Confessions. Lisa Jackson
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“What the hell am I going to do with you?” he ground out, his breath ragged and torn. “Just what the hell am I going to do with you?”
“Trust me.”
The smile he flashed her was positively wicked. “I don’t think either one of us should trust the other. And I know you shouldn’t trust me. God, Nadine, I— This isn’t going to work.”
“I want to be with you,” she said desperately.
His eyes searched her face and he smiled a little, though reluctance still shone in his gaze. “Meet me later.”
“Nadine?”
Ben’s voice again!
She froze. “Later?” she asked Hayden, desperate to see him again. Curse her brother for interrupting them. “But how—”
When he didn’t answer, she stepped closer, surprised at her own boldness. She touched him lightly on the shoulder and he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. “Where?”
“Don’t—”
“Where?” she demanded.
He held her close and kissed her, appearing to accept their fate. “At the lake. Tomorrow night,” he finally said, then turned and disappeared into the darkness. “In the lagoon where we were before.”
Nadine shivered as he left. She rubbed her arms and wondered if she’d have the nerve to meet him again. What did she know about him? He was rich. He’d never known the meaning of want. He didn’t have much respect for his father. And she lost all sense of reason when he kissed her.
She was acting like a ninny. She was no better than Patty Osgood or Trish London. But she couldn’t help herself. Hell could freeze over and Nadine knew that tomorrow night she’d be waiting for him. At the lake.
* * *
THE AIR WAS thick and heavy, the sky hazy for the Monroe Sawmill Company picnic. Unlike the day before, all the food and beverages were catered and served by a firm from Coleville. Compliments of Garreth Monroe.
A whole pig roasted upon a spit, and cloth-covered tables were arranged under a huge tent, where salads cooled in trays of crushed ice, and a huge electric freezer was churning homemade ice cream to top fresh strawberry shortcake.
Despite the threat of thunderstorms, the mood of the employees of the sawmill company was carefree. Laughter and conversation floated on the air tinged with the acrid scents of cigarette smoke and sizzling pork slathered in barbecue sauce.
Blankets were spread upon the grass and sunbathers soaked up rays while children splashed in the roped-off area of the lake and older kids swam farther out.
Nadine’s entire family attended. Her mother, sipping iced tea, sat at a table and gossiped with other wives of the mill employees. George Powell threw horseshoes with some of his friends. They talked and laughed and sipped from cups of beer drawn from a large keg.
Kevin swam with the younger men he worked with and Ben linked up with Patty Osgood, who had come as a guest of one of the foreman’s daughters.
The muggy air was cloying, and sweat collected on Nadine’s skin as she sat on a blanket next to Sam. Her eyes, hidden behind dark glasses, continually scanned the crowd for Hayden. She knew she was being foolish, but she couldn’t stop herself from searching the groups of people. Surely he would attend. His father was here, glad-handing and acting just like one of the men who worked for him. He pitched horseshoes, downed beer and told off-color jokes with his employees. Dressed in crisp jeans and a polo shirt, he squired his wife, Sylvia Fitzgerald Monroe, through the tents and games. Hayden’s mother managed to smile, though no light of laughter lit her cool blue eyes. Her silver-blond hair was coiled into a French braid at the back of her head and the nails of her fingers were painted a dusty shade of rose, the same color as her jumpsuit. A delicate scarf was pinned around her neck and diamonds winked at her earlobes.
Hayden was nowhere in sight.
Nadine tried to hide her disappointment and pretended interest in a game of water volleyball, but she wished she’d catch a glimpse of him.
“You’re still mad at me,” Sam said, touching her arm.
“I’m not mad.”
“Just because I tied one on. It was a stupid thing to do and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. Come on, Nadine, don’t hold a couple of drinks against me.”
“It was more than a couple.”
“I got a little out of hand—”
“You threw up all over the back porch, Sam,” she said, irritated. Even her parents had been angry.
“I’m sorry. Forgive me?” he asked.
“Nothing to forgive.” She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her knees. Sam had added liquor to his soda last night, and it was the first time Nadine had ever seen him drunk.
Leaning back on his elbows, Sam adjusted his sunglasses to protect his eyes. He had sobered up since the night before and was suffering with a hangover. His skin was paler than usual and two aspirin hadn’t seemed to help to ease the pain of what he called a thundering headache. “Don’t tell me. I know,” he said, wincing as a ten-year-old boy set off a string of firecrackers against all park and company regulations. The kid was promptly scolded by his mother. “I deserve this.” Sam reached for her hand and held it between two of his. “I probably wouldn’t have gotten so drunk if you wouldn’t have been in such a rotten mood.”
“So now it’s my fault?” she asked, removing her hand and feeling uneasy.
“What’s going on, Nadine? Something’s not right—and don’t bother trying to deny it.”
She couldn’t. It was time to be honest with Sam. She owed him that much. “I...I just think we shouldn’t see so much of each other,” she said in a quick rush of breath.
Sam didn’t move a muscle, just continued staring across the lake. “So much of each other?”
“Yes...”
“You want to date other guys?”
“I—”
“Who?” he demanded, suddenly facing her. His face suffused with color while his lips turned white.
“Who what?”
“Who is he?” he asked, his voice low. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”
“No one special,” she lied.
“Like hell! Dammit, Nadine, where’d you meet him?” he demanded, suddenly furious.
“I just think it’s time we saw other people. That’s all.”
“Why now?” He glanced around, as if he expected one of the boys at the picnic to come up to Nadine