
“Did you meet him last time you were here?”
She’d told Simon when she’d booked this vacation that she’d visited the resort once before, though of course she’d left out the details. What on earth had made her come here again? When she’d made the reservation just after her son’s fifth birthday, she’d assured herself Simon would like what she remembered about the place—the quiet beaches, the pools, the day programs for kids. She’d told herself it was time to deal with her memories of her son’s father, to see the place again through a fresh, more realistic perspective. If she’d had any idea of what—who—she would find here, she wasn’t sure she’d have had the courage to follow through. “Yes, I met him then.”
To her relief, Simon’s attention moved on now that she’d satisfied his curiosity. “When do I leave for the aquarium?”
She smiled, pleased that he seemed eager for the arrangements she’d made for him. Through the resort reservation website, she had enrolled him in the Explorers Club, a program for kids his age. Each afternoon this week, he would join five other children and two certified teachers for field trips and activities based on introductory oceanography. She’d thought Simon would be less likely to be bored with the mother-son vacation if he interacted with other kids in an educational setting. Her bright, inquisitive child was always excited by learning new things. As an academic herself, she wanted to encourage him to continue to view learning as fun.
“You’ll leave right after lunch. One o’clock. What would you like to do in the meantime? Go swimming? Walk on the beach? Build a sandcastle?”
He nodded abstractedly. “Okay, but first can we look up lettered olives on the computer?”
“Lettered olives?”
He picked up the shell he’d found on the beach that morning, a smooth, mottled cream-and-tan cylinder. “Mr. Adam said it’s a lettered olive shell, and he said it’s from a snail, but that’s all I know. The video I just watched didn’t talk about lettered olives. Can we learn more about it?”
Mr. Adam. She felt a wry smile twist her lips in response to the name. “Yes, but we’re not going to spend all of this beautiful morning on the computer.”
Which Simon would happily do if she let him. He loved surfing kids’ sites and watching educational videos, many of them geared to children several years ahead of him in school. Though he would start kindergarten in the fall, he was already reading at a third-grade level and was several grades ahead in math.
While doing her best to promote her gifted child’s intellectual development, Joanna made sure he stayed physically and socially
