Confessions. Lisa Jackson

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of us are tired of waiting,” Donna said.

      “If you ask me, you’ll never see that money again. Old man Monroe will find a way to keep it for himself,” Kevin predicted.

      “It’ll pay off.”

      Nadine noticed a drizzle of sweat near her father’s temple.

      “Monroe’s a bastard.”

      Donna gasped. “Kevin!”

      “I’ll hear no talk like that at my table,” their father ordered, and the dining room was suddenly silent. Deafeningly quiet. Aside from the drone of the anchorman from the television set in the living room, no one uttered a sound.

      A piece of ham seemed to lodge in Nadine’s throat. She drank a long swallow from her water glass and met Ben’s worried gaze over the rim. Their animosity dissolved instantly and once again they were allies in the war that seemed to be growing daily within the family. A war, Nadine was sure, in which no one would be a victor.

      * * *

      THE NEXT WEEK was the Fourth of July. In celebration, and because of the escalating fire danger in the woods due to dry summer conditions, Fitzpatrick Logging Company and Monroe Sawmill Company were closed. The entire town was on vacation. A fever of excitement swept through the streets of Gold Creek in preparation for a parade led by the mayor, a city-wide barbecue put on by the churches and a dance held in the park.

      In addition, the Monroe Sawmill Company picnic was slated for that weekend in the county park on the west shore of Whitefire Lake.

      Long before she’d met Hayden, Nadine had planned to spend most of the weekend with Sam. Now, as the celebration approached, she couldn’t find any enthusiasm for being with Sam. He was nice enough and he cared about her, but...if she were honest with herself, she knew she’d rather spend her free time with Hayden. Silly girl!

      The day of the city barbecue dawned sultry. Thick, gray clouds huddled in the western sky and the air didn’t seem to move. The house felt a hundred degrees as Donna baked three strawberry-rhubarb pies to take to the potluck dinner.

      Nadine rode into town with her parents, watched the parade, then walked to the park where red, white and blue streamers had been tied around the trunks of the largest trees. Balloons filled with helium floated skyward, while children ran and laughed and adults set up the tables covered with butcher paper. Under a canopy, several women set out platters of corn on the cob, green beans, salads, Jell-O molds and every imaginable cake and pie. Men, sweating and laughing, stood barbecuing chicken and ribs.

      There was a festive feel in the atmosphere, and even Nadine, glum because she’d agreed to meet Sam, was caught in the good mood. There was a chance that she would see Hayden at the picnic. She helped her mother serve desserts and watched as children ran in gunnysack and three-legged races. Some adults were caught up in a softball game and most of the teenagers were playing volleyball or sunbathing.

      Nadine couldn’t help scanning the crowd, searching for Hayden. Though she’d agreed to help pour soda into paper cups, her gaze strayed from her task so often that her hands were sticky near the end of her shift.

      Sam showed up in the late afternoon. With a group of boys from school, he approached the soda station and suggested that Nadine find someone to take over her job.

      “Can’t. I promised that I’d work until seven,” she said. “Unless you want to finish my shift and spend the next couple of hours pouring soda.”

      “Very funny,” Sam replied, though he didn’t smile.

      “This is important to Mom. The proceeds go to the library book fund.”

      “Big deal.”

      She felt more than slightly irritated by his attitude. “It is if you’re the part-time librarian.”

      “I suppose.” Sam ordered a Coke, then hung around the booth’s window while she continued to work. He even helped out when the dinner crowd showed up, but still she resented him. Ever since she’d been with Hayden, her interest in Sam had waned. She still liked him; he’d been her friend for years, but she knew she’d never tingle in anticipation when she saw him, would never feel the powerful surge of emotions that seemed to explode in her every time she looked into Hayden’s eyes.

      At seven o’clock, she was finally relieved by Thelma Surrett and her fifteen-year-old daughter, Carlie. Thelma worked as a waitress at the ice-cream counter of the Rexall Drugstore and Carlie was a couple of years behind Nadine in school. With raven black hair, round blue eyes and high cheekbones, Carlie was drop-dead gorgeous and had already attracted a lot of male attention. Even Kevin, who was twenty-two, had noticed her.

      Nadine quickly showed them the cash box, how to change soda canisters and the portable cupboard in which the extra paper cups were stashed. She offered to work longer and help out, but Thelma waved her aside. “I’ve spent half my life serving these folks down at the store. I figure Carlie and I can handle a few cups of root beer. You two go on along.” She shooed Nadine out of the booth. “Have some fun. Dance.”

      Sam didn’t need any encouragement. Grabbing Nadine’s hand, he headed toward the stage where a group of local musicians were tuning up and one of the technicians was trying to eliminate the feedback that screeched from the microphone.

      She had no choice but to dance with Sam. She had promised that she’d be with him for all of the celebration, yet she wasn’t comfortable in his arms, had trouble laughing at his jokes, avoided his lips when he tried to kiss her.

      “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked as he held her close and swayed to the band’s rendition of “Yesterday.”

      “Nothing’s wrong,” she lied, knowing that Hayden Monroe was at the heart of her discontent.

      “Sure.” He tried to pull her closer and rather than argue, she let him fold her into a tight embrace. How could she explain that she was falling for another boy—a boy she barely knew, a boy who would probably never look her way again? She closed her eyes and remembered the kisses she and Hayden had shared, the feel of his skin, the way his touch could turn her bones to water....

      “That’s more like it,” Sam whispered against her ear. He kissed her temple and Nadine tensed. She felt like a Judas, dancing with him, holding him when her heart was far away with Hayden Monroe.

      As the song ended, she disentangled herself and made an excuse about needing to go to the bathroom. Sam found his friends and she hurried off toward the restrooms, intending to splash cold water on her face and find a way to tell Sam that she wasn’t interested in him romantically.

      “Having a good time?”

      Hayden’s voice stopped her short. She whirled, hardly daring to breathe and found him in the thickening shadows, lounging against the rough trunk of a massive cedar tree.

      “I’m trying to.”

      “That your boyfriend?” He cocked his head in Sam’s direction, where, along with a few of his friends, Sam was adding to his soda from a bottle hidden in a brown paper bag.

      “He’s...he’s just a friend.”

      “Looked like more than that to me.”

      “You

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